• The Wire Brush Treatment

    An army Major visiting sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks, "What's your problem, Soldier?"

    "Chronic syphilis, Sir."

    "What treatment are you getting?"

    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

    "What's your ambition?"

    "To get back to the front, Sir."

    "Good man," says the Major. He goes to the next bad. "What's your problem, Soldier?"

    "Chronic piles, Sir."

    "What treatment are you getting?"

    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

    "What's your ambition?"

    "To get back to the front, Sir."

    "Good man," says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?"

    "Chronic gum disease, Sir."

    "What treatment are you getting?"

    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

    "What's your ambition?"

    "To get the wire brush before them two, Sir."
  • Helping Hand

    A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand.

    The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can't even hold a pen."

    "Certainly sir," said the younger man, "I'd be glad to."

    He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man. Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?"

    The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just add, 'P.S.: Please excuse the sloppy hand-writing.'"
  • Door-to-Door Campaign

    Two church members were going door-to-door through the neighbourhood and finally arrived at Mrs. Smith's house.

    She was not happy to see them. She greeted them with an attitude that made it clear she had no time to waste on them or their message. As she slammed the door in their faces, though, to her surprise, it bounced back open.

    She caught it, slammed it again, but the same thing happened!

    Convinced the man must be sticking his foot in the doorway, she reared back to slam it hard enough to teach him a lesson, when he cried, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you really should move your cat!"
  • Doctor's Wife

    Ek Aadmi Ka Gala Baith Gaya Tha... Bahut Koshish Ke Baad Bhi Kuch Araam Nahi Mila. Raat Ke Do Baje Jab Takleef Kaafi Bad Gayi Toh Tang Aakar Vo Apni Biwi Se Bola: Kuch Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Raha Hai Ke Kya Karoon?

    Biwi: Main Toh Shaam Se Hi Bol Rahi Thi Ki Kisi Doctor Se Check Karwa Lo... Lekin Tum Meri Sunte Kahan Ho... Vo Samne Wale Apartment Mein Doctor Ka Ghar Hai, Wahan Chale Jaao.

    Pati: Raat Ke Do Baje Kisi Ke Ghar Jaate Achcha Nahin Lagta.

    Patni: Doctor Ka Farz Hota Hai Mareej Ko Dekhna Aur Theek Karna, Raat Ya Din Ka Koi Matlab Nahi Hota Ismein.

    Pati Ne Is Baat Ko Socha Aur Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Samne Wale Apartment Mein Pahunch Ke Dawaja Khat-Khataya, Ander Se Doctor Ki Biwi Ne Pucha: Kaun Hai?

    Pati (Gala Bethi Hui Awaaz Mein): Main Hoon Aapka Padosi, Doctor Sahab Hai?

    Ander Se Biwi Ki Sexy Si Awaaz Aayi: Nahi Hai, Aa Jaao.
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