• Door-to-Door Campaign

    Two church members were going door-to-door through the neighbourhood and finally arrived at Mrs. Smith's house.

    She was not happy to see them. She greeted them with an attitude that made it clear she had no time to waste on them or their message. As she slammed the door in their faces, though, to her surprise, it bounced back open.

    She caught it, slammed it again, but the same thing happened!

    Convinced the man must be sticking his foot in the doorway, she reared back to slam it hard enough to teach him a lesson, when he cried, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you really should move your cat!"
  • Doctor's Wife

    Ek Aadmi Ka Gala Baith Gaya Tha... Bahut Koshish Ke Baad Bhi Kuch Araam Nahi Mila. Raat Ke Do Baje Jab Takleef Kaafi Bad Gayi Toh Tang Aakar Vo Apni Biwi Se Bola: Kuch Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Raha Hai Ke Kya Karoon?

    Biwi: Main Toh Shaam Se Hi Bol Rahi Thi Ki Kisi Doctor Se Check Karwa Lo... Lekin Tum Meri Sunte Kahan Ho... Vo Samne Wale Apartment Mein Doctor Ka Ghar Hai, Wahan Chale Jaao.

    Pati: Raat Ke Do Baje Kisi Ke Ghar Jaate Achcha Nahin Lagta.

    Patni: Doctor Ka Farz Hota Hai Mareej Ko Dekhna Aur Theek Karna, Raat Ya Din Ka Koi Matlab Nahi Hota Ismein.

    Pati Ne Is Baat Ko Socha Aur Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Samne Wale Apartment Mein Pahunch Ke Dawaja Khat-Khataya, Ander Se Doctor Ki Biwi Ne Pucha: Kaun Hai?

    Pati (Gala Bethi Hui Awaaz Mein): Main Hoon Aapka Padosi, Doctor Sahab Hai?

    Ander Se Biwi Ki Sexy Si Awaaz Aayi: Nahi Hai, Aa Jaao.
  • Grandmas' Name

    Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first.

    He obviously couldn't wait that long, and the next time his grandmother turned around he was gone. She panicked and looked everywhere for him, but he had disappeared.

    Finally she went to the customer service desk, intending to have them announce his name over the PA system. To her relief he was already there waiting for her.

    The woman at the desk said, "He wanted us to announce your name over the PA system, but he didn't' know what your name was. We asked him what his daddy called you, and he replied 'mom', next we asked him what Grandpa called you and he replied 'sugar'. We were almost out of questions for him when another lady suggested that your daughter-in-law might call you by your first name."

    "We were so happy to see you show up at the desk," she continued, "because when we asked him what his mommy called you, we were out of ideas!"

    "Well," asked Little Johnny's grandmother curiously, "What did he say?"

    "He said," she replied, "that his mother called you 'A BITCH'!"
  • Olympic Athletes

    An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were trying to get in to see the Olympics without tickets. So they got to the stadium during one of the main events and discussed how they would be able to attend without paying.

    The Englishman walked around the stadium and saw a pole lying on the ground and picked it up. He walked to the entrance and said, "Peter. England. Pole throwing."

    The guards let him in without hesitation.

    While walking, the Scotsman sees a manhole. He picks up the cover, carries it under his arm to the entrance and says, "McGregor. Scotland. Discus throwing."

    The guards let him in also.

    The Irishman is very frantic, since both his friends are now inside. He walks around the stadium and finds a roll of barbed wire. He picks it up, walks to the entrance and says, "Murphy... Ireland... Fencing."