• That's not an Aquarium

    A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool.

    They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was too large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool's bottom.

    That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel's elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium. Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.

    When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, "That's not an aquarium... that's the swimming pool!"
  • A Fantastic Marriage

    John brought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner. As they arrived at the door, his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.

    "My goodness," said Peter, "and how long have you been married?"

    "22 years," replied John.

    "You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years."

    "Don't be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous."
  • Faith In the Lord

    A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.

    Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death.

    Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!"

    But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there?"

    A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."

    "Who is it?"

    "It's the Lord."

    "Can you help me?"

    "Yes, I can help. Have faith in me."

    "Help me!"

    "Let go."

    Looking around the man became full of panic, "What?!?!"

    "Have faith in me. Let go. I will catch you."

    "Uh.... Is there anybody else up there?"
  • Samajwadi Party Feud

    History of Yadav family Whatsapp group.
    Mulayam Singh Yadav created Samajwadi Party group.

    Added brother Shivpal Yadav.
    Added second brother Ram Gopal Yadav.
    Added son Akhilesh Yadav.
    Added Daughter-in-law.

    Mulayam made Akhilesh Yadav the admin.

    Things were going decent until Mulayam made the mistake of adding a friend to this whatsapp group.
    Added Amar Singh.

    Amar sent too many forwards, videos and good morning messages. Obviously pissed off a few people. Akihlesh voiced his opinion because his data was getting used up thanks to the stupid forwards.

    Akhilesh removes Amar Singh from the group.

    Mulayam removes Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Akhilesh adds Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Akhilesh removes Shivpal Yadav.

    Mulayam adds Shivpal Yadav.

    Mulayam adds Amar Singh.

    Situation is tense.

    Mulayam removes Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Mulyam removes Akhilesh Yadav.

    Mulyam realises that he removed the admin. Bad call, whatdapp group is going down.

    Mulyaam adds Akhilesh Yadav.

    Mulayam adds Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Akhilesh removes Mulayam...

    To be continued...