• The Curious Case of Vijay

    After lots of allegations and jokes, Vijay Mallya goes to SBI to repay the loan.. but see what happens:

    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan...
    SBI: It's lunch time come after 1 hour...

    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan, so today I came early at 9.30...
    SBI: We are not open still, come after 11am...

    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan, I've come at 11 am like you asked me to...
    SBI: Monthend sir, today is too much rush... wait for some time or come after tea time.

    Thursday, (Comes at 2 pm):
    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan...
    SBI: Have you brought all the documents? Looks like two of your documents are missing... and I need a stamp from the other banks... come after doing it. We can't take your documents like that - it's a govt. bank, not private bank, right?

    Vijay to SBI person: I want to repay my loan , I have come with all the documents.
    SBI: The designated person is on leave... come tomorrow...

    Vijay goes to Bank & surprised after seeing it closed, asks the watchman: Is the bank closed because of me?
    Watchman: Sir... today's 2nd Saturday come on Monday.

    Vijay leaves India... (Facts written & Scripted by a tired customer of so called banks)
  • Who's The Boss?

    A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

    He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.

    "Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

    "I am." said the man.

    "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"

    The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

    "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

    "Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
  • Latest Airport Security Device

    What a simple and brilliant idea! I particularly like the 'spare' seat announcement!! It's hard to beat Israeli technology!

    TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners.

    It's an armoured booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

    Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

    You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:

    "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on Flight 670 to London. Shalom!" BRILLIANT !
  • Evil Spell

    Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)

    One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say: 'My Darling'.

    But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

    But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

    Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.

    Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"

    And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, "Pardon?"