• Smart Business Strategy

    An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years, until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.

    They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: Butter - 10 francs.

    In response, the lady added a sign to her own window: Butter - 9 francs.

    The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign: Butter - 8 francs.

    Sure enough, the day after the lady's sign now read: 7 francs.

    This went on for a while, until eventually one of the lady's customers pointed to the sign and said, "Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete."

    In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered, "Monsieur, I don't even sell butter."
  • A Brief History of India

    As written by a Class - X schoolboy, with all the original spellings.
    This guy is a genius!!! It will make you laugh. The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.

    Ancient India was full of myths, which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys Because they were our incestors.

    In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.

    In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution.

    They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines.v Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling.

    Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi, so they are calling it Door Darshan.

    After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clip per.

    Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways.

    They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out embered since the British had the queen on their side. Eventually, the British came to Overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth.

    This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt. This was called the swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.

    In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootaoing our country.

    In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police.

    Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis. Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper.

    The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand.

    So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark . At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.

    Recently in India, there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. It can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat. Scams are all over India.

    One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot.

    Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left, right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself.

    India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population."
  • Sugar Tongs

    Lady Crofton-Smythe was giving an upper-crust party, and had hired Lena, a girl recently come to London from County Cork, as a maid.

    As Lena was setting up the tea service, Lady C-S told her to be certain that there were sugar tongs available. Lena had never heard of sugar tongs, and asked the Lady what they were and why they were used.

    Lady C-S, always happy to Enlighten the Unenlightened, told Lena that the problem lay with the gentlemen, who would go to the loo, and to do what they needed to do, had to touch things which were less than acceptably sanitary. Yes, even the Nobility was subject to this masculine frailty.

    "Sure, Ma'am, 'twas nothing like this Oi ever saw in Ireland," Lena said, impressed.

    "Well, the Irish will learn manners someday, Lena," said the Lady, with an instinctive lifting of her nose.

    After the guests had begun arriving that evening, Lady C-S was dismayed and infuriated not to see any sugar tongs on the tea service. Lena, trembling, came quickly in answer to the Lady's angry shout.

    "But... but, m'Lady, sure, an' Oi put the tongs out just as you told me to."

    Her furious employer pointed to the tea table, devoid of tongs. "Then where are they, young woman?"

    "Why, they're in the loo, of course."
  • Rich Girls

    Q: How do you tickle a Rich Girl?
    A: Gucci... Gucci... Gucci...

    Q: How does a Rich Girl far?
    A: Pradaaaa...!!!

    Q: How does a Rich Girl Curse?
    A: Oh Teri Fendi!

    Q: How does a Rich Girl Sneeze.
    A: Jimmy Choo... Jimmy Choo...

    Q: How does a rich girl laugh?
    A: Rolex on d floor laughing.

    Q: How do you serenade a Rich Girl?
    A: By singing her a romantic Cavalli.

    Q: How does a rich girl exclaim?
    A: Omega!

    Q: What does a rich girl do when she's bored watching TV?
    A: She changes the Chanel.

    Q: How to annoy rich girl on fb?
    A: Tag Heuer on your posts.

    Q: What do you call an absconding rich girl?
    A: Ferrari