• Faith In the Lord

    A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.

    Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death.

    Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!"

    But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail. Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there?"

    A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."

    "Who is it?"

    "It's the Lord."

    "Can you help me?"

    "Yes, I can help. Have faith in me."

    "Help me!"

    "Let go."

    Looking around the man became full of panic, "What?!?!"

    "Have faith in me. Let go. I will catch you."

    "Uh.... Is there anybody else up there?"
  • Samajwadi Party Feud

    History of Yadav family Whatsapp group.
    Mulayam Singh Yadav created Samajwadi Party group.

    Added brother Shivpal Yadav.
    Added second brother Ram Gopal Yadav.
    Added son Akhilesh Yadav.
    Added Daughter-in-law.

    Mulayam made Akhilesh Yadav the admin.

    Things were going decent until Mulayam made the mistake of adding a friend to this whatsapp group.
    Added Amar Singh.

    Amar sent too many forwards, videos and good morning messages. Obviously pissed off a few people. Akihlesh voiced his opinion because his data was getting used up thanks to the stupid forwards.

    Akhilesh removes Amar Singh from the group.

    Mulayam removes Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Akhilesh adds Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Akhilesh removes Shivpal Yadav.

    Mulayam adds Shivpal Yadav.

    Mulayam adds Amar Singh.

    Situation is tense.

    Mulayam removes Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Mulyam removes Akhilesh Yadav.

    Mulyam realises that he removed the admin. Bad call, whatdapp group is going down.

    Mulyaam adds Akhilesh Yadav.

    Mulayam adds Ram Gopal Yadav.

    Akhilesh removes Mulayam...

    To be continued...
  • Cocktail For Big Ideas

    "What's that drink you're mixing" the stranger asked the bartender in the upscale Tex-Mex bar.

    "I call it a lil' Texas Shooter", said the bartender as he continued to mix up several batches of the drink.

    "What's in it ?" asked the stranger.

    "Sugar, milk and rum." said the barkeep.

    "Is it good ?" asked the man.

    "Sure is senor." said the bartender smiling. "The sugar gives you pep, and the milk gives you plenty of energy."

    "And the rum?" asked the stranger.

    "Hell man. That gives ya plenty of ideas what to do with all that pep and energy." quipped the bartender.
  • Had It All

    This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man. I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way.

    He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
    "I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage."

    I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"

    "Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "I was released from prison."