• Worst Railway Budget

    Worst railway budget of all time. Totally disappointed.

    No train from India to Bangladesh - Didi disappointed.

    No special bogies in every train for Dharna - Kejriwal disappointed.

    No reservation on the grounds of caste in the bogies - Lalu/Nitish/Ravish disappointed.

    No arrangements for matinee show of Chhota Bheem and Doremon in Trains and stations - RaGa disappointed.

    No 'Kashmir Azadi' express train proposed - JNU disappointed.

    No 'Vibishan Express' proposed - Shratugan Sinha disappointed.

    No assurance of ‪#‎Tolerance‬ by the railway minister - Award Wapasi Gang/ Aamir Khan disappointed.

    No train to Pakistan - Manishankar Iyer/Salman Khurshid disappointed.

    No subsidized water in the trains and stations - Delhites who voted for AAP disappointed.

    No special quota for minorities - Anti Modi gang / Presstitues disappointed.
  • Chinese Room Service

    By the time you read through this you will understand TANJOOBERRYMUTTS and then you will be ready to take on China! Believe me... you WILL understand!!! The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a Hotel guest & room-service in China...

    Room Service: Morrin. Roon sirbees.

    Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

    Room Service: Rye , Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?

    Guest: Uh... Yes, I'd like to order bacon & eggs.

    Room Service: Ow ulai den?

    Guest: .....What??

    Room Service: Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?

    Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please.

    Room Service: Ow ulai dee bayken? Creepse?

    Guest: Crisp will be fine.

    Room Service: Hokay. An sahn toes?

    Guest: What?

    Room Service: An toes. ulai sahn toes?

    Guest: I.... Don't think so...
    Room Service: No? Udo wan sahn toes???

    Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means.

    Room Service: Toes! Toes!... Why Uoo don wan toes?... Ow bow anglish moppin we botter?

    Guest: Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine... Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

    Room Service: We botter?

    Guest: No, just put the botter on the side.

    Room Service: Wad?!?

    Guest: I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side.

    Room Service: Copy?

    Guest: Excuse me?

    Room Service: Copy.. tea... meel?

    Guest: Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything.

    Room Service: One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh & copy... Rye ??

    Guest: Whatever you say.

    Room Service: Tanjooberrymutts.

    Guest: You're welcome

    Remember I did say By the time you read through this... ...YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'
    And you do now, don't you!
  • Shopping With Grandma

    Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.

    Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first. He obviously couldn't wait that long, and the next time his grandmother turned around he was gone.

    She panicked and looked everywhere for him, but he had disappeared. Finally she went to the customer service desk, intending to have them announce his name over the PA system. To her relief he was already there waiting for her.

    The woman at the desk said, "He wanted us to announce your name over the PA system, but he didn't know what your name was. We asked him what his daddy called you, and he replied 'mom', next we asked him what Grandpa called you and he replied 'Sugar'.

    "We were almost out of questions for him when another lady suggested that your daughter-in-law might call you by your first name.

    "We were so happy to see you show up at the desk," she continued, "because when we asked him what his mommy called you, we were out of ideas!"

    "Well," asked Little Johnny's grandmother curiously, "What did he say?"

    "He said," she replied, "that his mother called you 'THE B-TCH'!"
  • Never Annoy Your Barber

    Manglu: Apne Pasandeeda Hair Cuting Salon Mein Shave Karwaane Pahuncha.

    Shave Karwate Samaye Uska Dhyaan Baaju Waali Khali Kursi Par Gaya Toh Usne Naai Se Puchcha Kya Baat Hai Bhai Aaj Tera Partner Golu Nahi Dikh Raha Hai. Chhuti Par Hai Kaya?

    Barber Ne Jawaab Diya: Vo Toh Jail Mein Hai!

    Manglu: Kyun Bhai!? Kya Ho Gya Aisa?? Kya Kar Diya Golu Ne???

    Barber: Vo Kya Hai Ki Aajkal Dhanda Bahut Manda Chal Raha Hai Isliye Golu Bahut Pareshan Rehta Tha! Kal Ek Grahak Aaya, Usne Shave Karwayi Toh Golu Ne Us Se Pucha Ki Massage Bhi Kar Dun Kya? Toh Us Grahak Ne Mana Kar Diya! Bas Golu Ko Gussa Aa Gya Aur Usne Uske Gale Par Ustra Maar Diya. Filhaal Golu Attempt Of Murder Ke Case Mein Andar Hai!

    Manglu: Aree Bhai Yeh Toh Bada Hi Bura Huya!

    Barber: Haan Sachmuch Bahut Bura Huya! Achcha Chaliye Choriye Aapki Shave Toh Ho Gayi, Masaage Bhi Kar Dun Naa?

    Manglu (Ghabrakar): Haan Haan Bhai, Kyun Nahi, Jaroor, Jaroor Mujhe Toh Baal Bhi Thode Bade Lag Rahe Hain... Lage Haath Vo Bhi Kaat De Bhai... Bas Naraaz Na Hona!