• Professional Courtesy

    A violent tropical storm enveloped a sailing yacht off the southern coast of Florida lasting all night and most of the next morning. As the sky cleared and the seas calmed, the people on the yacht realized they were grounded on a coral reef about a mile from shore in shark infested waters.

    Most of those aboard the yacht were badly injured from their ordeal. The only able bodied that were on board were a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer.

    The doctor says, "Someone is going to have to swim ashore and get some help. I would volunteer but most of the crew and passengers are in pretty bad shape and I am needed here to care for them."

    The priest replies, "I would volunteer to go also but I might be needed to comfort the injured or perform last rights."

    The lawyer says, "No problem."

    He immediately strips off his shirt and dives into the shark infested water. There is a great turbulence in the water and then the doctor and priest notice that all of the sharks have formed a double line from the yacht to the beach allowing the lawyer to swim between them.

    "My Goodness," says the priest. "It is a miracle!"

    The doctor looking at the lawyer swimming to shore says, "No, Father. It is not a miracle. It's professional courtesy!"
  • Kuch Anmol Vachan

    Zindagi Mein Sirf 'Paana' He Sabkuch Nahin Hota, Uske Saath Nut-Bolt Bhi Chahiye.
    -Chhagan Mistree

    Tum Mujhe Khoon Do... Mein Tumhee 3 Baje Tak Blood Report De Doonga.
    -Ghanashyaam Leboretaree

    Yahaan Khuda Hai, Vahaan Khuda Hai, Aaas Paas Khuda Hi Khuda Hai Aur Jahaan Khuda Nahin Hai, Vahaan Kal Khudegaa.

    Zindagi Mein Jab Aapko Koi Raasta Dikhayi Naa De, Koi Manzil Dikhayi Na De, Koi Apna Dikhayi Na De Toh... Mobile Mein Tourch Bhi Hota Hai, Usko Jala Lena.
    -Pawan Mobile

    Jeevan Mein Kabhi Ghabraahat Mehsoos Ho, Aap Paseene-Paseene Ho Rahe Hon Toh Yeh Sochein Ki Aapko Attack Aane Vala Hai. Yeh Bhi Ho Sakta Hai Ki Aapka Pankha Kharaab Ho.
    Bhola Electrician

    Kis Bhi Cheez Se Moh Mat Palo.... Jeevan Mein Tyag Karna Bhi Seekho... Apna Purana Aur Bekaar Samaan Mujhe De Do -Mango Kabadiya
  • Banta Ki Samajhdari!

    Ek Baar Gaanv Mein Rehne Wala Banta Shehar Se Aye Apne Friends Ko Ghumaane Le Jaata Hai.

    Gaadi Ke Saamane Ke Kaanch Se Doston Ko Kuch Bhi Dikhai Nahin De Raha Tha.

    Lekin Banta Sadak Ke Tamaam Gaddhe Bachata Hua Badi Hi Safai Aur Proper Tareeke Se Gaadi Chala Raha Tha.

    Doston Ne Hairaan Hokar Puchha: Yaar Banta, Saamane Kanch Se Kuch Bhi Saaf Najar Nahin Aa Raha Phir Bhi Tu Gaadi Itni Parfect Kaise Chala Le Raha Hai?!?

    Banta: Kyaa Bataun Yaron... Apni Bhulane Ki Aadat Ke Karan Ab Tak Mere 40-50 Chashme Gum Ho Chuke Hein.

    Dost: Are Banta, Hum Driving Ke Bare Mein Puch Rahe Hein.

    Banta: Vahi Toh Bata Raha Hun. Chashme Banwa-Banwa Kar Mein Pareshaan Ho Gaya Tha.... Tab Maine Gaadi Ka Kaanch He Chashme Ke Number Vala Banakar Gaadi Mein Lagwa Liya. Ab Koi Dikkat nahin Aati.
  • Skinny-Dip

    An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

    One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

    As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

    One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

    The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

    Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligators."

    Some old men can still think fast.