|These are written by an Indian Lexophile|
1. Mujhe Ek Ghante Se Auto Nahi Mila, Shayad Bhagwaan Meri paRICKSHAW Le Raha Hai.
2. My Body Is In Office, But My Mind Is SOMVAR Else... #Monday Blues.
3. I Am Feeling Too Lazy To Meet My Friends. AALSI Them Later.
4. Son: Dad, Rum Piyoge?
Dad: Oye Puttar 'Bacar'di Gal Na Kar...
5. If You Eat Fiery Garlic Pickle Before Class, You'll Learn A Valuable Lehsun.
6. Weight Loss Frustration... Pran Jaaye Par Wajan Naa Jaye!
7. Saw a Line of Hyundai Sonatas Parked on An Empty Road. Asked someone There: Itna Sonata Kyun Hai Bhai???
8. If Johny Depp Does Devdas, There'll be Jack's Paro.
9. A Daughter Is The Perfect Child. A Son Is Just A Beta Version.
10. When in Chennai, Many North Indians Wonder: Ye Kaahan Aa Gaye Hum, Yoon Hee South South Chalte...
11. She is Libra I Am Leo Humari Jodi Kuch Gemini.
12. Decided To Go To A Italian Restaurant Kyunki Woh Ghar Ke PASTA.
|An Avid Sportsman and hunter, Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.|
After a long period of silence she finally speaks, "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"You were beginning to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
He replied, "I wasn't."
|A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer.|
Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender the guy throws 30 dimes behind the counter.
The bartender is pissed and is on his hands and knees collecting change as the guy leaves.
The next day the man is back and he comes in waiving a $3 dollar bill.
The bartender thinks, "Okay, business is business..." and lets him in. Again, the beer is kind of warm, but the guy doesn't say anything.
Comes time to pay, the man gives him the $5 note.
The bartender goes to the register to get the change, but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he takes out 20 dimes and throws them all around the entire pub. The bartender says, "There is your f**king change!"
The man looks around and remains quite calm. He takes out 10 dimes, throws them behind the counter and says, "Gimme another beer!"
|Socrates' Methods Don't Appear to Work for Everything|
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance ran up to the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be something I can use to benefit the world?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man stared at him, and without a word turned around and left, dejected.
This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why he never found out his best friend was sleeping with his wife.