• Baap Ka Sadak Hai ??

    It is said that once Russi Mody, of Tata's, was on an official trip to Bombay.Even though it was a Sunday morning, Russi had to visit Bombay House, the Corporate Head Quarters of the Tata Group.

    He was driving a Mercedes himself as it was a Sunday and there was very little traffic and also it was the chauffeur's day off. He was wearing simple shorts and a T shirt.

    Knowing that he would take just a few minutes to finish his work in Bombay House and that it was a non-working day in the business district with very low traffic, he decided to take liberties to park his Mercedes in an otherwise no parking zone.

    A conscientious traffic cop noticed all this, and he immediately rushed to Russi who had started sauntering towards the Bombay House entrance. In a gruff voice the Havaldar asked Russi, "Kyun Bhai, Baap Kaa Sadak Samajh Kay Rakha Hai Kya?"

    Russi very nonchalantly replied, "Haan kuchh aisa hi hai. Aapko Angrezi Padhna Aata Hai Kya?"

    Then he gently held the Havaldar's arm and walked him to the kerbside, and pointed to the metal sign of the road.

    He asked the cop, "Kya Likha Hai?"

    The cop said, "Sir Homi Mody Street."

    A mischievously smiling Russi discloses, "Wo Mera Baap Tha."
  • The Final Journey

    As the old man lies dying in the bedroom, out in the parlor the family discusses funeral arrangements.

    Son Gary says, "We'll make a real big thing out of it. We'll have five hundred people. We'll order fifty limos."

    Daughter Grace says, "Why do you want to waste money like that? We'll have the family and maybe a few friends. One limo just for us."

    They proceed. Grandson Jeff says, "We'll have lots of flowers. We'll surround him with dozens of roses and lilies, dozens and dozens."

    Daughter Alice says, "What a waste! We'll have one little bouquet, that's enough."

    Suddenly, the voice of the old man is heard, wafting weakly from the bedroom, "Why don't you get me my pants? I'll walk to the cemetery."
  • Things Could Be Worse

    A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle.

    But is not only that mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and for his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want.

    In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it.

    Don't worry Mom, I'm 16 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'll visit, so you can know your grandchildren.

    Your daughter,
    Lisa

    PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the school's report card that's in my desk's drawer... I love you!
  • Holiday At The North Pole

    A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are having a holiday at the North Pole. The blonde's weight is 110 pounds, the red's is 130 pounds, the brunette's is 150 pounds. One day, the three of them are having a trip on a sleigh.

    Suddenly, they see a polar bear behind them. Quickly, they throw out all the luggage behind them, but this doesn't help.... the bear comes closer.

    They realize that one of the three will have to sacrifice herself so that the 2 others will be able to escape.

    "You should do it," the blonde says to the brunette. "The bear will need more time to eat you then to eat me or the redhead."

    "I guess you're right," the brunette says.

    She jumps out of the sleigh and gets killed by the bear.

    "Thank God for my brains," the blonde says, but the bear reopens the chase.

    "Now it's your time, red," the blonde says. "Your weight is bigger than mine."

    "I guess you're right," the red says and she also jumps out and gets killed.

    "Thank God for my brains," the blonde says. But still the bear won't stop hunting the sleigh.

    The blonde really gets mad and she cries out, "You stupid animal!! Just wait a minute!! I'll take my gun and I'll blow you to pieces!!!"