• Chess is Haram

    Saudi Arabia is banning chess, calling it Haram. Reasons are:

    1. Queen doesn't wear burkha.

    2. Queen roams freely wherever it wants.

    3. Queen is more powerful than King.

    4. Queen alone goes to other army's side.

    5. And... Most importantly there's only one queen...
  • Not Again!!!

    After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably.

    I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper.

    After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them.

    Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife.

    "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. It's me."
  • Play Your Age

    A lady is having a bad day at the table in Monte Carlo.

    Down to her last Pound 100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

    A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

    He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!

    Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

    He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

    "I don't know, she put everything on number 24 and when 36 came up, she screamed and then fainted."
  • Medical Students

    Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.

    One of the students said to his friend, "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

    The other student says, "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."

    Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

    The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what you think."

    One of the students said, "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought.... but you are wrong."

    Then the other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought.... but you are wrong.

    So they asked him, "Well, what do you have?"

    The old man said, "I thought it was GAS... but I was wrong.
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