• Munna Bhai in Jail

    In Jail...
    Sanjay Dutt: Jailer Sahab, Mujhe Phir Se Baapu Dikh Rela Hai!
    Jailer: Kidhar?
    Sanjay Dutt: Wo Udhar, Dhoti Mein.
    Jailer: Abe Asaram Baapu Hai Wo!!!

    Akbar and one Gujju were best friends.
    The Gujju went to a Masjid for the 1st time with Akbar.
    Akbar enters the Masjid and says: Allah hu Akbar......
    Gujjubhai Thodi Der Sochne Ke Baad: Allah, Hu Jignesss Patel.....

    Biwi: Wo Saamne Sharabi Dekh Rahe Ho ?
    Pati: Husband: Haan! Kyun, Tum Jaanti Ho Us Ko?
    Biwi: Haan. 10 Saal Pehle Maine Use Shaadi ke Liye Inkaar Kiya Tha. Aur Woh Aaj Tak Pee Raha Hai.
    PATI: Baap Re...... Itna Lamba celebration!!!

    A couple went to an Art Gallery. Ther was a picture of a girl covered only by Leaves.
    Husband was watching.
    Wife: Ghar abhi chaloge, Ya Hawa Aane tak rukoge!!!

    A man went to the marriage hall to reserve wedding date...
    Office was closed and he read the following Notice outside the office:
    "Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm... you may use this time to think again."

    When a woman loves you, you are a husband......
    When many women love you, you are an actor......
    When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol......
    When thousands of women love you, you are a leader........
    But When all the women in the city love you, then you are a Best Paanipuri wala.
  • Avoid Ice...

    Beer and ice will give you hangovers.

    Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.

    Rum and& ice will ruin your liver.

    Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.

    Gin and& ice will ruin your brain.

    Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth

    Apparently ICE is lethal!!! Warn all your friends: LAY OFF THE ICE! Just drink it straight!!!

    Copy and paste this immediately. You could save a life!!! AND, don't forget ice also sank the Titanic!
  • Company Policy

    Start with a cage containing five apes.

    In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water. This continues through several more attempts.

    Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes all try to prevent it. Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

    Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

    After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes, which have been sprayed with cold water, have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not? Because that's the way they've always done it and that's the way it's always been around here.

    And that's how company policy begins....
  • Pappu at His Best

    Principal: School Ka time 8 baje Ka Hai Aur Tum 9 Baje Aa Rahe Ho?
    Pappu: Sir Aap Na Mera Intezar Na Kiya Karo, Apne Time Se School Shuru Kar diya Karo.

    Santa: Oyee ! Tumne Apni Sagai Kyun Tod Di ??
    Pappu: Papa, Uska Koi Boyfriend Nahin Tha.
    Santa: To Phir Problem Kya Hai ?
    Pappu: Jo Aaj Tak Kisi Ki Nahin Ho Saki Wo Meri kya Hogi.

    Pappu Apni Gali Ke Ek Dukandar Se: Uncle Rang Gora Karne Waali Cream Hai???
    Dukandar: Haan Hai.
    Pappu: Toh Lagate Kyun Nahi, Main Roz Aapki Shakal Dekhkar Darr Jata Hun?

    Pappu: Daadi Neend nahi Aa Rahi. Hum Kuc Baate Karein?
    Daadi: Theek Hai.
    Pappu: Daadi Kya Hum Hamesha 5 Hi Rahenge? Aap, Mom, Dad,Main aur Behen.
    Daadi: Nahi Beta aapki shaadi Ho Jayegi Toh 6 Ho Jayenge.
    Pappu: Fir Behen Chali Jayegi Shaadi Karke Toh Phir 5 Ho Jayenge.
    Daadi: Beta Phir Aapka Beta Ho Jayega Toh 6 Ho Jayenge.
    Pappu: Phir Aap Mar Jaaogi Toh Hum Wapas 5 Ho Jayenge.
    Daadi: Kaminne, Kutte, Haramkhor... Soja Chup Chaap.