• Family Planning Lesson

    Annie, 6 years old, gets home from school. She had her first family planning lesson at school.

    Her mother, very interested, asks, How did it go?"

    "I nearly died of shame!" She answers!

    "Why?" Her Mother asked.

    Annie said, "Kate from down the road, says that the stork brings babies.
    Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
    Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

    Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed?"

    "No... well that's how I felt when I had to tell them that we were so poor.... that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"
  • Some Indian Puns

    Laxman to Seeta: Stay offline`

    My watch is stuck between 2 and 2.30. It's a do or dhai situation.

    Jaya to Abhishek, spotting Amitabh in a rickshaw, "Rickshey Mein toh Woh Tumhare Baap Lagte Hai."

    Potato after 3 hours of interrogation by cops: 'Main batata hun, main batata hun.....

    A well executed theft without leaving any finger prints is a stainless steal.

    Sita, on Hanuman's arrival in Lanka: Yahoo! Messenger...

    Friends pay restaurant bills on a de-tu-de basis.

    'I laughed yesterday' in Hindi: 'Michael Hussey'

    Jackky, Life Mein Kitni Bhi Problems Aa Jaye Tum Kabhi Bhagnani.

    Elderly lady asked me the way to the temple. I replied 'Magistrate'.

    Me: Excuse me! Beer Ke Saath Kuch Complementary Toh Do..."
    Waiter: Nice Shirt, Saabji!

    Rahul Dravid's wristwatch, is technically a Wall Clock.

    Arsenal Naam Hi Galat Hai. Na- Se- Nal Hota Hai!

    Toll Booths are nothing but Bill Gates.

    Weed, tobacco, paper, filter: Joint family.

    What's the way to the cemetery?
    Go straight and take the last rite.

    God never tasted any cough syrup, because Khuda-na-Khasta.

    Go straight, then take the last rite.

    Vishwanathan Anand always gets tense, when the waiter brings in the folder and says 'Check!'
  • When You are Drunk

    Things that are difficult to say when drunk:
    1. Innovative
    2. Preliminary
    3. Proliferation
    4. Cinnamon

    Things that are very difficult to say when drunk:
    1. Specificity
    2. Anti-constitutionalistically
    3. Passive-aggressive disorder
    4. Transubstantiate

    Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk:
    1. No thanks, I'm married.
    2. Nope, no more booze for me!
    3. Sorry, but you 're not really my type.
    4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
    5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
    6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
    7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
    8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
    9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
    10. I must be going home now , as I have to work in the morning.
  • Green Leaf Salad!

    I called my Arab friend home for a traditional 'Onam Sadya' (traditional lunch).

    The Arab friend asked me: Is the Onam lunch Veg or Non veg?

    I told him: It's Vegetarian, are you coming?

    He said he would come. And he came and sat for the 'Sadya' (lunch).

    I placed the traditional big banana leaf and a glass of water in front of him to serve the Onam lunch, and went inside to bring the Onam meal.

    When I came back, my Arab friend ate the big banana leaf and drank the water, and said: Masha Alla... Thamam... This is the first time I have ever eaten such a big leaf as 'Salad'...