• Hilarious Santa

    Pappu Ko Fire Brigade Main Naukari Mil Gayi.
    Ek Lady Ne Call Kiya: Hello Mere Ghar Par Aag Lagi Hai
    Pappu: Apne Pani Daala....??
    Lady: Haa, Par Aag Bujhi Nahi.
    Pappu: Pagal, Fir Hum Aa Kar Kya Karenge. Hum Bhi To Pani Hi Dalenge Na.

    Self Confidence at its Peak...
    Santa writes to SBI : My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank.

    Santa Ne Blood Test Karwaya. Result Aaya A+
    Result Dekhkar Santa Ko Bada Achraj Hua Aur Vo Sochne Laga Ki Saali Kamyaabi Tog Rag-Rag Mein Daud Rahi Hai... Phir Saala School Mein Hamesha C Kyun Milta Tha...

    Santa Apni Shaadi Ki Saalgirah Pe Jeeto Ko Gulaab Dete Hue Bola: O Darling... Happy Annirversary!
    Jeeto: Yeh Nahin, Mujhe Sone Ki Cheeez Chahiye.
    Santa: Oh, Achcha, toh Ye Lo Pillow Aur Araam Se So Jao.
  • The Proposal!

    He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.

    This 60th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.

    Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

    After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!"

    The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.

    He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.

    As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No?'

    "Why you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes I will.' And I meant it with all my heart."

    The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

    Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
  • Einstein's Attire

    Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work.

    "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there."

    When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit.

    "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"
  • Those Blond Men

    A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: Did you find the shampoo?
    He answers: Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine.

    A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
    "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
    The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
    The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."

    A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND"
    He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

    A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
    "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

    A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
    "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
    "Hanging myself," the blond replies.
    "The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
    "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

    An Italian tourist asks a blond man: Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?
    To which the blonde man replies: If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."