|Number 9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.|
Number 8. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6. Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes make him a sandwich.
Number 5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2. In the 60's, people took drugs to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take antidepressants to make it normal.
Number 1. Life is like a jar of mirchi chutney. What you enjoy today might burn your ass tomorrow...
and as someone recently said to me: Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long...!!!
|A friend asked a gentleman why he never married?|
Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was a girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."
"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.
"Unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect man."
Sanjay Dutt: Jailer Sahab, Mujhe Phir Se Baapu Dikh Rela Hai!
Sanjay Dutt: Wo Udhar, Dhoti Mein.
Jailer: Abe Asaram Baapu Hai Wo!!!
Akbar and one Gujju were best friends.
The Gujju went to a Masjid for the 1st time with Akbar.
Akbar enters the Masjid and says: Allah hu Akbar......
Gujjubhai Thodi Der Sochne Ke Baad: Allah, Hu Jignesss Patel.....
Biwi: Wo Saamne Sharabi Dekh Rahe Ho ?
Pati: Husband: Haan! Kyun, Tum Jaanti Ho Us Ko?
Biwi: Haan. 10 Saal Pehle Maine Use Shaadi ke Liye Inkaar Kiya Tha. Aur Woh Aaj Tak Pee Raha Hai.
PATI: Baap Re...... Itna Lamba celebration!!!
A couple went to an Art Gallery. Ther was a picture of a girl covered only by Leaves.
Husband was watching.
Wife: Ghar abhi chaloge, Ya Hawa Aane tak rukoge!!!
A man went to the marriage hall to reserve wedding date...
Office was closed and he read the following Notice outside the office:
"Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm... you may use this time to think again."
When a woman loves you, you are a husband......
When many women love you, you are an actor......
When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol......
When thousands of women love you, you are a leader........
But When all the women in the city love you, then you are a Best Paanipuri wala.
|Beer and ice will give you hangovers.|
Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.
Rum and& ice will ruin your liver.
Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.
Gin and& ice will ruin your brain.
Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth
Apparently ICE is lethal!!! Warn all your friends: LAY OFF THE ICE! Just drink it straight!!!
Copy and paste this immediately. You could save a life!!! AND, don't forget ice also sank the Titanic!