|1) .....While seasoning, if you put few drops of whisky, the oil doesn't burn.|
2) .....While kneading dough, put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown.
3 .....If you add a few drops of vodka in paneer, it will not spoil in summer time.
4) .....Putting red wine in dal will enhance the taste.
If you can't manage the above,
5) .....Pour 4 pegs in your husband's mouth, then it doesn't matter how you cook....
6) If point 5 is not possible... then you drink 2 pegs. It doesn't matter what he thinks...
|Wife sent a message to her husband:|
Don't forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, and Savita says hi to you.
Husband: Who is Savita ?
Wife: Nothing, I was just making sure that you read my message or not.
Twist in the tale.....
Husband: But I'm with Savita, which Savita are you talking about ?
Wife: where are you....?
Husband: Near vegetable market.
Wife: Wait, I will come there.....
After 10 minutes she texts her husband 'where are you?'
Husband: I m at office, now buy whatever vegetables you need...
|A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.|
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"
|On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition, "This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly."|
The doctor then began listing orders:
"You must give an injection in a different location every twenty minutes followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours. He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of water every twenty-five minutes and must void between.
"Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day. Give range of motion every thirty minutes. He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times.
"Chart his condition and vital signs every twenty minutes. You must do these things exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and he will not able to play golf well."
The nurse left the doctor and entered the patient's room. She was greeted by anxious family and an equally anxious patient. All asked the nurse what the doctor had said about the patient.
The nurse started, "The doctor said that you will live." Then quickly reviewing the orders, the nurse added, "But you will have to learn a new sport."