• Raffle Ticket

    I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a raffle ticked for a brand new car.

    When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me.

    But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car.

    We all cried especially me... because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity... and my dad beat the crap out of me again
  • Dummy Partner

    Once Mrs. Aggarwal was being cross examined in Court by a lawyer.

    Mrs. Aggarwal had said that she was a partner in her husband's firm, but the lawyer of the opposite party was trying to prove that she was only a dummy partner (for reducing income tax).

    The lawyer kept asking her what exactly she did for the firm.

    At first she hee'd and hawed, but ultimately, when the lawyer kept repeating his question, she said in exasperation: Tum Itne Bewaqoof Vakeel Ho.... Itna Bhi Na Samajh Paye? Mera Kaam Hai Firm Ke Liye Partners Produce Karna.
  • Dirty Magazines!

    An army major called his wife to tell her that he would be late home because dirty magazines had been found in the barracks and the soldiers responsible were facing serious disciplinary action.

    "The punishment sounds a little harsh," she said.
    "After all, most of the soldiers have pictures of women on the walls of their quarters."

    "No Honey..." the major explained patiently, "Dirty magazines means the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned properly!"
  • Men Are So Simple

    Women are fickle minded.
    At 18, they want handsome men.
    At 25, they want successful men.
    At 30, they want sensible men.
    At 40, they want mature men.

    Men are very simple.
    At 18, they want pretty young girls.
    At 25, they want pretty young girls.
    At 30, they want pretty young girls.
    At 40, they want pretty young girls.
    At 50, they still want pretty young girls.

    See... Men are so simple minded.