1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.
2. Someone is "Driving" since 5 days! I guess he reached Dubai!!!
3. Someone's status is "Happy" since 1 Month. Living in Paradise???
4. Someone is always 'Available'. How free Are you?????
5. From first day their status is, 'Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp' I Know ! That's why you're on my list!
6. Someone writes "urgent calls only". Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service?
7. Someone says, "Can't talk. Whatsapp only". Dude then throw away your phone.. You are not using the phone's Primary function 8. Someone is 'at d movies' for the past 6 weeks. Either he owns d theatre or sells popcorn there....
A business man got on an elevator.
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T"
She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank God, It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered, "S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'"
A Russian, visiting India, went for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows the letters on the board:
Doctor: Can you read this ?
Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy..., he's my cousin.
You are convinced that chirping birds are Satans pets.
Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to stay still.
Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint.
Youd rather have a pencil jammed up your nose than be exposed to sunlight.
You set aside an entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet.
You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
All day long your motto is, Never again.
You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed.
Your natural response to Good morning, is Shut up!