• Old Men Are Not Stupid

    A Girl was with her father when she saw her Boyfriend coming:

    Girl: Have you come to collect the book titled "DADDY IS AT HOME?" by O Pamuk

    Boy: No, I want that book of hymns called "WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FORYOU?"

    Girl: I don't have that one but may be you should take the other one titled "UNDER THE MANGO TREE" Girish K

    Boy: Fine, but don't forget to bring the new Retail Management guide "CALL YOU IN 5 MINUTES" while coming to school.

    Girl: I will also bring you a new one titled"I WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by C. Bhagat

    Dad: Those books are too many, will he read them all?

    Girl: Yes Dad, he is very smart & intelligent.

    Dad: Okay don't forget to give him the one on the table titled "OLD MEN ARE NOT STUPID" by Robin Sharma!
  • Treating Depression

    Doctor Depression Ke Patient Se: Ji Mam, Bataiye, Kya Takleef Hai?

    Lady Patient: Doctor Sahab, Dimaag Mein Bahut Hi Ulte-Seedhe Vichaar Aate Hain, Rukte Hi Nahin.

    Doctor: Kab Aate Hai, Yeh Ulte-Seedhe Vichaar Aur Kahan Aate Hai?

    Lady Patient: Doctor Ji, Kabhi Bhi Aa Jaate Hain.... Aur Kahin Bhi...

    Doctor: Achcha Batao Kaise Vichaar Aate Hain?

    Lady Patient: Abhi Ki Hi Baat Lo... Jab Main Yahan Aayi Toh Aapke OPD Mein Ek Bhi Patient Nahin Thaa. Toh Main Sochne Lagi Ki Doctor Sahab Ke Paas Koi Bhi Patient Nahin Hai... Inki Kamai Kaise Hogi... Aur Kamaai Nahin Hogi Toh Ghar Kaise Chalega. Itna Paisa Kharch Kiya Hoga Studies Pe... Ab Kya Karenge.. Hospital Banaane Mein Bhi Bahut Paisaa Lagaya Hoga, Ab Loan Ki EMI Kaise Bharenge ? Apne Bachchon Ki Studies Ki Liya Kahan Se Paisa Layenge... Kahin Kisanon Ki Tarah Suicide Toh Nahin Kar Lenge... Ek Din...!! Bas Doctor Sahab Aise Hi Kuch Bhi Vichaar Aate Rehte Hain Man Mein...

    Ab Doctor Depression Mein Hai.
  • Ask a Bong!

    Ask a Bong about life in general, and he would break into a sentimental rhapsody...
    In nineteen sebenty phibe, howen I owaas seben eaars old, I owaas chased by a beeg stray dog, and I litarally ran across da Howrah Breej in fipteen sekends. I think I ran phastaar than Carl Leewis! Had tha gobharment chosen me phor 100 mitaar race in Olimpic, I would hab brought a Gold Medel phor Bharot!

    Ask a Bong if he smokes or drinks...
    Smoking? Only waan packet paar day. Uills Classic. Modira? O... I am bhery selectib about drinks. I prephaar only Old Monk Raam or Tich-arse Choice huiski. Naathing else. No beer teer or bhodka phodka. And waan peg only bephore dinnar. Aare Robithakur himselp wrote about huiski.
    Deshe onnojoler holo ghor onoton.... Dhoro huiski soda aar moorgi moton! Hahahaha.
    You know... littil bit of drinking is actuaali good for haart! And shaala my wife daas not allau me to drink more. Bheri alaart..... hahahahaha!!!

    Enquire about his passions...
    Phutball. I laabh phutball. Mohon Bagan. I jaast laabh their green and howite outphit! Howen I waas in college, I played phor their B team. And then shaala I got married...that ruined my dreem of playing phor Mohon Bagan. And cricket?...Cricket is jaast hopeless. No team ephort! Ebhrybody wants to do adbhartisement!!!

    And on fidelity...
    It is bhery important to be phaithphul in marriage. We hab so meny phimale colleagues. Iit is so easy to be dibharted! Baat, you maast show discipline eour selph. So, my rule of thaamb is - abhoid eye contact. All contacts begin uith eye contact. So, when you are talking to a phimale colleague, don't ebhaar look into the eyes... look elsewhare... I mean look aaway.

    And finally, whom does he actually admire...
    Mai-kell Jaksaan (aha-bechaara), Ronaaldino, Maradona, Ko-peel Deb, Maadhuri, Omitabb, Shourob, Shochin, Mollika Sheraoaat (uff), Mondira Bedi, Bhibh Richaard, Shakira (ufff...mairee!), Aambani, Bipasha, and meny more... shob shalaar naam ki mone thakey!
  • Ouch! That Hearts - RIP

    With the bad food, the dogs in the image are badly trained and even tried to do some bad things to their owner.

    When old Mr. O'Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O'Leary called the undertaker aside for a private little talk.

    "Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald," she confided, "and he'd never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they're through paying their last respects."

    "Rest assured, Mrs. O'Leary," comforted the undertaker, "I'll fix it so that toupee will never come off."

    Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O'Leary's corpse quite a going-over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place.

    At the end of the day a delighted Mrs. O'Leary offered the undertaker an extra thousand dollars for handling the matter so professionally.

    "Oh, I couldn't possibly accept your money," protested the undertaker. "After all... what's a few nails?"