• Stinky Revenge

    After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things. While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the shrimp and resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    The husband came back, with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad. They tried everything; cleaned & mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went.

    Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The Moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home. Including, of course... the curtain rods!
  • Claude Magic Show

    It was opening night at the Orpheum and The Amazing Claude, The Magician, was the headliner. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist in one of his few live performances.

    As Claude took to the stage, he declared, "Unlike ordinary hypnotists who invite two or three people onstage, I will hypnotize each and every member of tonight's audience!"

    Claude withdrew from his pocket the beautiful antique pocket watch that had been in his family for generations. As the watch swung gently back and forth, Claude chanted, "Watch the watch. Watch the watch. Watch the watch."

    The spotlight tightened on just his hands, the mesmerized crowd stared, the light gleamed off its polished surfaces, back and forth, back and forth, until it slipped from Claudes fingers, fell to the floor, and broke into smithereens.
    "SHIT!" said the hypnotist, under his breath. It took three weeks to clean up the theater!
  • The Viva Exam

    Two engineering students are waiting to give their oral viva test. The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside.

    External: Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

    Student: I will open the window.

    External: Great, now suppose that the area of the window is1.5 sq.m and the volume of the compartment is 12 m3, the train is travelling at 80 km/hr in a Westerly direction and the speed of the wind is 5 m/s from the South, then how much time will it take for the compartment to cool down?

    The student can't answer, so he is marked fail and he comes out. After coming out he tells that question to the second student.

    The second student goes in and his viva starts.

    External: Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

    2nd Student: I will remove my coat.

    External: It still is hot, then what?

    Student: I will remove my shirt.

    External (angrily): If it still is hot, then what will you do?

    Student: I will remove my pant.

    External (Fuming): And what if you die due to the heat?

    Student: Mar jaunga par window nhi kholunga.
  • RIP and Happy Birthday!

    A funny example of how big groups work, where most people don't know each other personally. A thing to learn.

    One day someone greeted a friend on a WhatsApp group with 'Happy Birthday Chetan'. Then the others in the group realized that 'today is Chetan's birthday'. Immediately the group flooded with birthday greetings.

    Each one fulfilled his / her duty immediately. Some started sending greetings in Marathi, some in Hindi, some in English, some in Sanskrit and some with stickers, GIFs, etc. Within a few minutes the group had a festive atmosphere. Many of them did not even know who Chetan was and how he looked.

    In the afternoon, the same group reported that 'Sadanand's father has passed away tragically. Immediately there was a flood of sadness on the group. From RIP, messages to 'how we are all with Sadanand in such a sorrowful time' started coming.

    Now at this time, some members were confused how to wish Chetan happy birthday. But they found a way.
    A smart race began to greet Chetan on his birthday and a tribute to Sadanand's father.

    Now It was evening, and it was time for many to 'light the lamp'. So one great personality of those, wrongly wished Happy Birthday to Sadananda and paid tribute to Chetan's (surviving) father.

    Later, those who had just opened the WhatsApp group (without reading the previous message) consoled Chetan (of his 'surviving' father's death), while wishing Sadanand 'Enjoy such joyous moments in your life every year ' (to whom his father had died today).

    One went to extreme and sent a two-minute audio recording consoling Chetan and requested other members to observe two minutes of silence.

    Some even demanded from Sadanand: "brother .. we want a party today."

    Many people have not yet understood why both Chetan and Sadanand suddenly left the group that evening, even after so much efforts by the group members...