• Safe Sex

    A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed.

    The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.

    Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"

    Grandpa replies, "Nope."

    Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"

    Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."
  • A round of drinks

    Banta was not home at his usual hour, and his wife, Preeto, was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was Banta, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

    "Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.

    He answered, "Don't get excited. I'm late because I bought something for the house."

    Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"

    Banta's answer was, "A round of drinks!"
  • Thai Restaurant

    Thai Restaurant
    Santa and Banta, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant.

    While looking at the menu, Banta noticed Santa looking at the vegetarian section of the menu.

    "What would you like Santa?" he asked.

    "I’m looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish," Santa replied.

    "Santa, you like meat and potatoes. You won’t like that dish," Banta said.

    "What do you know," answered Santa, "I'm getting it."

    "Santa, I'm telling you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy. You won’t like it!" Banta exclaimed.

    "I’m getting it and that is the last word!" says Santa.

    A short while later the meals arrive at the table.

    Santa looks down and his dish and says to Banta, “Where are my eggs?”
  • Breast Stroke

    Breast Stroke
    There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.

    One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.

    After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight.

    "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead.

    "There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette.

    "No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait. Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view.

    Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde, "What took you so long?"

    "What do you expect? You guy's cheated, replied the idignant blonde, "You used your hands!"