• Dhongi Baba and Pappu

    Pappu Ko Apne Khet Mein Tubewell Lagwana Tha Per Usko Smajh Nahin Aa Raha Tha Ki Kahan Lagwaye. Tabhi Wahan Se Ek Baba Ji Gujre. Pappu Ne Socha Ki Kyun Na Baba Ji Se Pucha Jaaye.

    Baba Ji Saare Khet Mein Ghoomte Hain Aur Thodi Der Ke Baad Ek Kone Mein Haath Rakh Kar Bolte Hain Ki Beta, Yahan Laga Le Tubewell Aur Batane Ke 1100 Rs Maang Liye.

    Pappu Samajh Gaya Ki Ye Dhongi Baba Hai Lekin Bechara Kuch Bol Nahi Paaya Aur Chupchaap 1100 De Diye.

    Phir Achcnak Pappu Babaji Se Bola: Babaji Mein Bahut Khush Hun... Aap Mere Ghar Chalo Aur Khaana Khaake Ke Jaana.

    Baba Ji Ne Socha Ki Aaj Toh Murga Phas Gaya... Aur Haan Kar Di.

    Pappu Apni Patni Ko Phone Karke Se Bola: Mein Aur Ek Babaji Aa Rahe Hain Khaane Pe, Kuch Paka Lo Aur Ek Katore Mein Neeche Desi Ghee Aur Upar Chawal Daal Dena.

    Patni Boli: Lekin Ghee Toh Uppar Hota Hai.

    Pppu Bola: Aaj Tu Ghee Neeche Rakhna.

    Thodi Der Mein Pappu Babaji Ko Lekar Ghar Pahunch Jaata Hai Aur Uski Patni Khaana Laga Deti Hai.

    Babaji Chawal Wala Katora Dekh Kar Bole: Beta, Ismein Ghee Toh Hai Hi Nahin...!!!

    Pappu Toh Isi Baat Ka Intezaar Kar Raha Tha, Aur Usne 2-3 Thappad Laga Diye Baba Ji Ke Aur Bola: Baba, Tune Khet Mein 100 Foot Neeche Paani Dekh Liya Per Katori Mein 3 Inch Neeche Ghee Nahin Dikha???
  • Thousand Salutes!

    A youngster got posted to FM Sam Maneckshaw's unit when Sam was the CO.

    This youngster was on his rounds when one of the riflemen did not notice him and missed saluting him. The youngster got cheesed and called out to the Gorkha and asked him the reason for not saluting.

    The Gorkha innocently gave out the reason that he did not see "Leftent Huzoor".

    The youngster not convinced, punished the Gorkha to a thousand salutes.

    The soldier immediately started saluting.

    Sam who was passing by, asked the youngster as to what was happening.

    The youngster said, "Sir this soldier had the audacity of not saluting me. So I have punished him with 1000 salutes."

    Sam replied, "Bloody good punishment young man. But ensure that you return each of his salutes."

    For the next two hours the unit was treated to a scene of a Gorkha saluting, and the young officer returning each of his salutes.

    Respect, is a two way street.
  • Shaadi Ki Stages

    Married Life Ki First Stage:
    Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui Hai. Husband Office Jaane Se Pehle Shave Kar Raha Hai Aur Shave Karte Karte Usko Blade Lag Jaata Hai. Uske Munh Se Halki Si Aaah Nikalti Hai.
    Nayi Naveli Patni Kitchen Se Bhaagti Hui Aati Hai Aur Puchti Hai: Kya Hua ???
    Pati Bade Hi Normal Tareeke Se Kehta Hai: Kuch Nahin Darling, Blade Se Halka Sa Cut Lag Gaya.
    Patni Jaldi Se Dettol Laakar Laga Deti Hai Aur Bade Dukhi Se Swar Mein Boli: Kitna Saara Blood Nikal Gaya. Aaj Aap Office Mat Jayiye, Ghar Pe Rest Kijiye. Ghar Se Hi Kaam Kar Lijiye Laptop Se... Hai Ram Kitna Dard Ho Na Raha Hoga?

    Married Life Ki Second Stage:
    Ab Bachche Ho Jaate Hain. Husband Roz Ki Tarah Office Jaane Se Pehle Shave Kar Raha Hai Aur Shave Karte Karte Usko Blade Lag Jaata Hai.
    Husband Hone Wale Dard Se Bhi Tez Chillaya: Ufffff... Menuuu.... Blade Se Cut Lag Gaya.
    Aap Bhi Na!!?? Itne Saal Ho Gaye Aapko Shave Banate Banate Per Abhi Tak Aapko Dhang Se Shave Karna Nahin Aaya. Ye Lo Phitkari, Laga Lo. Main Aapka Aur Bachchon Ka Khana Ready Kar Rahi Hun. Patni Jhallate Hue Phitkari Patakte Hue Wahan Se Chali Gayi.

    Married Life Ki Third Stage:
    Bachchon Ki Marriage Ho Chuki Hai. Husband Retire Ho Chuke Hain Lekin Aur Unhe Abhi Bhi Subah Shave Karne Ki Aadat Hai. Aur Aaj Phir Shave Karte Karte Unko Blade Lag Jaata Hai.
    Haiii... Mar Gayaaaa......!!! Arey Pappu Ki Mummy Kahan Hai Tu ?
    Kyun Chilla Rahe Ho Itna Gal Phaad-Phaad Kar... Blade Hi Laga Hai Koi Talvaar Toh Nahin Lagi? Kitni Baar Kaha Hai Ki Ab Apne Aap Shave Mat Kiya Karo. Naai Se Karwa Liya Karo Per Tumhe Toh Is Budhaape Mein Bhi Jawaan Banne Ka Bhoot Chada Rehta Hai. Almari Mein Dettol Ya Phitkari Padi Hogi Laga Lo.
  • Dam Fish!!!

    There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

    A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

    The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

    The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

    His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

    The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.

    When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

    His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the f*cking potatoes!"
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT