• Wine is Better than Water

    A Glass of Wine Better than Water

    To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine and those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand:

    As Ben Franklin said:
    In wine there is wisdom,
    In beer there is freedom,
    In water there is bacteria.

    In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces.

    In other words, we are consuming one kilo of poop annually. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

    Remember: Water = Poop,
    Wine = Health

    Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of Shit.
  • One Liners about India

    If you want to know how divided we are, just look at matrimonial page of our newspaper!

    India is running the software of tomorrow on the hardware of yesterday.

    If the mobile gets spoiled blame the child, if child gets spoiled blame the mobile.

    If someone asks for dirty cloth to clean something you are in India.

    The only country where people fight to be termed 'Backward'.

    In India, you don't cast your vote, you vote your caste.

    An incredible country where actors are playing cricket, cricketers are playing politics, politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors!- vicious circle indeed.

    Sarcasm is like electricity, half of India doesn't get it.

    And where liking a Facebook post and sending messages on WhatsApp gets you arrested, while raping does not.
  • Black or White???

    "Is this the girl you are going to marry?"

    "Yes dad. Isn't she pretty?"

    "She is dark. I can't even see her face clearly."

    "It's a dark photograph dad. Trust me, her face is visible enough."

    "Where is she from?"

    "Panjim. Goa."

    "Definitely not Sikh. Hindu?"

    "Atheist, but yes, her parents are Hindu."

    "Hmmm... Can't she use fairness creams? You are milky white. You both together will look like a black and white film."

    "We will look good together, like a chess-board. Don't worry dad."

    "Will you feel comfortable taking her as your bride back to our hometown? Beautiful Punjabi Girls back home in Jalandhar, and here you are stuck with this black girl."

    "Chill dad. You want some ice-cream?"

    "I shouldn't. You know I have Diabetes... but I guess one scoop won't do much harm."

    "Vanilla or chocolate? Okay sorry for my stupidity. Vanilla of course?"

    "What? No, I want chocolate."

    "But vanilla is what you must have dad. It's white."

    "What difference does the color make?"

    "Exactly dad."
  • Chinese Food!

    A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order Chicken Surprise. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

    "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

    He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

    Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

    "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

    The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

    "Ahh so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."