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Pricey 'Tomato' Jokes

With the rising prices, tomatoes are the latest to become the butt of jokes online. With the vegetable costing as much as Rs. 70-100 per kg, no wonder people are venting their frustration on social media....

Tomato hits the 100 rupee mark in a week, declared Blockbuster!

There are only two kinds of people in India: One who can afford tomatoes and the others who can't.

Heard a noted politician has deposited 100 kg tomatoes in his Swiss bank account.

Acche din have finally arrived: Petrol gets cheaper than tomatoes!

Sign board at a tomato vendor: We accept all kinds of credit cards!

Hamein dahej mein kuch nahi chahiye, hum toh bas itna chahte hain ki aap baraatiyon ka swaagat 'tomato soup' se karein.

Instruction from Central Government to all restaurants: People ordering for tomato soup need to produce their PAN card.

Husband tells wife: I've been recently upgraded from a Platinum card to Tangy card that gives a 10% cash back on tomato purchases.

Government has extended the deadline for filling tax returns to 31st August, tomato purchases can now be claimed. Issued in public interest.

Blind Pilot ???

A woman was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"

The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe Max would Like to stretch his legs." Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story...
Have a great day and remember...... Things aren't always what they appear to be.

Parachute Jumping

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.

He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

If Gods were in IT World

Brahma: System installer

Vishnu: System operator

Shiva: System programmer

Narad: Data Transmitter

Yama: Deleter

Apsara & Rambha: Virus

Ganapati: Anti virus

Hanuman: E-Mail

Chitragupta: Hard Disc

Saraswati: Internet explorer

Parvati: Mother Board

Lakshmi: ATM

Quotes

Think thousand time before taking a decision, but never turn back even if you get thousand difficulties after such decision.

Trivia

"Zoodles" are noodles made out of zucchini.

Graffiti

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.