|A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.|
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's like a completely different place--the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
"Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but I have to tell you that God never turned up for work on one single day!"
|It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:|
No answer was heard again.
The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.
|An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral.|
Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there.
About two months later a priest saw the old man out there with his dog and decided to go talk to the old man.
"Hello there. You know, we see you come out here every day to visit your wife's grave and we just think that so sweet. We were all wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you."
"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"
|At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith.|
"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and I had to either give it all to God's work or give nothing at all.
"So at that moment, I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today."
When he finished and moved toward his seat, there was an awed silence.
As he sat down, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said to him, "I dare you to do it again."