• My Computer!!!

    Pappu rings a call centre and complaining about his Internet.
    Pappu: My internet is not working properly.
    Officer: Ok, Double click on "My computer"
    Pappu: I can't see your computer.
    Officer: No no, click on "My computer" on your computer.
    Pappu: How can I click on your computer from my computer?
    Officer: Listen, There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer. Ok double click on it.
    Pappu: What the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?
    Officer: Double click on your computer.
    Pappu: On which Icon I've to click.
    Officer: My Computer.
    Pappu: Oh you fool......
    Tell me where is your office. I'll come there and click on your "Computer."?
  • Wife's Q&A

    You ask your wife something and she says, "Wahan Rakha Hai."
    This "Wahan" can be either:
    1. On the table.
    2. Or any of th 26 drawers in kitchen.
    3. Or Antarctica..!!!

    When wife say, "Woh Laa Do..."
    It can be:
    1. Her Lipstick.
    2. Or milk from market.
    3. Or An AK 56..!!!

    When wife says, "Yeh Kya Hai..??"
    It can be:
    1. Your Pyjamas on the floor.
    2. Or beer 6-pack in fridge.
    3. Or a Drone flying over Afghanistan!

    When wife says, "Tumhe Kabhi Kuch Samajh Nahi Aata..."
    It can be about:
    1. A new mushy WhatsApp message.
    2. Or Einstein's Theory of Relativity.
    3. Or her latest spending spree in Mall...!

    When wife says, "Ab Bohut Ho Gaya..."
    It can be :
    1. The mascara she is putting.
    2. Or the amount of Anthrax that needs to be put in a Biological Weapon.
    3. Or the latest spat she had with your mother.

    And....when wife says, "Main Kaisi Lag Rahi Hoon?"
    It's GAME OVER.
    It doesn't have any meaning... except confirmed annihilation.
    It just puts you in a fix which Arjun had faced.... just before the War started...... in Mahabharata... as to whether you should follow Dharma ....or Karma...!!!!
  • Celebrities Express

    Some new trains have been announced in the name of celebrities....

    Modi Express: Will not stop anywhere till it reaches the destination.

    Bappi Lahiri Express: Pull chain, another chain will be seen behind it.

    Ekta Kapoor Express: Will come three times on the same platform in slow motion.

    Amir Khan Express: Will run once in a year and pick the passengers as per its choice.

    Salman Khan Express: Can run on footpath.

    Manmohan Express: One and only silent train.

    Dhoni Express: 95% journey @ 10km/hr and remaining 5% @ 400km/hr.

    Mamata Express: Train will run in the opposite direction of destination. Rahul Gandhi Express: Will get derailed repeatedly.

    Congress Express: An experienced driver in each coach, driver Of engine on leave.

    Amit Shah Express: Covers the whole country except Delhi.

    Kejriwal Express: Sure to start but no guarantee it will reach destination... could stop midway if driver decides to abandon train.

    And finally, Indian Railways Ka Shaan.

    Rajnikant Express: Train will remain static at one place and stations will come and go...
  • Santa in USA

    Ek Baar Santa USA Ghumne Gaya. Wahan Ek Din Jab Santa Shopping Kar Raha Tha Tabhi 1 Building Mein Aag Lag Gayi.

    Santa Fire Brigade Waalon Se Bola: Tum Logon Ko Neeche Phenko, Main Sabko Catch Karunga!

    Pehle 1 Ladka Aaya, Phir Ek Ladki. Phir Ek Aadmi, Phir Ek Aurat.

    Santa Ne Sabko Pakad Liya.

    Phir Ek Negro Aaya, Toh Santa Ne Chhod Diya!!!

    Jab Fire Brigade Walon Ne Santa Se Poocha Ki Usne Negro Ko Kyun Nahin Pakda Toh Santa Bola: Abe Saalo, Jo Jal Gaye Hain Unko Toh Mat Phenko!!!