• Job Interview

    Interviewers ask questions to Pela for his new job after VRS... His answers:

    Question: Please tell us about yourself?
    Answer: Yourself is pronoun used when the subject and object of the verb are you.

    Question: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
    Answer: Asking stupid questions to candidates.

    Question: What are your expectatios?
    Answer: A Salary.

    Question: What challenges you faced in your earlier job?
    Answer: Staying awake after lunch.

    Question: Why do you want to join our company?
    Answer: Nobody else is taking me. Your company is closer to my home.

    Question: What attracts you to our company?
    Answer: The receptionist.

    Question: Which big mistake you did in the previous company?
    Answer: Got caught with MD's wife.

    Question: Why you left previous job?
    Answer: Previous company shifted office and didn't inform me the new address.

    Question: Are you willing to travel 20 days in a month?
    Answer: Yes, just don't ask me where I had gone...
  • Miscalculation!

    Banta: Doctor Saab... Pait Mein Bahut Dard Ho Raha Hai.... Aahhh...

    Doctor: Achcha Ye Batao Ki Akhri Baar Khaana Kab Khaya Tha?

    Banta: Khana Toh Roz Hi...

    Doctor: Achcha Achcha, (2 Ungli Uthathe Hue) Akhri Baar Kab Gaye The?

    Banta: Ji, Jaata Toh Roz Hun Lekin Kuch Hota Nahin Hai...

    Doctor: Theek Hai, Samajh Gaya.

    Doctor Andar Se Ek Dawai Ki Bottle Aur Ek Calculator Leke Aaya Aur Banta Se Pucha: Ghar Kitni Dur Hai Tumhaara?

    Banta: Ji Yahan Se 1 Km.

    Doctor Ne Calculator Pe Kuch Hisaab Kiya Phir Bottle Se Chaar Spoon Dawai Nikal Kar Ek Katori Mein Daal Di.

    Doctor: Paidal Aaye Ho Ya Kisi Vehicle Se?

    Banta: Paidal.

    Doctor: Jaate Waqt Bhaag Ke Jaana.

    Doctor Ne Phir Kuch Calculate Kiya Aur Thodi Si Dawai Katori Se Nikaal Li.

    Doctor: Aap Ka Ghar Kaun Se Floor Pe Hai?

    Banta: 3Rd Floor Pe

    Doctor Ne Phir Calculator Pe Kuch Hisaab Kiya Aur Phir Thodi Si Dawai Katori Se Nikaal Li.

    Doctor: Lift Hai Ya Seedyion Se Jaoge?

    Banta: Ji Seediyon Se Jaunga.

    Doctor Ne Is Baar Bhi Kuch Calculations Karne K Baad Katori Se Thodi Si Dawai Bahar Nikaal Li.

    Doctor: Ghar Ke Main Darwaaje Se Toilet Kitni Dur Hai?

    Banta: Kareeb 25 Feet.

    Doctor Ne Phir Se Kuch Hisaab Karne Ke Baad Thodi Si Dawai Katori Se Bahar Nikaal Li.

    Doctor: Ab Pehle Meri Fees De Do Aur Phir Yeh Dawai Peekar Phataphat Ghar Chale Jao, Kahin Rukna Mat Aur Phir Mujhe Phone Kar Ke Batana.

    Banta Ne Vaisa Hi Kiya.

    Takreeban Aadhe Ghante Ke Baad Bana Ka Phone Aaya.

    Doctor: Haan Banta Ji, Ho Gaya Clear Sab... Ab Dard Kaisa Hai... ?

    Banta, Ek Dum Dheeli Awaaz Mein: Doctor Ji, Sab Saaf Bhi Ho Gaya Aur Ab Bilkul Bhi Dard Nahin Hai Lekin......

    Doctor: Lekin!?!... Lekin Kya???

    Banta: Ji Aap Ki Dawai Toh Bahut Hi Achchi Thi Lekin Calculator Theek Karwa Lena Apna... Hum Takreeban 50 Metre Se Haar Gaye...
  • Golf Cheater!!!

    Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says, "Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."

    His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you."

    They embraced and kissed.

    On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation. I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me."

    The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on hers.

    He screamed and ranted, "You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul... and all these years you've been playing off the ladies' tees!"
  • Drinkers are Practical People

    A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar.

    A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes and the Lady said, "Reflect !!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ???"

    "My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."

    Moral: Drinkers are practical people. Kindly Support them !!!!