• What's in a Name?

    I recently met a Chinese man and his name was Kanna Swami.

    I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"

    He said, "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA. I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter.

    "The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee. The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked, 'What is your name?'

    He replied, 'Kannaswami.'

    "Then she looked at me and asked, 'What's your name?'

    "I said, 'Sem Ting.'"
  • Smoking While Praying

    Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?"

    "Why don't you ask the rabbi?" says Morris.

    Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, "Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?"
    "No, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!" quickly answers the rabbi.

    Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him.

    "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

    Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, "Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?"

    To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, "By all means, my good man. By all means."
  • Guys & Dolls Tournament

    A man and wife were playing in their club's annual 'Guys and Dolls' tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife insisted. On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted time on the ladies tee, he decided to go ahead and hit his drive from the men's. Unfortunately, he misjudged his shot and his ball hit his wife in the back of the head, killing her instantly.

    At the hospital the doctor came to talk to the husband. "Mr. Davies, we found a golf ball lodged three inches into your wife's brain, which was the cause of death. But, we have found something else that really puzzles us."

    "What is it?" asked Mr. Davies.

    "Well," said the doctor, "We also found a golf ball lodged six inches into her anal cavity."

    The husband dismissed the doctor with a wave of his hand "Oh, that was my second tee shot!"
  • Nice Flowers

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary.

    He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."

    His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, when he came home, kissed his wife and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"