• Magic Window

    Two guys are sitting at a bar. "You know why I love this bar?" asks the first one.

    "No," says the second guy. "Why do you love this bar?"

    The first guy points at the window, which is six stories above the ground. "It has a magic window," he says. "You jump out of that window, and you can fly."

    The second guy just shakes his head. "Shut up."

    "No," says the first guy. "It really is a magic window. I'll prove it to you."

    So the first guy gets down from his bar stool, runs at the window, jumps out of it, and flies. He flies around the building twice, up and down, and finally comes back in.

    He walks to his barstool, and takes a sip of his drink. "See?" he says.

    The second guy looks confused. He looks at his drink. "I must be drunk," he says.

    "Still don't believe me?" asks the second guy. "I'll show you again."

    He gets down from his stool, runs and jumps out of the window again. This time he performs some impressive aerial acrobatics, spins, flips, dives. When he finally comes back in, the second guy is staring at him, slack-jawed.

    "Wow," says the second guy. "A magic window." He gets off his barstool, takes a running jump out of the window, and promptly plummets to his death. The first guy starts laughing.

    The bartender comes over to the first guy with a stern look on his face. "Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk." Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2019/07/16/
  • Birmingham Arabs

    A young Arab boy asks his dad, "Wat are you wearing on your head?"

    The father said, "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun."

    "And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?" asked the boy.

    "Oh, my son!" exclaimed the father, "It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects my entire body."

    The son then asked, "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?"

    "These are 'babouches' my son," the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet."

    Son asks, "What is that black tent mom and sister are wearing ?"

    Father, "It's called a burkha, it helps the hot desert sand from hitting the face and body during a sandstorm."

    "So tell me then," added the boy.

    "Yes, my son..."

    "Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?"
  • Wall of Solid Gold

    A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most oil.

    The Alaskan Oil Tycoon said, "Listen, there is so much oil in Alaska that I could buy enough gold to build a wall of solid gold 100 feet tall and 100 feet wide all the way around the state of Texas".

    The Texas Oil Tycoon scratched his chin and adjusted his cowboy hat and said, "Well boy, I'll tell ya what...you just go ahead and build that wall, and if I like it...I'll buy it."
  • How Tall are Penguins?

    Santa walks into a bar. He asks the barman, "How tall is a penguin?"

    The barman says about three feet.

    Santa, "Don't you get any penguins taller than that!"

    The barman says, "Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that."

    Santa, "Oh shit, in that case I just drove over a nun."