• Life Insurance Beneficiary

    Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency.

    During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today for a million dollars, and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?"

    The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably a life sentence."
  • Wise Words From a Monk

    A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She hears that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk.

    "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he has left me for a young woman. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do."

    The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he asks, "Was the cookie delicious?"

    "Yes," she answers.

    "Do you want another one?"

    "Sure, please."

    The monk looks her in the eye and says, "Do you see the problem now?"

    The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speaks, "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, everything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed by that."

    The monk shakes his head, "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less."
  • Lifelong Medication

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

    "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

    "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

    There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked: 'NO REFILLS'..."
  • Umbrella Thief

    A man gave all of his four umbrellas for repair at one time and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work.

    On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him, got up and started walking.

    The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella thief."

    The embarrassed guy returned the umbrella and apologized, before getting abused and beaten up by other woman loving passengers.

    In the evening he picked up all his umbrellas repaired, put them under his arms and started walking towards home. Unfortunately the morning lady returning from work bumped into him.

    The lady commented, "Seems, you had a profitable day at work today."
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