• Two Options

    Singapore Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew, said there were two options for me:

    Either I get corrupted and I put my family in the Forbes list of the richest people in the world and leave my people with nothing.

    OR

    I serve my country, my people and let my country be in the list of the best ten economies in the world.

    I chose the second option.


    Indian politicians (most) said there were two options for us too, but the second option was already taken by the Singapore Prime Minister.
  • Speeding Fine

    A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.

    "Is there a problem Officer?"

    The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"

    The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

    "You don't have one?"

    The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."

    The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"

    "I'm sorry, I can't do that."

    The policeman says, "Why not?"

    "I stole this car."

    The officer says, "Stole it?"

    The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."

    At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"

    "She's in the boot if you want to see."

    The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

    The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"

    "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

    "Murdered the owner?"

    The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"

    The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

    The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"

    The man says, "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.

    The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."

    The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled, "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."

    The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
  • Farmhouse Hunting

    A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmers yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt.

    The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?"

    The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car.

    While walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies.

    He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."

    With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule.

    As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the passenger side.

    And, one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the Horse, , lets get out of here!!!"
  • A Strange, Strange World

    A statement of our new reality as I remembered the good old days when a snowman was just a snowman.

    8:00 AM I made a snowman.

    8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

    8:15 So, I made a snow woman.

    8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

    8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

    8:22 The transgender ma.. wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

    8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

    8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

    8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

    8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

    8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

    8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

    8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

    9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

    9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

    9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

    Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse.