• Incredible India!

    Three friends, one Indian, one British, one Saudi Arabian were talking over dinner...

    British: Why India is called Incredible India??

    Indian: I can explain.... What you would do if a newly constructed bridge breaks down crushing 20 people under it....

    British: Well, the irresponsible engineer and official would be jailed for the rest of their lives, for sure.

    Saudi Arabian: Irresponsible engineer and official would be shot or hanged in public for sure.

    Indian: we have a very different method here in India... We will take the injured to the Hospital and we beat up the doctor if anyone dies...

    British: Oh, incredible!!!
  • DNA Test

    After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

    She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.

    Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

    Husband: What's up?

    Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our child.

    Husband: Well you don't remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had wet its diapers and you said, 'Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here.'
    That's when I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.

    Moral: Never give a man a job that doesn't belong to him.
  • Death Sentence

    One day there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous look, and a another priest saw him and wondered what was wrong.

    The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong. "Well" the first priest said, "have you ever heard of a Freudian Slip?"

    "No," said the other priest.

    "Well" said the first priest, "it's when one slips and says something one is thinking usually when it is the least opportune time."

    "Oh," said the second priest, "so, what happened?"

    "Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the part when you say 'I now pronounce you man and wife'?" asked the first priest.

    "Yes?" said the second priest. "Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said was, "I now sentence you to death."
  • Alzheimer's or Parkinson's

    Ek Retired Aadmin Aksar Ek Sadhu Baba Se Milne Jaya Karte The. Ek Din Baba ji Us Aadmi Se Bole: Ab Tum Budhe Ho Rahe Ho Aur Jaldi Hi Budhape Mein Hone Waali Bimarion Mein Se Ek Bimari Tumhe Bhi Lagne Waali Hai.

    Aadmi Ne Jab Ye Suna Toh Vo Udaas Aur Kuch Pareshan Sa Ho Gaya.

    Usko Pareshan Dekh Baba ji Bole: Ghabrao Mat... Yeh Toh Vidhi Ka Vidhaan Hai... Bimari Toh Lagni Hi Hai... Mein Sirf Itna Kar Sakta Hun Ki Tumhe Apni Pasand Ki Bimari Lene Ka Mauka Deta Hun.... Haat-Paanv Kaanpna Ya Bhul Jaane Ki Bimari... In Dono Mein Se Tumhe Jo Theek Lage Vo Le Lo.

    Aadmi Kuch Decide Nahi Kar Paya aur Bola: Baba ji, Mein Duvidha Mein Hun... Kal Apne Ek Dost Se Puch Ke Bataunga.

    Aadmi Vahan Se Seedha Apne Dost Ke Ghar Gaya Aur Usko Saari Baat Batayi.

    Dost Usko Samjhate Hue Bola: Tum Na Haat-Paanv Kanpne Ki Bimari Maangna.

    Admi Ne Pucha Ki Kyun?

    Dost Bola: Dekh Bhai... Iska Reason Ye Hai Ki Agar Ek-Aadh Peg Chalak Bhi Jaaye Toh Koi Baat Nahin... Lekin.... Agar Bottle Rakh Ke Bhul Gaye Ki Kahan Rakhi Hai Toh Badi Mushkil Ho Jayegi.