Jokes Page 5

Someone was at a party when he started boasting to the local journalists that his command of English language was better than that of the average journalist's.

An editorial writer didn't take too kindly to that and said, "Well, I'll bet you $100 that I can stump you."

"I accept your wager," he said.

"I'll bet you can't use the word 'because' three times consecutively in a sentence. That is my challenge!"

After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You cannot end a sentence with the word because because because is a conjunction. You lose."

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother.

The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?"

The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?"

"Yes granddaughter, it's me."

"It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats.

"Yes, it's really me, granddaughter."

The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?"

"Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me."

The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for you."

"Anything, my child."

"Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"

Beta, which standard are you in?
-SIX

And how far is your school?
- At a distance of 10 SIXES from home.

Okay, tell me how much is a dozen?
- 2 SIXES

How many months are in a year?
- 2 SIXES

How many days are in a month?
- 5 SIXES

Umm... ok, I wanna talk to your father, can you give me his no?
- SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX!

A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.

"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."

The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced, "I'm back!"

Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."