• Passionate Kisses

    Passionate Kisses
    After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, Banta and his wife Preeto decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

    When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

    "What seems to be the problem?"

    Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

    After 10-15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.

    Afterwards, Preeto sat there - speechless. He looked over at Banta who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

    The counselor spoke to Banta, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

    Banta scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Wednesdays and Saturdays."
  • Fishing License

    Fishing License
    Banta was carrying a large fish in a bucket of water away from a lake, which was well known for its excellent fishing when a Fishery officer stopped him.

    The officer says, "Do you have a fishing license?"

    Banta replies, "Don't need a license, this is my pet fish."

    "Pet fish?" the officer asked.

    Banta answers, "Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore and I put him in his bucket and we go back home."

    "That's a bunch of baloney, fish can't do that."

    Banta looks at the officer and says, "You want me to show you?"

    Very curious now, the officer says, "O.K. I've got to see this"

    Banta pours the fish into the lake then stands there waiting.

    After a few minutes, the officer turns to Banta and says, "Well?"

    "Well, What?" Banta says.

    The Officer asks, "Are you going to call your fish back?"

    "Fish! What fish?" Banta responds.
  • Types of Girls

    Hard Disk Girls:
    She remembers everything, FOREVER.

    RAM Girls:
    She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

    Windows Girls:
    Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

    Screensaver Girls:
    She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

    Internet Girls:
    Difficult to access.

    Server Girls:
    Always busy when you need her.

    Multimedia Girls:
    She makes horrible things look beautiful.

    CD-ROM Girls:
    She is always faster and faster.

    Email Girls:
    Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

    Virus Girls:
    Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.
  • Faithful Wife

    Faithful Wife
    Santa is talking to Banta about married life.

    "You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."

    Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

    A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.

    "While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."

    Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.

    Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"

    "I have some bad news for you," says Banta.

    "The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt and then.... they turned off the light."

    "Then what happened?" says Santa.

    "I don't know. It was too dark to see."

    "Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt."