• The Blame Game

    GIRL to GOD: I don't want to marry. I am educated, independent and self sufficient. I don't need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What to do ?

    GOD replied: YOU are my finest creation and undoubtedly you will achieve many great things. But something's inevitably will not go the way you want. Some thing may go worst, some things will fail. That time whom will you BLAME?

    Will you blame yourself ?

    GIRL: NO...

    GOD: Very good... That's why you need a HUSBAND.

    BOY to GOD: But then what will I do? Whom will I BLAME?

    GOD: Your scope is much wider son. YOU can blame the govt, the education system, the legal system, the environment, the slow and fast growth of the economy, the politicians, the bureaucrats, the infrastructure, religious beliefs and even ME...

    But... NEVER EVER BLAME YOUR WIFE...
  • The Fortunate Husband

    Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife.

    After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25. Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them. Then she finally picked up one dress. It took 5 hours to finalise one dress.

    The husband settled the bill and commented, "Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time."

    Ultimate comment of wife, "Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky... you have to just sit in AC shop..." Moral: Never argue with a woman while shopping.
  • Vampire Dream

    A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her psychologist.

    Psychologist: What is your dream about?

    Blonde: I am being chased by a vampire...

    Psychologist: So, where are you in this dream?

    Blonde: I am running in a hallway.

    Psychologist: Then what happens?

    Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happens. I always come to a door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it won't budge!

    Psychologist: Does the door have any letters on it?

    Blonde: Yes.

    Psychologist: And what do these letter spell?

    Blonde: P-U-L-L.
  • Influential Positions

    One day The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.

    The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So the king and the queen went fishing.

    On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.

    The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time. I expect a huge rain storm."

    The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional.

    Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."

    So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.

    Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

    The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that... it will rain."

    So the king hired the donkey.

    And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions.