• Calf Birth

    A young boy watches his dad help birth a calf.A man was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.

    The man thought, "Great, he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun, I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."
    After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"
    "Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
  • Historical Monuments

    Teacher: Pappu, please tell me, what is India Gate?

    Pappu: Sir, India Gate is fine quality basmati rice.....

    Teacher: What is Charminar?

    Pappu: Charminar is a very popular cigarette in India and due to its low cost, it is easily affordable.......

    Teacher: What is Taj Mahal?

    Pappu: Taj Mahal is packet of tea leaves....

    Teacher: Rascal, how dare you give such bullshit answers... You are spoiling the name of national treasures....... If you want me to allow you in the classroom tomorrow, don't forget to come with your father's signature!!!!!

    Pappu: OK sir.

    Next day.....
    Teacher (looking at the table): Pappu...!!!!! You idiot!!!! How dare you bring whisky bottle inside the classroom?????

    Pappu: Sorry Sir, But you only told me to bring my father's signature today.... I simply obeyed your order...... Now again you are shouting..... this is not fair, Sir!!!!
  • Crusty Meat Pies!

    A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.

    He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and after tying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he had scored three bulls-eyes. The star prize for the evening was a large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead a consolation prize, a turtle. The drunk wandered off into the crowd.

    An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than before. Once again the showman demurred, but once again the drunk insisted, and once more scored three bulls-eyes and was given another turtle.

    Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third attempt. Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in the general direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three times. Once more he had scored three bulls-eyes. But this time there was an onlooker with good eyesight.

    "That's fantastic," the man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"

    The showman, cursing his luck, made a play of going over to the target and inspecting it closely.

    "Yes Sir!" he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic! Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this magnificent 68-piece set of glassware."

    "I don't want any bloody glasses," the drunk replied. "Give me another one of those crusty meat pies."
  • The Happiest Day

    Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.

    He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand, "Congratulations Harry! I just wanted to tell you I've been married for twenty two years, and I am sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life."

    "But sir", said Harry, a little bit confused, "I'm not getting married until tomorrow!"

    "Yeah, I know," said his boss.