|The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years.|
"Mr. Avery, don't leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!" says the Matchmaker.
"Don't bother," replies Mr. Avery, "I've two sisters at home who look after all my needs."
"That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife."
"I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were MY sisters."
|Airman Jackson was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.|
It wasn't long before Captain Haverty noticed that Airman Jackson was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.
Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jackson's sales pitch.
Jackson explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don't have a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."
"Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they're gonna send into battle first?"
|I have a girlfriend who is a police officer. When she misses me, she just comes to my house in uniform and arrests me in presence of my wife and takes me to her home till the next day.|
Then she bring me back and tells my wife, "We are not done with investigations yet. I shall pick him up anytime we want more from him."
And my innocent wife will always say, "Madam officer, God bless you for handling my husband's case with care I will make sure he is always available anytime you need him."
|I went on a job interview the other day. I wasn't really qualified but I decided to apply anyway. A week later, I became very excited when I was called in for an interview.|
At the interview, the prospective employer asked a few questions then read through my resume. After a few anxious moments, as I sat in silence waiting for him to finish reading, he put down my resume. He looked up at me and said, "We have an opening for someone like you."
"Really?" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"
"It's called the door."