|Road Crossing Instructions in Pakistan|
Look both right and left for cars, motorcycles, animals and pedestrians;
Look "up" for American drones;
Look "down" for bombs and land mines;
Look sideways and backwards for kidnappers and suicide bombers;
Hold your bags tight and watch for every person near you;
Then walk zigzag to avoid bullets.
|The skydiving instructor was going through the question-and-answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question:|
If our chute doesn't open; and the reserve doesn't open, how long would we have till we hit the ground?
The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered:
The rest of your life.
|Texas A&M Study Calls Obama 5th Best President|
From a total of 44 US Presidents, Obama is rated the 5th best. The A&M's Public Relations Office released this statement: After only 6 years in office, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best President ever.
These are the details according to Texas A&M:
1. Reagan & Lincoln tied for first.
2. Twenty three presidents tied for second.
3. Seventeen other presidents tied for third.
4. Jimmy Carter came in fourth, and...
5. Obama came in fifth.
|George decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, George and his new wife was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.|
After along period of silence she finally speaks, "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we're married I think it's time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your clubs and golf cart."
George gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong"?
George says, "There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife."
"Ex wife" she screams! "I didn't know you were married before!!!"
George retorts, "I wasn't..."