• Smart Dad!

    A girl was with her father when she saw her boyfriend coming.

    Girl: Have you come to collect your book titled 'DADDY IS AT HOME?' by Ngozi Okafor?

    Boy: No, I want that your hymns book called 'WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?'

    Girl: I don't have that one but may be you should take the other one titled 'UNDER THE MANGO TREE' by Chimamanda Adichie.

    Boy: Fine, but don't forget to bring 'I WILL CALL YOU IN 5 MINUTES' while coming to school.

    Girlfriend: I will also bring you a new one too titled 'I WON'T LET YOU DOWN' by Chinua Achebe

    Then, Farher: Those books are too many, will he read them all?

    Girl: Yes dad, he is very smart & intelligent.

    Farher: Okay don't forget to give him the one on the table titled 'I AM NOT STUPID, I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN SAYING' by Shakespeare! And also the one on the dinning table titled 'IF YOU GET PREGNANT PREPARE TO GET MARRIED' by Wole Soyinka.
  • Guide Dogs for the Blind

    There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

    The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

    The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."

    They walk over to the restaurant, the one with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.

    A man at the door says, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."

    The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

    The man at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"

    He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."

    The man at the door says, "Come on in."

    The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

    The man at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

    The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

    The man at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"

    The guy with the Chihuahua says, "What!!??!! You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"
  • Sharabiyon Ke Muhavare

    Muhavare Aur Unke Sharabic Arth:

    Haath Paanv Phoolna: Samay Pe Daaru Ka Na Milna.

    Oont Ke Moonh Mein Jeera - Daaru Kam Padna.

    Kaleja Thanda Hona - Pehle Peg Ka Gale Se Neeche Utarna.

    Munh Meetha Karna - Pehli Baar Kisi Ko Daaru Pilana.

    Haath Saaf Karna - Party Mein Bottle Ko Dheere se Paar Kar Dena.

    Neki Kar Dariya Mein Daal - Free Mein Yaaron-Doston Ko Pilana.

    Aankh Phadakna - Nasha Utar Jaana.

    Aankh Laal Karna - Ful Tunn Ho Jaana.

    Andhe Ki Laathi - Koi Free Mein Pilaane Waala Mil Jaana.

    Angaron Pe Pair Rakhna - Daaru Pee Ke Gar Jaana.

    Til Ka Taad Banana - Daaru Peekar Updesh Dena.

    Than-Than Gopal - Peene Ke Liye Paise Na Hona.

    Dum Mein Dum Aana - Peene Ke Saath Chakna Ka Jugaad Ho Jaana.

    Chaati Pe Saanp Lotna - Bina Jaankaari Ke Theke Ka Band Ho Jaana.

    Kaam Tamaam Karna - Puri Bottle Khatam Karna.
  • Best Vacation Package!

    A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun.

    He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for dinner that evening, it costs him another buck. His room is only a buck a day! The day before he's to check out, he heads out to play a last round and stops by the pro shop and charges a sleeve of three balls to his room.

    When he's checking out next morning, he looks at the bill and sees:
    Golf: $1.00
    Dinner: $1.00
    Room: $1.00.
    Sleeve of golf balls: $3,000.00

    He asks the Manager, "What is this all about? Everything is supposed to cost one dollar, and you charged me three thousand for three golf balls?"

    "I'm sorry, sir, said the manager, but you didn't read the fine print in our promotional brochure. That's what our golf balls cost."

    "Well, said the man, If I wanted to spend that kind of money, I could've gone to that luxury hotel across the street and paid them a thousand dollars a day for a room. At least I would've known what I was paying for!"

    "That's right, sir, you could have, said the manager. Over there they get you by the room. Over here we get you by the balls!"