On some Air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference... If it's a commercial flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it's an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it's a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it's an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'"
Mulla Nasruddin was round at his fiancee's home, having a serious talk with her father.
"Sir, I'd like to marry your daughter," he announced .
His girl's father looked at him.
"Have you seen my wife yet?" he asked.
"OH, YES SIR," replied Nasruddin. "BUT IF YOU DON'T MIND, I WOULD STILL PREFER YOUR DAUGHTER, SIR."
During Terrorism days in Punjab, a terrorist before his daring escape from prison, had been photographed from four different angles.
The Punjab Police sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the different police districts, with orders to notify the headquarter the moment an arrest was made.
The pictures were duly circulated in different police stations.
The next day, the the headquarter received a wireless from the ambitious Police Inspector of a remote Police Station:
"PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST!"
Banta wanted to use his ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. In frustration Banta called his bank help line.
Banta, angrily: So what's wrong with my ATM card? Girl: Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and you should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken?
Banta: Are you insane? What are You insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do.
Girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt?
Banta: Are you mad? I take very good care of my card. As a matter of fact, I even got it laminated last week when I laminated my Identity card. Girl: Did you just said LAMINATE? Banta: Of course Yes!!!