• Grandma‚Äôs Recipe

    Suzanne was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her, "Why did you cut off the end of the ham?"

    She replied, "I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to."

    Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it."

    A few weeks later, while visiting her grandmother, Suzanne asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"

    Her grandmother replied, "Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan."
  • Do It Again!!!

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically.

    He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die.

    No amount of talking was helping. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.

    In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Daddy, do it again!!!"
  • Courtroom Drama

    Scene: A court room where a person is on trial for murder.

    There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he'll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick.

    "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer says as he looks at his watch. "Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this court room," he says and he looks toward the courtroom door.

    The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens. Finally the lawyer says, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
    The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate. A very few minutes later, the jury returns and a representative pronounces a verdict of guilty.

    "But how?" inquires the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

    Answers the representative, "Oh, we did look. But your client didn't."
  • The Right & The Wrong

    Two lawyers hired a secretary from a small town in the hills.

    She was attractive, but it was obvious that she knew nothing about city life.

    One attorney said to the other, "Mary is so young and pretty she might be taken advantage of by some of those fast-talking city guys. Why don't we teach her what's right and what's wrong?"

    "Great idea,' said the partner. "You teach her what's right and I'll teach her what's wrong!"
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