• Shradhanjali Sandesh

    Condolence in future will be like this...

    Jaane Wala Bahut Hi Achcha Insaan Tha,

    Hamesha Online Rehta Tha,

    Har Ek Ki Request Accept Kar Leta Tha,

    Kabhi Bhi Apne Comments Se Kisi Ko Takleef Nahi Di,

    Iss Ki Posts Badi Hee Jandaar Aur Mazedaar Hoti Thee,

    Bade Dil Ka Malik Tha, Kabhi Kisi Ko Block Nahi Kiya,

    Dosto Ki Selfies Dil Khol Kar Like Karta Tha, Aur Bahut Hee Achche Comments Deta Tha,

    Ameero Se Share Aur Ghareebo Ko Tag Kiya Karta Tha,

    Jab Maut Aayi Tab Bhi Facebook Per Hi Baitha Hua Tha.

    Bohat Hi Achcha Aur Logon Se Ghulne-Milne Wala Banda Tha.

    Uski DP (Display Picture) Hum Sab 13 Days Tak Apne Group Main Lagayenge...! Yahi Hamari Sacchi Shradhanjali Hogi..!!!
  • Cooking Tips for Ladies

    1. While seasoning, if you put few drops of whisky, the oil doesn't burn.

    2. While kneading dough, put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown.

    3. If you add a few drops of vodka in paneer, it will not spoil in summer time.

    4. Putting red wine in dal will enhance the taste.

    If you can't manage the above, Try this... for guranteed success

    Pour 4 pegs in your husband's mouth, then it doesn't matter how you cook....
  • An Interfaith Miracle!

    I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

    The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"

    I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

    The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!

    He was not amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

    The Mullah came, took my hands and said, "Insha Allah, you will walk today!"

    I politely told him, "There's nothing wrong with me."

    The Hindu sadhu came and said, "Son, you will walk on your legs today."

    I said, "Babaji - nothing wrong with my legs"

    The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, "By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!"

    I had to tell him there was nothing wrong with me.

    After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen. I believe in all Religions now...
  • Beer Troubleshooting

    Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
    Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
    Action: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

    Symptom: Feet warm and wet.
    Fault: Improper bladder control.
    Action: Stand next to the nearest dog and complain about house training.

    Symptom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
    Fault: Glass Empty.
    Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

    Symptom: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
    Fault: You have fallen over backwards.
    Action: Have yourself leashed to the bar.

    Symptom: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
    Fault: You have fallen forward.
    Action: See above.

    Symptom: Beer tasteless and the front end of your shirt is wet.
    Fault: Mouth not open or glass applied to the wrong face.
    Action: Retire to the restroom and practice in the mirror.

    Symptom: Floor blurred.
    Fault: You are looking through an empty glass.
    Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

    Symptom: Floor moving.
    Fault: You are being carried out.
    Action: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

    Symptom: Room seems unusually dark.
    Fault: Bar has closed.
    Action: Confirm home address with the bartender.

    Symptom: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspects and textures.
    Fault: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
    Action: Cover mouth.
    Symptom: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
    Fault: Your dancing on the table.
    Action: Fall on someone cushy-looking.

    Symptom: Beer is crystal clear.
    Fault: Someone is trying to sober you up.
    Action: Punch him.

    Symptom: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
    Fault: You have been in a fight.
    Action: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

    Symptom: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
    Fault: You've wandered into the wrong party.
    Action: See if they have free beer.

    Symptom: Your singing sounds distorted.
    Fault: The beer is too weak.
    Action: Have more beer until your voice improves.
    Symptom: Don't remember the words to the song.
    Fault: Beer is just right.
    Action: Play air guitar.
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