• Awesome Santa

    Mele Mein Announcement Hui:
    Ek Bachcha Mila Hai, JIN KA HAI, Aa Kar Le Jaayein.
    Santa Bheed Se Chillata Hua Aaya: Mujhe Bhi Dikhaaaaaooo JIN KA BACCHA Kaisa Hota Hai...

    Santa: Yaar, Saamne Waale Makaan Mein Ek Ladki Har Roz Khidki Mein Se Rumaal Hila-Hila Ke Ishaare Karti Hai Per Kabhi Khidki Nahin Kholti. Ab Tu Hi Bata Yaar Kya Karun?
    Banta: Behak Mat Bhai, Vo Ladki Tukhe Dekhkar Rumaal Nahin Hilaati.... Darasal Vo Us Ghar Ki Naukraani Hai Aur Khidki Ke Sheeshe Saaf Karti Hai.

    Jeeto Ek Dibbe Mein Apne Bachche Ki Potty Lekar Test Karwaane Jaati Hai.
    Doctor: Behan Ji, Yo Potty Nahin Halwa Hai.
    Jeeto, Hairaani Se Aur Lagbhag Rote Hue: Doctor Ji, Muje Ek Phone Call Karni Hai, Badi Urgent and Important Hai... Please Doctor Saab...
    Doctor: Kar Lijiye Behanji, Koi Baat Nahi, Lekin Hua Kya???
    Jeeto: Unko Batana Hai Ki Vo Galat Dibba Office Le Gaye Hain.

    Santa Sharaab Pee Kar Jaa Raha Thaa. Raaste Main Vo Ek Saadhu Se Takra Jaata Hai.
    Sadhu Gusse Mein: Aye Murkh Mein Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hun...
    Santa: Rukiye Maharaj, Mein Glass Leke Aata Hun.
  • Reporting a Crime

    A beat cop calls the Crime Branch on telephone.

    Hello! Crime Branch?

    Yes! This is Sergeant John.

    Cop: Sir, We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.

    Sergeant: Have you arrested the woman?

    Cop: No sir. The floor is still wet!
  • Golfing Lessons

    The new golfer asked the pro, "How much for a golf lesson?"

    "They're 13 lessons for $150 or a single lesson for $1,000."

    "Why do you charge $1,000 for a single lesson yet offer a series for only $150?!"

    "If you expect to learn golf in one lesson, you're expecting a miracle. And if you're expecting a miracle, you should expect to pay for one."
  • Emergency Landing

    A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent.

    The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them. Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door.

    The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!"

    "Of course I heard you," the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!"
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