• New Supermarket!

    A new supermarket opened in San Antonio, Texas. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

    Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

    When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is the scent of freshly mowed hay.

    In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

    When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and cackling, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

    The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

    I don't buy toilet paper there anymore!
  • A Difficult Question!

    A little boy walks in to the kitchen one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper.

    "Where does poo come from?" he asks.

    The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5-year-old son is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says, "Well you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers the boy.

    "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our butts when we go to the bathroom, and that is poo."

    The little boy looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks. "And Tigger?"
  • Aaj Kal Ke Bachche

    Main Ye Sochkar TV Ke Aagey Baith Gaya Ki Aaj Ki NEWS Dekhi Jaaye. Bagal Mein Baithi Biwi Apne Daily Ke Serial Mein Kuch Is Kadar Dubi Hui Thi Ki Usko Ye Bhi Ahsaas Nahin Hua Ke Kab Main Aa Ke Uske Saath Baith Gaya.

    Tabhi Mujhe Khyaal aaya Ki Agar Is Samaye Shrimatiji Se Remote Maanga Toh Bhukamp Aa Jayega... Is Se Toh Achcha Ye Hai Ki Thodi Der Baad News Dekh Li Jaaye Ya Phir Subah Newspaper Pad Lunga. Bas Yehi Sochkar Sofe Se Uhtne Laga.

    Tabhi Hamar Chota Beta Kamre Mein Aaya Aur Yahan Wahan Kuch Dhoondne Laga. Shrimatiji Abhi BahiApne Serial Mein Gum Thi... Koi Hosh Nahin Ki Beta Bhi Kamere Mein Aa Chuka Hai.

    Maine Pucha: Kya Dhoond Rahe Ho? Kuch Kho Gaya Hai Kya?

    Beta Bola: Nahin Papa, Kuch Nahin Khoya, Main Toh Remote Dhoond Raha Haun, Match Dekhna Hai.... Kahan Hai Remote?

    Maine Shrimatiji Ki Taraf Ishaara Kiya Toh Beta Bola: Arey Papa, Aapka Nahin... TV Ka Remote Chahiye, TV Ka...!!!
  • Business is Business

    One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give 20 bucksto the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

    An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."

    The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."

    Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."

    The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

    Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."

    The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jignesh, come up here and I'll give you the 20 bucks."

    As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jignesh, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."

    Jignesh, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"