• Nissan Main Dealer

    Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.

    Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You sign! You sign!"

    Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Push off", and shuts the door in his face.

    The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"

    Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting, "Look, push off ! You've got the wrong bloke! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.

    The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinaman thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are two very large trucks full of car parts.

    This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him, "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"

    The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says, "You not Nissan MainDealer?"
  • What Have We Learned This Champions Trophy

    What Have We Learned This ICC Champions Trophy

    1. Eco Sports Mein 6 Airbags Hain Aur Ye Baat Itihaas Mein Likh Di Gayi Hai.

    2. Airtel App Mein Sab Hai. Sab Kuch.

    3. ICC CT Mein Dhoni Ne Sirf Oppo Ki Ad Mein Chakka Maara Hai.

    4. Micromax Kuch Toh Bolna Chaha Raha Tha But All We Could Hear Was a Madman Laughing.

    5. Samsung Ka 60000 Ka Phone Leke Kaun Paani Mein Kudega Batao ?

    6. Nissan Ke Ad Mein John or Shushant Hai....

    7. Term Insurance Lelo Isse Pehle Policy Bazaar Tumhara Sunaa Sunaa Ke Ticket Kaatde.

    8. Bahubali Ke Writer Star Plus Pe Kuch Toh Kar Rahe Hain.

    9. Mutual Funds Sahi Hai.

    And Last Nut Not The Least....

    10. Girlfriend Ke Ghar Perfume Lagaake Mat Jaana... Pakde Jaaoge
  • IND vs PAK - A Must Watch Match

    A man takes his seat at IND vs PAK match.

    He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat between him & the guy next.

    MAN: Who would ever miss IND vs PAK match ?

    GUY: That seat was for my wife. We have been to all INDvsPAK matches together, but sadly she passed away.

    MAN: Oh that's terrible! Sweet of you to have her here symbolically by keeping the vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets. you should have brought another family member or a friend with you?

    GUY: I tried, but they are all at her funeral!

    Men will be men
  • Don't Mess With Old Guys

    Two businessmen in New York were standing around and taking a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, and didn't even have the shelves set up.

    One commented to the other, "I bet any minute now some Jewish guy is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

    No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old Jewish man walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "Vat ya sellin' here?"

    One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."

    Without skipping a beat, the old Jewish man answered, "Must be doing well, only two left."
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