• Kissing a Nun

    There is this taxi driver in New York City, and it is nearing the end of his shift but he decides that he will pick up one more person before he turns in for the night. So he stops and pulls over and a nun gets in the car. She tells him where to go and they start off. It is a long drive and the driver keeps looking at the nun through the rear view mirror of his cab.

    Now, the nun is getting very upset by this and says, "Um... can I help you??!!"

    The taxi driver looks very embarrassed and says, "I'm sorry, it's very embarrassing, I cannot say."

    And the nun looks at him and says, "Now, my son, I have been in this business far too long to be disturbed by anything you have to say, so go ahead."

    The driver thinks for a minute and says, "Ok, well, for as long as I can remember, I have had the biggest fantasy about kissing a nun."

    She looks amused at first then replies, "Well, I think I can help you with that, but first you must promise me two things, the first is that you are a Catholic, the second is that you are single. If you can promise this, I shall give you what you ask for."

    And the driver says, "Great!! Sure I'm a single Catholic!!"

    So they pull into an alley and the nun crawls into the front seat of the cab and gives the driver an amazing kiss. Porn stars would be envious of this kiss. And they finish up and get back on the road.

    Soon the taxi driver starts looking nervous and peering at the nun in the rear view mirror again. Just staring at her, and when the nun asks him why he is staring and he says, "Well, I'm afraid I haven't been completely honest with you. You see, I'm not a catholic, and I'm also married."

    The nun smiles and says, "Well, I haven't been honest with you either... My name is Kevin, and I'm going to a Halloween party."
  • A Successful Marriage

    Recently in Bangalore a couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their 25 years of married life. Media gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their 'Happy Going Marriage'

    A TV reporter was very curious to know the secret and asked the husband, "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

    Husband Said, "We are a happy couple since marriage, thanks to our honeymoon trip to Shimla."

    TV Reporter aske, "Sir, tell us about it so that all couples can also be happy like you."

    Finally husband agreed to reveal the 'secret of the happy marriage'.

    "For our honeymoon," recalling his old honeymoon days husband said, "We had been to Shimla. The day after we both went for a horse ride. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way that horse jumped up suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said: 'This is your first time'.

    "She again got on the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again was calm and said: 'This is your second time...' and continued.

    "When the horse dropped her a third time, she just took out a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead !!

    I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?'

    She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'

    "That's it. We are happy ever after..."
  • Dining Out!

    A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.

    The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

    Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

    After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

    The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."
  • Falling-Down Drunk

    A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk.

    So the bartender says to another man in the bar, "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."

    The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times.

    They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and they stumble up the steps to his house the drunk almost having to be carried.

    The drunk's wife greets them at the door, "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"