• Not So Bright Bank Robber

    A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "This iz a stikup. Put all the munny in this bag."

    While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.

    She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

    Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.

    He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
  • Wrong Diagnosis

    An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.

    The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there's nothing I can do about it."

    The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That's impossible! That can't be!"

    The Doctor says, "What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?"

    The patient answers, "I'm no doctor but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all my other leg feels just fine."

    "So what?" says the doctor "What difference does that make?"

    "Well it doesn't hurt a bit, and it's the SAME AGE!"
  • For Your Viewing Pleasure

    A bible-thumping preacher was really getting it going one Sunday, and in the heat of the Gospel, an attractive lady leaned out of the balcony a little too far, and fell over the railing.

    As she passed the chandelier on the way down, the hem of her dress caught on part of the fixture, and she hung there with her dress pulled clear over her hips for everyone's viewing pleasure!

    The preacher, a sensitive sort, cried out, "Any man who dares to look shall be struck blind!"

    An old fellow in the front row nudged his friend and said, "I'm gonna chance it. This left eye ain't worth a damn, anyway!"
  • Treat People With Respect

    You can make a difference by how you treat people. His phone rang in church by accident during prayers. The Pastor and the worshipers scolded him after prayer for interrupting the silence.

    You could see the shame, embarrassment and humiliation on his face, as he walked out. He never stepped foot in the church ever again.

    He went to a pub. He spilled his drink by accident, the waiter apologized, gave him a napkin to clean himself up, the waiter also mopped the floor and offered him a complementary drink. He never stopped going there since.

    Kindness...... sprinkle it across!