|Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby.|
"Stop! You can't do this!" exclaims the brother.
"And why not?" asks Stan.
"Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?"
Stan says nothing.
The brother grows impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."
Stan can't take it anymore.
He gives his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asks his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?"
"Yes," the brother replies. "It would be an honor."
"Well, congratulations, you're holding him."
|An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"|
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: OH NO! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
|The lady was embarrassed and apologetic to the priest after church service was over, "Reverend, I hope you didn't take it personally, when my husband bluntly walked out of the room during your sermon."|
"Yes, I did find it rather disrespectful to the Lord," the angry preacher cursed.
"Father, I assure you It was not a reflection on your religious intelligence and abilities." The wife persisted, "You see John has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
|Ek Ameer Aurat Apni Kuch Problems Ke Chalte Ek Baba Ji Ke Paas Pahunchi Aur Unko Apni Problems Batayi.|
Baba Ji Ne Us Aurat Ki Saari Problems Ko Bade Hi Dhyaan Se Suna Aur Phir Bole: Beta... Chinta Karne Waali Ki Koi Baat Nahin Hai... In Sabhi Problems Ka Hal Ho Jayega... Lekin Kuch Kharch Ayega.
Aurat: Kitna Kharch Ayega Baba Ji?
Baba: Mein Tumse Jyada Toh Nahin Le Sakta. Puranon Ke Anusaar Hamare Kul 33 Crore Devi-Devta Hain... Tum Sabke Naam Se Bas Ek-Ek Paisa Daan Kar Do.
Aurat Ne Man Hi Man Mein Calculate Kiya Toh Baba Ke Hisaan Se Kul 33 Lakh Lage Jayenge. Lekin Vo Bhi Kaafi Tez Thi... Jhat Se Boli: Theek Hai Baba Ji... Aap Baari-Bari Se Sabka Naam Lete Jaiye Mein Ek-Ek Paisa Rakhti Jaungi.
Baba Ji Abhi Bhi Behosh Hain...