• Biwi Ka Khauf!!!

    Mandir Mein Raat Ko Bhajan Aur Kirtan Ka Programme Tha. Suresh Ka Dil Kara Raha Tha Jaane Ka Lekin Uski Patni Ne Mana Karte Hue Kaha: Tum Pata Nahi Kab Tak Aoge, Late Ho Jaoge..... Mein Kab Tak Jaagti Rahungi?

    Suresh Ne Apni Patni Ko Vishwas Dilate Hue Kaha: Mein 11 Baje Tak Vaapas Aa Jaunga... Promise.

    Patni Ji Maan Gayi Aur Kaha: Theek Hai... Lekin 11 Baje Matlab 11 Baje.

    Bhajan Sandhya Mein Suresh Kuch Is Tarah Doob Gaya Ki Time Ka Dhyan Hi Nahin Raha. Jab Suresh Ne Ghadi Ki Taraf Dekha Toh 1 Baj Raha Taha.... Suresh Ji Ki Haalat Patli Ho Gayi. Vo Chappal Haath Mein Liye Daudne Lage Aur Har Har Mahadev Bolte Gaye.

    Bhajan Sandhya Ka Mahaul Kaafi Alokik Tha... Aur Shiv Ji Bhi Vahin The. Unhone Suresh Ko Bhaagte Hue Dekha To Uski Help Ke Liye Aaye Aur Bole: Bol Bhakt, Kya Problem Hai?

    Suresh: Jai Ho Bhole Nath, Aap Mere Saath Ghar Tak Chalo. Mein Jab Knock Karoon Toh Aap Aagey Aake Sambhaal Lena, Nahin Toh Meri Patni Mujhe Aaj Mujhe Maar Dalegi.

    Shiv Ji: Vats... Tumhari Patni Tumhe Kyun Maregi ?

    Suresh: Hey Prabhu, Mein Apni Patni Ko 11 Baje Ka Bol Ke Aaya Tha.

    Shiv Ji: Abhi Kitne Baje Rahe Hain?

    Suresh: Ab Toh 1 Baj Raha Hai Prabhu.

    Ye Sunte Hi Shiv Ji Bhi Bhaagne Lage. Suresh, Badi Hi Hairaani Se Puchta Hai: Kya Hua Prabhu... Aap Kyun Bhaag Rahe Hain?

    Shiv Ji Daudte Daudte Bole: Bachcha, Mein Khud 12 Baje Ka Bol Ke Aaya Tha.

    Patni Matlab Patni... Chahe Vo Kisi Ki Bhi Ho!!!
  • Adhura Pyaar

    Kal Shaam Mein Apne Ek Dost Ke Saath Baitha Peg Laga Raha Tha. 3-4 Peg Lagane Ke Baad Vo Bhai Kuch Senti Sa Ho Gaya Aur Bola: Yaar... Kal Meri Premika Ki Beti 21 Saal Ki Ho Jayegi.

    Maine Kaha: Toh Kya?

    Vo Bola: Mera Beta Pichle Mahine 24 Saal Ka Hua Hai.

    Maine Phir Kaha: Toh?

    Vo Bola: Yaar Kuch Aisa Karo Ki Mere Bete Ki Shaadi Uski Beti Se Ho Jaye.

    Maine Kaha Us Se Kya Hoga?

    Ab Uske Dil Ki Baat Ki Gahraai Ko Dekhiye...

    Bade Bhavuk Hote Hue Vo Bola: Yaar Bahut Ichcha Thi Ki Meri aur Uski Shaadi Ho... Vo Mere Bachchon Ki Maan Bane.... Lekin Afsos... Yeh Ho Na Saka. Lekin Ab Ye Sochta Hun Ki Kisi Tarah Se Mere Bete Ki Shaadi Uski Beti Se Ho Jaaye.

    Maine Pucha Ki Vo Kyun Bhala?

    Vo Bola: Vo Isliye Ki Shaadi Ke Baad Mera Beta Apni Saas Ko Mummy-Mummy Hi Bolega Na.... Aur Kuch Nahin Toh Dil Mein Chupi Chahat Ko Kuch Toh Shaanti Milegi.
  • High Hopping Kangaroo

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence.

    He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.

    When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

    The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
  • My ITR Has Been Rejected

    My Income Tax return form has been sent back because, In response to a question for 'Number of Dependents on you?', I replied:

    "65% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 21 million illegal immigrants, 9,00,000 criminals in over 1382 prisons and above all 544+ MPs in parliament and 4000 MLA's of states.

    They said, this is not an acceptable answer.

    I am still wondering..... Who the hell did I miss out!!!