|Mr Jones drove his secretary home after she had had a little too much to drink at their new year's office party. She was sooooo drunk.|
Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife who was an insanely jealous and suspicious woman.
Later that night, Mr. jones and his wife were in the car when he spotted a high-heeled shoe under the passenger seat....
While his wife wasn't looking, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window...
Later, as they got out of the car, his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" Life of a husband is so difficult....
|An American girl was visiting England and was invited to a party. While dancing with a stuffy monocled Englishman, her necklace became unfastened and slipped down the back of her dress.|
She asked the Englishman to retrieve the jewelry piece for her.
He was very embarrassed but wishing to comply with her request he reached cautiously down the back of her gown.
"I'm terribly sorry," he said, "but I can't seem to reach it."
Try further down," she said.
At this point he noticed that he was being watched by everyone in the room which made him feel most uncomfortable and he whispered to the girl, "I feel such a perfect ass."
"Never mind that!" she cried. "Just get the damn necklace."
|India defeated Pakistan in the Champions Trophy match at Birmingham. Here are various reactions to this win:|
Pakistan Government denies that it ever sent a cricket team to Birmingham. It says the evidence provided by India is doctored. It challenges India to produce "unequivocal evidence" and not merely claim it won the match.
NDTV has supported Pakistan's claim.
Manishankar Aiyer claimed in fact Pakistan won the match.
Arundhati Roy has claimed that whilst Prima Facie there is no evidence that India defeated Pakistan, if it did so, it was a gross violation of the rights of innocent Pakistanis. She plans to go to International Human Rights Commission for getting this investigated.
Shashi Tharror has said it is an "exasperating farrago of distortions, misrepresentations&outright lies being broadcast by an unprincipled showman masquerading as a journalist". When the journalist tried to search for the meaning of Tharror's words, the computer crashed.
Nidhi Razdan meanwhile ousted Sambit Patra from the debate when he claimed that Pakistan lost the match.
Ravish Kumar could not be seen since the screen was kept black in mourning.
Kejriwal said that if Pakistan lost, it was probably due to "hacking of the scoreboard" and challenged ICC to have a rematch.
Prashant Bhushan plans to take this to Supreme Court at around 2 AM.
Inzmam Ul Haq was asked about the match. All he could say was, "The boys played well."
Rahul Gandhi said he would have to analyze the results and meditate before commenting. He is going to Bangkok for a month for the same purpose.
Akhilesh Yadav, when asked about the match first wanted to know how many players from Gujarat were in the winning team.
Arun Jaitley directly described the win as a result of demonetisation.
Amit Shah said this win is a proof that the people want BJP government in 2019.
Yogi Adityanath said Pakistan lost because it ate beef.
Trump has sent a confusing tweet congratulating India. It strangely reads: "Covfefe"
A correspondent tried to contact Arnab Goswami to know his reaction. He has since gone deaf, so we will never know Arnab's reaction.
|A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.|
As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, "Say, look at that big bunch of cows."
The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd'."
"Herd of cows."
"Sure, I've heard of cows... there's a big bunch of 'em right over there."