|Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddy bikers who worked as aircraft mechanics in Sydney. It gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so they have nothing to do.|
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and got completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he felt GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing."
"Have you farted yet?"
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Melbourne."
|Ek Baar Pappu Ki Facebook Per Ek Ladki Se Theek-Thaak Friendship Ho Gayi. Donon Roz Chat Karne Lage Karne Lage, Messages Bhejne Lage. Lekin Dono Ne Apni Koi Photo Share Nahin Ki Aur Na Hi Apna Phone Number.|
Phir Ek Din Pappu Ke Kahne Pe Dono Ne Milne Ka Programme Banaya... Din Decide Ho Gaya, Jagah Bhi Decide Kar Li Dono Ne.
Ladki Ne Pucha Ki Main Tumhe Pehchanungi Kaise?
Pappu Ne Kaha Ki Mein Counter Number 9 Ke Paas Apple Juice Peete Hue Tuhaara Intezaar Karunga.
Ab Jab Pappu Counter Number 9 Ke Paas Pahunche Toh Pata Chala Ki Apple Juice Nahin Hai. Pappu Ne Majboori Mein Orange Juice Le Liya Aur Intezaar Karne Laga.
Kuch Der Baad Ek Ladki Counter Ke Paas Aa Ke Idhar-Udahr Dekhne Lagi. Pappu Ko Thoda Idea Ho Gaya Ki Ho Na Ho Yeh Wahi Ladhi Hai, Lekin Pappu Ne Jaisa Socha Tha Ye Ladki Bilkul Bhi Vaisi Nahin Thi... Bechaare Ka Dil Udaas Ho Gaya. Pappu Ne Ladki Dekh Kar Bhi Undekha Kar Diya.
Tabhi Ladki Pappu Ke Paas Aa Kar Boli: Aap Pappu Hi Hain Na, Jis Se Milne Ki Baat Hui Thi?
Pappu: Kya Bol Rahi Hai, Andhi Hai Kya... Tujhe Ye Apple Juice Dikhai De Raha Hai Kya ???
|Two middle eastern friends are in a locker room taking a shower after their racquetball game when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his behind.|
"If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"
"I cannot", lamented the first Arab; "It is permanently stuck in my behind."
"I do not understand," said the other.
The first Arab says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came oozing out. He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."
I said, "No shit."
|On the eve of the marketing campaign for his new invention, Apple president Steve Jobs was discussing it with his top associate. Steve was just finishing up a rundown of the iPad's features when he
noticed a look of concern on the associate's face.|
"What's wrong?" Steve asked.
"It's the name, iPad," the associate hesitantly said.
"What about the name?" Steve asked.
"It... well," the associate stammered out, "It kind of sounds like a feminine hygiene product."
"What?" Steve wailed, "You think it sounds like a feminine hygiene product? That's ridiculous! It does not sound like a feminine hygiene product! The name starts with an 'i'! It sounds like a computer! Don't be stupid!"
"I'm sorry," said the associate, shrinking back a little.
"Oh, OK, don't worry about it," Steve said. "Now, listen. Marketing," he continued. "I've come to the conclusion that the price tag of my iPad is out of many people's price range, so I've decided to offer a smaller version for a cheaper price."
"That's good," said the associate. "So you'll have two versions - a smaller one and a larger one. What will they be called?"
Steve replied, "The smaller version will be called the Mini iPad and the larger version will be called the Maxi iPad."