• Not all seniors are senile

    An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

    Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered. They found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved: "I love you, Sally"

    On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

    Jerry said, "We've got to give it back."

    Sally said, "Finders keepers."

    She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

    The next day, two police officers, who were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, knocked on their door.

    "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?"

    Sally said, "No."

    Jerry said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

    Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

    The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

    One said, "Tell us the story from the beginning."

    Jerry said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday...."

    The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "Buddy, let's get out of here."

  • The Blame Game

    GIRL to GOD: I don't want to marry. I am educated, independent and self sufficient. I don't need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What to do ?

    GOD replied: YOU are my finest creation and undoubtedly you will achieve many great things. But something's inevitably will not go the way you want. Some thing may go worst, some things will fail. That time whom will you BLAME?

    Will you blame yourself ?

    GIRL: NO...

    GOD: Very good... That's why you need a HUSBAND.

    BOY to GOD: But then what will I do? Whom will I BLAME?

    GOD: Your scope is much wider son. YOU can blame the govt, the education system, the legal system, the environment, the slow and fast growth of the economy, the politicians, the bureaucrats, the infrastructure, religious beliefs and even ME...

  • The Fortunate Husband

    Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife.

    After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25. Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them. Then she finally picked up one dress. It took 5 hours to finalise one dress.

    The husband settled the bill and commented, "Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time."

    Ultimate comment of wife, "Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky... you have to just sit in AC shop..." Moral: Never argue with a woman while shopping.
  • Vampire Dream

    A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her psychologist.

    Psychologist: What is your dream about?

    Blonde: I am being chased by a vampire...

    Psychologist: So, where are you in this dream?

    Blonde: I am running in a hallway.

    Psychologist: Then what happens?

    Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happens. I always come to a door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it won't budge!

    Psychologist: Does the door have any letters on it?

    Blonde: Yes.

    Psychologist: And what do these letter spell?

    Blonde: P-U-L-L.