|After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink.|
"You can't make any noise," she warned him. "My parents are upstairs and if they find out they'll kill us."
Things started getting heated on the sofa, but after a while alcohol got the better of the man. "I have to go," he said.
"Well you can't go upstairs. The bathroom is right next to my parents' bedroom," she replied. "Use the kitchen sink."
So he dutifully retired to the kitchen.
a paper towel?"
|An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.|
"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."
"I thank thee", replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too."
"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check both when I get home."
True to her word when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would put a new one on immediately.
"Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake.
|Group admin: Hi guys, I am adding Radha to the group. Radha is new to town as well.|
Admin added +91 9xxxxxx48 to group.
Radha: Hi all....
Member # 1: Hiiiii....
Member # 2: Hi Radha... How are you?
Radha: I am fine.
Member # 3: Hey Radha... Let me know if you need any help, OK.
Radha: Definitely I shall let you know.
Member # 4: Hi Radha, I would like to meet you one day.
Radha: I am honored. Sure dear we shall meet some day over coffee.
Member # 5: what's your full name Radha?
Radha: Radhakrishnan Uplandakandathil Nair.
After 5 mins...
Radha: Guys, I am fortunate to be in your group. Nice to meet you all.
(Dead silence in the group)
|A trucker stopped at a local Denny's restaurant and placed his order.|
He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The new blonde waitress didn't want to appear stupid so she went to the kitchen and asked the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is... an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is for two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are two slices of crisp bacon. It's a special trucker version of our 'Grand Slam Breakfast'."
"Oh, Okay." said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!!"