• Do You Drink Beer?

    Lady: Do you drink beer?

    Man: Yes.

    Lady: How many beers a day?

    Man: Usually about 3.

    Lady: How much do you pay per beer?

    Man: $5 with a tip.

    Lady: And how long have you been drinking?

    Man: 20 years, I suppose.

    Lady: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be $5400 correct?

    Man: Correct.

    Lady: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

    Man: Correct.

    Lady: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
    Man: Do you drink beer?

    Lady: No... Why?

    Man: Where's your Ferrari?
  • Death in Service

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

    The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning, son."

    "Good morning, pastor," replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.

    "Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.

    Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"
  • Flight Attendant

    A man finds a beautiful girl in an airline uniform at an airport cafe sitting next to him...

    He thinks to himself: She is a flight attendant, but which airline does she work for?

    Hoping to get her attention he leans towards her and says the Jet airways slogan: The Joy Of Flying...

    She doesn't pay any attention...

    Again he leans and says the GoAir's slogan: Fly Smart... and again gets no response.

    Again he leans over to say SpiceJet's slogan: Flying For Everyone...

    This time the girl turns and says to him: Kya Takleef Hai Re Tere Ko Haramkhor???

    Man leans back, smiles and says, "Ohhh.... Air India...!!!"
  • Unused Condoms

    Group of army officers were sent to another town for training camp.

    Before leaving the rest of them decided to pull a fast one on one of the officer. They put a pack of condoms in his bag without him noticing it.

    When he got home his wife unpacked the bag and found condoms.

    When confronted he realized the joke and says, "We all got it as a gift. I didn't use mine... others did."

    For the last 2 weeks the whole cantonment is in turmoil..... Other wives are demanding details.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT