• Ouststanding!

    A man is driving down a country road, when he spots Santa standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
    He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
    The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to our Santa and asks him, "Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
    Santa replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
    "How?" asks the man, puzzled.
    "Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
  • Pathan has a Pass

    Pathan has a Pass
    One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

    At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a Pathan got on. Six feet four, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the conductor and said, "Pathan doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

    Conductor didn't argue with Pathan, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened – Pathan got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

    This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Pathan was taking advantage of poor conductor. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

    By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So, on the next Monday, when Pathan once again got on the bus and said, "Pathan doesn't pay!"

    The driver stood up, glared back at Pathan, and screamed, "And why not?"

    With a surprised look on his face, Pathan replied, "Pathan has a bus pass."

    Management Lesson: Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.
  • Motion sickness

    Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," Santa says.
    "Thought...?" Banta asks. "What do you mean?"
    "Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me," Santa says.
    "Wasn't that love?" Banta asks.
    "No, that was obsession," Santa explains. "Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."
    "Wasn't that love?" asks Banta.
    "No, that was lust," Santa replies. "And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."
    "Well, wasn't that love," asks Banta.
    "No. That was motion sickness!" Santa replies.
  • Mystery!

    Santa happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story.
    The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.
    When Santa's turn came after many attempts by others. Santa's story was of just one sentence which read "Oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child".
    Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the american whether it contained all the four ingredients! American replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:
    Oh god: religion.
    My wife: sex.
    Going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy)
    "Okay.... but where is the mystery?" asked one of the organizers.
    Santa replied: who is the father? He was the winner for writing the shortest story!