• Free Drinks!

    A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave.

    The bartender tells him that he owes $10.

    "But I already paid you. Don't you remember?" says the customer.

    "OK," says the bartender, "if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

    The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid or not.

    The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.

    The barkeep again replies, "OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

    The customer then heads outside and tells a friend how he too can get free drinks.

    The third man hurries in and begins to drink highballs.

    The bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the balls..."

    The man interrupts, "Don't bother me with your troubles.

    Just give me my change and I'll be on my way.
    Bar
  • Impact of AntiRomeo Squads

    Application To Take Wife Out For Anniverasy Dinner

    To,
    The SHO
    Police Thana Hazartganz
    Lucknow

    Respected Sir,
    I am a common man of this country, I have been married for 24 years and my 25th anniversary is coming up shortly. I had planned to take my wife out for a special anniversary dinner, all these years she has been complaining that I am not a very romantic person so I wanted to take her out for a candle light dinner where I plan to have champagne, hold her hands, look into her eyes, present her with a rose and a diamond ring, subsequently I plan to order some mutton with rice eat my dinner in peace and come back home.

    Sir, of late I have been reading in the newspapers that some Anti Romeo Squads have been made to catch rowdy elements who tease girls, Sir I think this is a very good idea and there should be no compromise on the safety and security of our girls, I have also read that just by the look in the eyes these policemen can make out who these Romeos are, and recently they caught a brother and sister sitting together and took them to the Police Station.

    Sir, even though I am not a very romantic person but just for one day I wanted to get that romantic look in my eyes to impress my wife, but Sir am scared that just by that look the Police may think I am a Romeo and arrest me. I assure you Sir that look will all be made up only for a few hours and will become normal after that. As far as mutton is concerned I will order Paneer if that is permitted and think that I am eating mutton.

    I am a law abiding, tax paying citizen of the country and hence Sir would request you to grant me permission to take my wife out for this dinner.

    Copy of my Aadhaar card, PAN card, driving licence, Passport, Identity card are enclosed for your verification please.

    Looking forward to an early reply from you Sir.

    With warm regards yours sincerely
    xxxxxxxxx
  • Root Cause Analysis

    A Management lecturer was talking about "Quality".

    Lecturer: We all know Lord Ram went to spend 14 years in forest and Sita was kidnapped because of a "quality issue".

    Student: How is this anything to do with quality?

    Lecturer: Tell me why did Sita go to forest with Ram ?

    Student: Because she was his wife and respected his every decision.

    Lecturer: OK but why did Ram go to forest ?

    Student: Because his father Dasharatha told him to do so and he never disobeyed his father.

    Lecturer: OK why did Dasharatha send his son to forest ?

    Student: Dasharatha offered his wife (Kaikeyi) two boons, and she chose to make use of them in the future.

    And she wanted her son to be king, so on the day of Rama's crowning, she asked Dasharatha to send Rama to forest and crown her son; reminding him of his promised boons.

    Lecturer: So why did Dasharatha offer his wife two boons ?

    Student: Because during a military campaign against Sambarasura, the wheel of Dasharatha's chariot broke and and kakiye inserted her finger to hold the wheel in place.

    Touched by her courage and timely service, Dasharatha offered her two boons.

    Lecturer: Hence Proved. The quality of Chariot's wheel was not up to the mark... leading to kidnapping of Sita...!!!!

    So, using the "5 why" technique we see that Quality is very important and if the quality of Chariot's wheel was good, the Ramayana wouldn't have happened!]
  • Grandma‚Äôs Recipe

    Suzanne was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her, "Why did you cut off the end of the ham?"

    She replied, "I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to."

    Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it."

    A few weeks later, while visiting her grandmother, Suzanne asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"

    Her grandmother replied, "Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan."
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