• Wise Words From a Monk

    A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She hears that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk.

    "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he has left me for a young woman. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do."

    The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he asks, "Was the cookie delicious?"

    "Yes," she answers.

    "Do you want another one?"

    "Sure, please."

    The monk looks her in the eye and says, "Do you see the problem now?"

    The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speaks, "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, everything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed by that."

    The monk shakes his head, "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less."
  • Lifelong Medication

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

    "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

    "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

    There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked: 'NO REFILLS'..."
  • Umbrella Thief

    A man gave all of his four umbrellas for repair at one time and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work.

    On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him, got up and started walking.

    The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella thief."

    The embarrassed guy returned the umbrella and apologized, before getting abused and beaten up by other woman loving passengers.

    In the evening he picked up all his umbrellas repaired, put them under his arms and started walking towards home. Unfortunately the morning lady returning from work bumped into him.

    The lady commented, "Seems, you had a profitable day at work today."
  • Highway Jerks

    One afternoon this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures him to stop.

    Our guy rolls down the window. "How can I help you?"

    "I am the Red Jerk of the Highway, you got something to eat?"

    With a smile on his face he hands one of his sandwiches to the red dressed guy and drives away.

    Not even five minutes later he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop.

    A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window, "What can I do for you?"

    "I am the Yellow Jerk of the Highway, you got something to drink?"

    Hardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a can of soda and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter what.

    To his frustration he sees another guy on the side of the road, dressed all in blue, making a hand signal to stop him. Not quite willing our guy decides to stop a last time.

    He rolls his window down and yells to the guy, "I know, you're the Blue Jerk of the Highway. But just what the fuck do you want?"

    "Driver's license and registration please."