|A co-worker told Santa that his wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with Santa's best friend.|
Worried and hurt, Santa ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true.
He came back to the office contented and relieved.
His co-worker asked him how it went.
"Look," said Santa. "Don't start such terrible rumors! That guy isn't my best friend... I don't even know him."
|An engineer was removing the engine parts from a racing car when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop.|
He went to him & said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back. So why do I get such a small salary? and you get huge sums???"
Classic reply by Doctor:
The doctor smiled at the engineer, came close to his ear and said, "Try the same when the engine is running."
The story doesn't end here.
The engineer smiled back, came close to doctor's ear and said, "I can pick any dead engine and make it alive... But can you ???"
Classic or EPIC???
|A golfer is walking down to his golf course, carrying his clubs, when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint.|
He pulls out a wedge, creeps up behind the gunman and smashes it over the back of his head, knocking him unconscious.
"You probably saved my life," says the grateful Arab. "I am a member of the Saudi Royal Family and I have the power and money to give you anything you desire as a reward."
The golfer glances at his golf bag. "Well, some golf clubs would be nice," he says.
Two weeks later, the Sheikh's secretary calls up.
We've got your golf clubs," she says, "but the Sheikh would like to apologise to you in advance: two of them don't have swimming pools."
|A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"|
"Of course, child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"