|If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility.|
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes, sir. With my life.
Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do!
Q: And do you have a locker in the room?
A: Yes, sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?
A: You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.
The courtroom exploded with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
|Dono Ki Samaantayein:|
1. Ghadi Chaubees Ghante Tic-Tic Karti Rehti Hai, Aur Patni Chaubees Ghante Kit-Kit Karti Rehti Hai!
2. Ghadi Ki Suiyaan Ghoom Phir Ke Wahi Aa Jaati Hain, Usi Prakaar Patni Ko Aap Kitna Bhi Samjha Lo, Wo Ghoom-Phir Kar Wahin Aa Jayegi Aur Apni Baat Manwayegi.
3. Ghadi Bigad Jaaye Toh Mechanic Ke Yaha Jaati Hai, Aur Agar Patni Bigad Jaaye Toh Maayke Jaati Hai.
4.Ghadi Ko Charge Karne Ke Liye Cell (Battery) Ka Prayog Hota Hai, Aur Patni Ko Charge Karne Ke Liye Salary Ka Prayog Hota Hai!
Vishamtaaiyein! - Differences
1. Ghadi Mein Jab 12 Bajte Hain Toh Teeno Suiyaa Ek Dikhaayi Deti Hain, Lekin Patni Ke Jab 12 Bajte Hain Toh Ek Patni Bhi 3-3 Dikhaayi Deti Hain!
2. Ghadi Ke Alarm Bajne Ka Fix Time Hai, Lekin Patni Ke Alarm Bajne Ka Koi Fix Time Nahin Hai!
3. Ghadi Bigad Jaaye Toh Ruk Jaati Hai, Lekin Jab Patni Bigad Jaaye Toh Shuru Ho Jaati Hai!
4. Sabse Bada Antar Yeh Hai Ki Ghadi Ko Aap Jab Chahe Badal Sakte Hain, Magar Patni Ko chah Kar Bhi Badal Nahin Sakte!
|Jeeto was very fat. She weighed 100 kilos, and she was getting heavier every month, so she went to see her doctor.|
He said, "You need a diet, Jeeto, and I've got a good one here."
He gave her a small book and said, "Read this carefully and eat the things on page 21 every day. Then come back and see me in two weeks time."
Jeeto came again two weeks later, but she wasn't thinner, she was fatter. The doctor was surprised and said, "Are you eating the things on page 21 of the small book?"
"Yes, doctor," she answered.
The next day the doctor visited Jeeto during her dinner. She was very surprised to see him.
"Jeeto ," he said, "Why are you eating potatoes and bread? They aren't in your diet."
"But, doctor," Jeeto answered, "I ate my diet at lunch time, This is my dinner."
|A large store was having its spring sale on shoes and boots. It was the first day of the sale, and the shoe department was fully of women who were eagerly trying to buy them. There were all kinds of shoes and boots in a variety of colors, and the prices had been reduced a lot, because the store wanted to get rid of as many as possible in order to make room for their new stock.|
The cashiers were kept busy, and at one moment a woman came to one of them with her money in her hand and said, "I don't need a bag, thank you. I 'm wearing the shoes I bought." She pointed to them on her feet.
"Would you like a bag to put your old shoes in then?" the cashier asked politely as she took the woman's money.
"No, thank you," the woman answered quickly. "I've just sold those to someone else."