• Golfing Lessons

    The new golfer asked the pro, "How much for a golf lesson?"

    "They're 13 lessons for $150 or a single lesson for $1,000."

    "Why do you charge $1,000 for a single lesson yet offer a series for only $150?!"

    "If you expect to learn golf in one lesson, you're expecting a miracle. And if you're expecting a miracle, you should expect to pay for one."
  • Emergency Landing

    A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent.

    The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them. Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door.

    The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!"

    "Of course I heard you," the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!"
  • Reference Books!!!

    Why do ENGINEERING students always prefer local author books than REFERENCE books???

    The local author says:
    'Jack & Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after'.

    And REFERENCE BOOK says:
    '2 humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect hydride of oxygen whose quantity is not specified. One member Jack, of rapid irregular disturbing movements encounters fatal logical gravitational error leading to complete disarray. Other member named Jill whose scope lies within disarray, descends down the geographical protuberance at an acceleration, whose magnitude is controlled by the force of gravity.' !!!
  • Facebook Ka Kamaal!!!

    Class Ke Dauraan Ek Ladke Ne Apna Facebook Account khola Aur Status Update Kia: I am using fb in Class.

    Professor Ne Us Pe Comment Kia: Class Se Nikal Jao.

    Principal Ne Professor Ke Comment Ko Like Kia.

    Dost Ne Comment Kia: Oye Cafe Aaja.

    Maa Ne Comment Kia: Nalayak Kahin Ka, Class Nahin Attend Karni Toh Sabzi Le Kar Ghar Aaja.

    Baap Ne Bhi Comment KAr Dia: Dekh Lo Apne Bete Ki Harkatein.

    Usi Waqt Girlfriend Ka Comment Aa Gaya: Dhokhe Baaz Tum Ne Toh Kaha Tha Ki Hospital Mein Hun... Daadi Aakhri Stage Par Hain Isliye Milne Nahin Aa Sakta. Aur Aakhiri Khatarnaak Commnent Bhi Padhiye...

    Daadi Ji Ka Comment: Tere Munh Min Keede Padein Haraam Khor, Main Abhi Zinda Hoon.