• My ITR Has Been Rejected

    My Income Tax return form has been sent back because, In response to a question for 'Number of Dependents on you?', I replied:

    "65% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 21 million illegal immigrants, 9,00,000 criminals in over 1382 prisons and above all 544+ MPs in parliament and 4000 MLA's of states.

    They said, this is not an acceptable answer.

    I am still wondering..... Who the hell did I miss out!!!
  • Baarish Ho Rahi Hai

    Aaj Office Se Aakar Jab Mein Bahar Apni Balcony Mein Baitha Toh Mausam Ekdum Suhawana Ho Gya Aur Baarish Bhi Shuru Ho Gayi. Maine Apni Patni Se Kaha: Arey Sunti Ho... Dekho Bahar Kya Mast Baarish Ho Rahi Hai.

    Meri Patni Jhat Se Boli: Sochna Bhi Mat... Kyunki Ek Toh Ghar Mein Besan Nahin Hai, Pyaz Bhi Khatam Hone Wala Hai Aur Sarson Ke Tail Ka Vaise Hi Kaafi Mehnga Hai... Aur Upar Se Aaj Kaamwali Bhi Nahin Aayi, Saare Bartan Joothe Pade Hain.

    Maine Apni Patni Ko Rokne Ke Liye Jaise Hi Kuch Kehne Laga Toh Usne Ekdum Se Tok Diya: Aur Haan... Daaru Ke Ke Liye Baraf Mat Maang Lena... Aaj Subah Se Bijli Ke Cut Lag Rahe Hain Aur Fridge Mein Thanda Pani Tak Nahin Hai. Vaise Bhi Bachche Bade Ho Rahe Hain.... Ye Sab Ghar Mein Bilkul Nahin Chalega.

    Mein Badi Hairani Se Ye Sab Sun Raha Tha Aur Apni Shrimati Ji Ki Taraf Dekh Raha Tha. Mujhe Apni Taraf Dekhta Paa Kar Meri Madam Ek Pal Ke Liye Ruki Aur Nakaratmak Andaaz Mein Boli: Na, Na, Na... Meri Taraf Toh Dekhna Bhi Mat, Koi Umeed Bhi Mat Rakhna.... Meri Kamar Mein Vaise Hi Dard Ho Raha Hai...

    Batao... Ab Pati Ye Bhi Nahin Bol Sakta Ki Baarish Ho Rahi Hai....
  • The Slowest Worker Ever

    A young man was a very slow worker and subsequently found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo.

    When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the keeper dropped by to see how the young man was doing and found him standing by an empty enclosure with the gate open.

    "Where are the tortoises?" he asked.

    "I can't believe it," said the new employee, "I just opened the door and whoosh, they were gone!"
  • Cuss At It

    A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon little Johnny trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.

    "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said little Johnny.

    After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"

    Little Johnny said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."

    The preacher took the mower and tried to start it. He pulled and pulled on the rope until he was dripping with sweat but the mower refuse to start.

    The preacher called little Johnny over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."

    Little Johnny said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."

    The preacher said, "I'm a man of the church and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't even remember how to cuss."

    Little Johnny looked at him happily and said, "Just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya."