• The Gossipers

    A lot of ladies used to sit together every evening in a park and talk non stop. One day they were sitting very very quietly.

    A gentleman who would walk past the noisy group every day was surprised to see them all so quiet.

    He inquired about this to which they replied, "You see, today we are ALL present, so we don't know who to gossip about."
  • Beautiful or Cute???

    There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

    His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

    His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!"

    Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful' it was 'cute.'

    She said, "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

    His reply was, "The drugs are wearing off!"
  • Work Telephones

    The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... on a Saturday morning... after breakfast...

    Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

    Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

    Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

    Maid: So, what is the problem? We all use our work telephones !!!!!
  • A Cold Day!

    There was an english man, who was singing, "There was a cold day," whilst having a shit in cinema toilets.

    Our Banta walks by and hears him singing, "There was a cold day, There was a cold day," he slam`s the door wide open.

    The englishman in a shock says, "What the bloody hell are u doin ?"

    Banta replied, "Oh, sorry ! I thought you ar saying, 'Darwaza Khol De' (open the door)."