• 5 Idiots!!!

    A King of a Kingdom called his Prime Minister and asked, like there are Brilliant people in his State will there be Idiots available?

    Minister said there will be.

    King then ordered his Minister to go around the State search and bring 5 of such Idiots and present to him in the Council.

    Minister was awestruck since you can identify brilliant people by conducting some form of competition, but how to identify Idiots. However he goes around the State and after a month comes back with 2 such people. There after following is the conversation between King and Minister.

    King: Dear Minister I think you are poor in counting, I asked for 5 people and you have brought only 2.

    Minister: Your Highness please let me explain and then you will know yourself.

    King: OK. Go ahead.

    Minister: When I was going around the State I found this guy carrying a huge Gunny Bag on his head and travelling in a Bullock Cart. When I asked he said that if he keeps the bag in the Cart it will be overloaded and hurt the Bulls. I realised he is the 5th Idiot and brought him to you.

    King: Excellent. Next.

    Minister: I saw the other guy was taking his Buffalo to the roof top of his house for grazing where grass was found grown. I realised he is the 4th Idiot and brought him to you.

    King: Fine. Next.

    Minister: When there are so many problems in the functioning of this kingdom, leaving those entire aside I have been going around the State for a month wasting my time in searching for Idiots, hence I am the 3rd Idiot.

    King: Laughs out loud. Next.

    Minister: Instead of solving all the problems that are there in the Kingdom, you have been looking for Idiots in your State, hence you are the 2nd Idiot.

    Hearing this entire Council was scared and there was pin drop silence.

    King: Fine there is truth in your statement. Who is the 1st Idiot?

    Minister: Your Highness when there are so much of work in the Office and Home to attend to, leaving all this aside person who is reading this Story to know who is the 1st Idiot in 'What's App' is the 1st Idiot.
  • Suicide... Suicide...

    Ek Wife Ne Subah Uthte Hi Apne Pati Ko Pankhe Se Rassi Baandhte Dekha, Toh Ghabrakar Pucha: Arey, Yeh Aap Kya Kar Rahe Ho???

    Husband Ne Dukhi Swar Mein Kaha: Mein Teri Roz Roz ki Naye Kapde Dilaane Ki Pharmaish Se Tang Aa Gaya Hun, Isliye Suicide Kar Raha Hun.

    Ye Sunte Hi Wife Ne Zor Zor Se Rona Start Kar Diya, Aur Boli: Jaatey Jaatey Ek White Suit Toh Dilwa Do, Varna Terahvin Pe Kya Pehanungi????
  • This Year's Best Lexphillies

    Lexophile: (Lovers of Words) is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

    A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

    ... When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

    ... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    ... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

    ... The batteries were given out free of charge.

    ... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

    ... A will is a dead giveaway.

    ... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    ... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    ... When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

    ... Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    ... Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

    ... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

    ... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    ... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

    ... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    ... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

    ... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

    ... Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
  • Pati, Patni Aur Patient...

    Patient: Doctor Sahab, Jaldi Kuch Karo, Mere Pairon Par Ek Aurat Ne Gaadi Chadha Di.

    Doctor Ne Usko Achche Se Check Kiya, Aur Paaya Ki Bahut Hi Mamuli Si Chot Hai, Par Mareez Ghabraya Hua Hai!

    Doctor Bola: Oh! Bhai Operation Karna Padega, Bahut Kharcha Aayega... Taiyaar Ho?

    Mareez: Kuchh Bhi Karo, Jaldi Karo. Kameeni Ne Mara Hua Soch Kar Uthaya Bhi Nahin!!

    Itne Mein Doctor Ki Biwi Ka Phone Aa Gaya.

    Doctor: Hellooo...

    Biwi: Hello Ko Maro Goli! Main Ek Musibat Mein Phas Gayi Hun, Jaldi Se Koi Raasta Batao.

    Doctor: Kaisi Musibat???

    Biwi: Maine Car Chalate Hue Ek Aadmi Ko Takkar Maar Di Aur Vo Shayad Mar Gaya Hai.

    Doctor: Aadmi Ne Kapde Kaise Pehen Rakhe The?

    Biwi: Hari T-shirt Aur Black Pant.

    Doctor: Oh! To Us Ko Tumne Maara Hai? Police Khooni Ko Talaash Karti Hui Ghoom Rahi Hai.

    Biwi: Toh Ab Mein Kya Karun?

    Doctor: Karna Kya Hai... 4-6 Mahine Ke Liye Maikey Chali Jao, Jaldi.

    Patni: Theek Hai Jaa Rahi Hoon.

    Mareez: Doctor Ji, Karo Na Kuch!

    Doctor: Bhai Kuch Nahin Hua Hai Tujhe... Yeh Piase Pakad Aur 4-5 Beer Le Aaa Jaldi Se... Dono Piyenge... Aur Haan, Please Ye Hari T-shirt Nikaal Ke Jaa.