• History Repeats Itself

    This is excellent... every Office goers can relate with is:

    Who is Dronacharya:
    The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.

    Who is Bhishma:
    The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence (because of some strange oath maybe)

    Who is Dhritarashtra
    The blind boss. He knows that everything is wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any changes to the current processes.

    Who is Gandhari:
    The Yes men/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend as if nothing is happening.

    The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying.

    The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses.

    The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies.

    Nakul & Sahdev:
    The good average resource. No one notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals.

    The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his work done.

    The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls take him for a snobbish nerd.

    The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail. Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely for fun.

    The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on boss's advice.

    The Ultimate Boss (MD/CEO) who knows that it is his game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too.

    Who says history never repeats itself.... ????
    Yes, It does, everyday.....in the office....
  • Men vs Women Brains

    Men vs Women Brain Analyses:

    Women's brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time. Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook.
    Men's brains are designed to concentrate on only one thing at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. They stop the TV while Talking.

    Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems.
    Men can not easily learn languages, but can easily solve problems. Which explains why on average a 3 year old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 year old boy.

    A man's brain has a lot of space for handling analytical processes. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily.
    But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.

    While driving a car, a man's spatial awareness ability is triggered in his brain. He can drive a car at high speed safely. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object's (bus or van or car) direction and speed and he drives accordingly.
    Whereas women take a longer length of time to recognize the direction/speed of oncoming vehicles.
    However a man's single process mind is easily distracted if he is listening to music in his car whilst he is driving.

    5. LYING
    When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Unlike a man's brain, a woman's brain observes facial expressions and body language.
    A man's brain does not have this function. Therefore women make more convincing liars than men.

    If a man has a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual boxes in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for long periods of time, whilst they compartmentalise their problems.
    If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems as easily. She finds actually talking to someone else about her problems, not only helps to solve them, but is essential.

    When asked, most men say that they want status, success, solutions, large sums of money, etc...
    But most Women's say their priorities are relationships, friends, family, love etc...

    If women are unhappy with their relationships, they can not concentrate on their work.
    If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relationships.

    9. SPEECH
    Women use indirect language in speech.
    But Men use direct language.

    Women talk a lot without thinking.
    Men act a lot without thinking.
  • American Customs!!!

    A China-man decides to retire and move to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a home on a small piece of land.

    A few days after moving in the friendly American neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the China-man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

    The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and see the China-man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

    A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the China-man leading a bull down the drive-way, ...pause..., and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

    The American bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the China-man and says, "Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."

    The China man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs. I doing, these American Customs." "What do you mean?" says the neighbour, "Those aren't American customs."

    Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me' replied the China-man, "He say to become true American, I must learn to... chase chicks, ... get piss drunk, and ... listen to bull-shit.
  • OLD Is When....

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot...

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.