|Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.|
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer...
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.
Men keep'a scrollin'...
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident.
By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never frickin listen, either.
|Three girls apply for a job. At the interview they are told they will have to answer a question then explain their answer.|
Gwyneth goes first and is shown a cauliflower, a potato and a knife. She is then asked which one is the odd one out and the reason why.
She ponders for a minute then answers, "The knife, because the knife is long yet the other two are round."
Her answer was accepted.
Beryl goes next and she also chooses the knife explaining that the knife was mineral while the other two were vegetable. Her answer was also accepted.
Finally, Blodwen thought for a minute after being asked the same question then replied, "The cauliflower is the odd one because you can make chips with the other two."
|A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient, was understandably nervous.|
When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped down into the patient's throat.
"Sorry," said the doctor. "You're outside my specialty now. You should see a laryngologist! (throat specialist)."
By the time the unfortunate victim got to· the laryngologist, the tooth had worked its way much further down.
The laryngologist examined the man.
"Sorry," said the doctor, "You're outside my specialty now. You should see a gastrologist! (stomach specialist)."
The gastrologist X-rayed the patient.
"Sorry," said the doctor,"the tooth has traveled into your lower intestines. You should see an enterologist! (intestinal specialist).''
The enterologist took some X rays.
"Sorry, the tooth isn't there. It must have gone down farther. You should see a Proctologist! (a specialist in diseases of the rectum; anus)."
The Proctologist's examined the patient.... inserted a proctoscope inside the..... and remarked..... "Good heavens, man! You've got a tooth up there! You should see a dentist!"
Dedicated to SUPER SPECIALTY HOSPITALS OF TODAY
|An unemployed engineer graduate was looking out for a suitable job in his stream. He attended several exams and many personal interviews, only to be rejected.|
Being fed up after so many months of his job hunt, he decided to get into any job that can satisfy his food and daily needs.
He visited a circus group and asked for a job. But the owner said that there wasn't any job for his education level. Also he said that there is a vacancy to act as a monkey and perform funny actions. The unemployed youth accepted the offer since he can at least afford his daily food.
So he dressed up as a monkey and entertained the audience. One day while he was performing the monkey skills, he accidentally fell into the lion's ring.
Everyone was shocked as the monkey fell into lion's ring. No one knew that he was a man dressed up as a monkey. The man himself was dreadful and feared for his life.
He felt pity for himself as he going to be a victim of unemployment.
The lion came closer to him but didn't attack. He was surprised.
The lion whispered, ""Arre Abdul.... Ghabra Nakko...!! Main Pasha... 2006 batch... Mechanical....."