|Football Rules When We Were Kids !!!|
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper.
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone was tired.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.
6. No referee and lines men. You could run with the ball even behindt the goal post.
7. If you don't participate in repairing the ball you were given a match ban.
8. If you're picked last, you're a loser.
9. The guy who's never picked to Play was to fetch the ball from the tree or when it got stuck under the car.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, Game Over.
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.
12. The most skillful player gets automatic selection.
|Weirdest Statements on a Medical Report
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.|
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
She is numb from her toes down.
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rayed and sent home. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.
The patient refused an autopsy.
|Apna Banta Pehli Baar Ek 5 Star Hotel Mein Gaya. Jhijhakte Hue Usne Chai Ka Order De Diya.|
Kuch Hi Minutes Mein Ek Well Dressed Aur Smart Sa Waiter Ek Kettle Mein Garam Pani, Ek Kettle Mein Garam Doodh, Kuch Chai Patti Ke Pouch Aur Kuch Sugar Cubes De Gaya.
Banta Ne Yahan Wahan Dekh Kar, Jaise Taise Chai Banai Aur Pee Lee.
Thodi Der Baad Waiter Phir Se Aata Hai Aur Banta Se Puchta Hai: Sir, Kuch Aur Lenge Aap ?
Banta Bade Hi Dissappointed Se Lahaje Mein Bolta Hai: Yaar Ichcha Toh Biryani Khaane Ki Thi But Rehne Do... Mujhe Banani Nahin Aati Aur Time Bhi Kaafi Lag Jayega...
|A brilliant set of Hindi puns:|
1. Mujhe Ek Ghante Se Auto Nahi Mili, Shayad Bhagwaan Meri paRICHKSHAW Le Raha Hai.
2. My body is in office, but my mind is SOMVAR else. #Monday Blues
3. I am feeling too lazy to meet my friends. AALSI them later.
4. Son: Rum Piyoge?
Dad: Oye Puttar 'Bacar'Di gal Na Kar.
5. If you eat fiery garlic pickle before class, you'll learn a valuable Lehsun.
6. Weight loss frustration... "Pran Jaaye Par Wajan Naa Jaye"
7. Saw a line of Hyundai Sonatas parked on an empty road. Asked someone there "Itna Sonata Kyu Hai Bhai?"
8. If Johny Depp does Devdas, there'll be Jack's Paro.
9. A daughter is the perfect child. A son is just a Beta version.
10. When in Chennai, many North Indians wonder..."Ye Kaahan Aa Gaye Hum, Yun Hee South South Chalte."
11. She is Libra I am Leo humari Jodi kuch Gemini.
12. Decided to go to a Italiyan restaurant Kyunki Woh Ghar Ke PASTA.
13. A daughter is the perfect child. A son is just a Beta version.