• Celebrities Express

    Some new trains have been announced in the name of celebrities....

    Modi Express: Will not stop anywhere till it reaches the destination.

    Bappi Lahiri Express: Pull chain, another chain will be seen behind it.

    Ekta Kapoor Express: Will come three times on the same platform in slow motion.

    Amir Khan Express: Will run once in a year and pick the passengers as per its choice.

    Salman Khan Express: Can run on footpath.

    Manmohan Express: One and only silent train.

    Dhoni Express: 95% journey @ 10km/hr and remaining 5% @ 400km/hr.

    Mamata Express: Train will run in the opposite direction of destination. Rahul Gandhi Express: Will get derailed repeatedly.

    Congress Express: An experienced driver in each coach, driver Of engine on leave.

    Amit Shah Express: Covers the whole country except Delhi.

    Kejriwal Express: Sure to start but no guarantee it will reach destination... could stop midway if driver decides to abandon train.

    And finally, Indian Railways Ka Shaan.

    Rajnikant Express: Train will remain static at one place and stations will come and go...
  • Santa in USA

    Ek Baar Santa USA Ghumne Gaya. Wahan Ek Din Jab Santa Shopping Kar Raha Tha Tabhi 1 Building Mein Aag Lag Gayi.

    Santa Fire Brigade Waalon Se Bola: Tum Logon Ko Neeche Phenko, Main Sabko Catch Karunga!

    Pehle 1 Ladka Aaya, Phir Ek Ladki. Phir Ek Aadmi, Phir Ek Aurat.

    Santa Ne Sabko Pakad Liya.

    Phir Ek Negro Aaya, Toh Santa Ne Chhod Diya!!!

    Jab Fire Brigade Walon Ne Santa Se Poocha Ki Usne Negro Ko Kyun Nahin Pakda Toh Santa Bola: Abe Saalo, Jo Jal Gaye Hain Unko Toh Mat Phenko!!!
  • Not For Sale

    A picky lady customer at a Supermarket's fruit department watches as a new delivery of fresh fruit is delivered.

    "Give me two kilo of oranges and wrap every orange in a separate piece of paper, please," the picky lady says to the saleslady.

    Silently the sales lady serves the picky customer.

    "And three kilo of apples, please, and wrap each and every one in a separate piece of paper, too."

    Gritting her teeth, the saleslady once again obliges the picky customer.

    "And what is that over there", the picky customer says as she points to a basket in the corner.

    "Grapes, says the saleslady with a big grin on her face, "but they are not for sale!!!"
  • Mian-Biwi Ke Kisse

    Husband: Tumne Pada... Akhbaar Mein Likha Hai Taaje Survey Se Pata Chala Hai Ki 25 Percent Auratein Maansik Bimari Ke Liye Medicines Leti Hain?
    Wife: Toh Ismein Khaas Kya Hai?
    Husband: Yeh Toh Bada Hi Darawani Type Ki News Hai.
    Wife: Kyun?
    Husband: Iska Matlab Hua Ki 75 Percent Ladies Bina Medicines Liy Ghoom Rahi Hain...!!!

    Biwi Ne Namaaz Padhkar Dua Ke Liye Haath Uthaye, Par Kuchh Nahin Manga Aur haath Neeche Kar Liye!
    Shauhar Yeh Sab Dekh Raha Tha, Toh Puchh Baitha: Yeh Kya? Dua Kyun Nahin Maangi?
    Biwi: Maangne Hi Lagi Thi Ki 'Allah Aapki Tamaam Mushkilein Khatam Kar De' Phir Socha, Kahin Mujhe Hi Kuchh Na Ho Jaaye!

    Patni: Aaakhir Aurat Kya-Kya Sambhaale...
    Tumko Sambhaale,
    Tumhare Bachche Sambhaale,
    Tumhare Maa - Baap Ko Fambhaale
    Yaa Phir Tumhara Ghar Sambhaale ???
    Pati, Sukun Se: Agar Aurat Sirf Apni ZABAAN Sambhaal Le Toh Baaki Sab Apne-Aap Sambhal Jaayega !!!
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