At a party, the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers.
Then her husband got an idea. He turned to the crowd of the guests and said, "Will everyone from the bride's side of the family stand up please?" About 20 people stood.
Then he asked, "Will everyone from the groom's side of the family stand up please?"
About 25 people stood up.
Then he smiled and said, "Will everyone who stood please LEAVE... This is a 'Birthday Party'!!!"
One night, Mulla Nasrudin's father noticed a light in his barn. He went to see what it was all about and he found Nasrudin with a lantern, all dressed up.
"What are you doing all dressed up and with that lantern?" asked his father.
"I am going to call on my girlfriend, Dad," said Nasrudin. "I have got to go through the woods and it is dark."
"When I was your age calling on my wife for the first time," said the father, "I went through the woods without a lantern."
"I KNOW," said Nasruddin, "BUT LOOK WHAT YOU GOT, DAD!"
College Clerk: Beta yeh form tumne galat bhar diya hai. Yahaan address nahin naam likhna tha.
Student: Vikas Puri mera naam hi hai jee.
College Clerk: Achcha aur pita ka naam ?
Student: Ji Janak Puri.
College Clerk: Achch Dadaji ka naam ?
Student: Trilok Puri.
College Clerk: Hey Bhagwaan beta jaate jaate apni maaji ka naam bhi bata do.
Student: Maya Puri.
College Clerk: Main yeh sub nahin maanta. Koi aaya he tumhare saath family se tumhari admission ke liye.
Student: Ji mera bara bhai yeh.
College Clerk: Aapka naam ?
Bhai: Govind Puri!
I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."
He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"
I said, "No, she's an optician."