• The Break Up

    The young salesman finally plucked up the courage to tell his fiancee that he was breaking off their engagement so that he could marry another woman.

    "Can she cook like I can?" asked the distraught fiancee

    "Not even on her best day!" replied the salesman.

    "Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?"

    "No, she's broke", the salesman said in agreement.

    "Well then, is this all about 'relations'?" cried out the devastated woman.

    "No, nobody does it like you babe," assured the salesman.

    "Then what is it?" she screamed "What can she do that I can't"?

    The salesman sighed, took a deep breath, looked his ex-fiancee straight in the eyes and said, "She can sue me for child support."

    And then it hit him... the four slice toaster he had bought for her the previous birthday.
  • A Very Touching Story...

    Once upon a time a small boy named Hameed lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him, "You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!"

    One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career. The mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that schoo. she even shifted to another city.

    25 years later, that teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors have advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform. Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful. When she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him some thing but in vain and eventually died.

    The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Hameed working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner.

    Don't tell me you were thinking that Hameed became a doctor...
  • Bechaara Santa!!!

    Santa Apni Wife Ke Saath Ek Party Mein Gaya.
    Thodi Der Ke Baad Wife Ne Dekha Ki Santa Ek Sundar Si Mahila Se Bahut Ghul-Milkar Muskuraate Hue Baatein Kar Rahaa Thaa.
    Wife Ne Dheere Se Santa Ke Kaan Mein Jaakar Kaha: Lautate Samay Kisi Medical Store Se Hote Hue Chalenge.
    Santa: Kyon ? Kya Lena Hai ?
    Wife: Marham-Patti Kaa Saamaan.
    Santa: Par Kis Liye ?
    Wife: Ghar Pahunch Kar Tumhaari Choton Par Lagaane Ke Liye....
    Santa: Par Mujhe Toh Koi Chot Nahin Lagi Hai !!!
    Wife: Abhi Hum Ghar bhi Kahaan Pahunche Hain....!!!!

    Ek Baar Santa Ne Socha Ki Apni Wife Ko Ek Surprise Diya Jaye Toh Usne Wife Ko Bina Bataye Nayi Car Khareed Li.
    Ghar Pahunchte Hi Santa Ne Excitement Ke Maare Darwaaje Se Hi Awaaj Laga Di: Yaar Sunti Ho, Aaj Tumhaara Barson Ka Sapna Poora Ho Gaya!
    Biwi Daudti Hui Kitchen Se Bahar Aayi Aur Shock Mein Chillai: Haye, Haye!!!! Kya Ho Gaya Saasu Maa ko?????

    Santa Apni Wife Ko Cherte Huye Bola: Maine Tumhe Bina Dekhe Shadi Ki, Can you believe that?
    Wife: Aur Meri Himmat Toh Dekho, Maine Tumhe Dekhne Ke Baad Bhi Tumse Shadi Ki.

    Santa Ki Wife Ne Ambulance Ke Liye Phone Kiya. Operator Ne Pucha: Madam, Kya Takleef Hai Aapko?
    Santa's Wife: Vo Table Ki Thokar Se Mere Pair Ki Ungli Mein Thodi Si Lag Gayi Hai.
    Operator: Ye Kya Mazaak Hai Madam!!! Itni Choti Si Baat Ke Liye Bhi Koi Ambulance Bulaata Hai???
    Santa's Wife: Nahin Bhaisaab!!! Ambulance Mujhe Apne Liye Nahin, Apne Husband Ke Liye Chahiye.... Vo Darasal Jab Mujhe Lagi Toh Unki Hasi Nikal Gayi Thi....
  • Free Hard Drinks On-Board

    A flight attendant on an Airline's cross-country flight nervously announced about 30 minutes outbound from Chandigarh, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 110 passengers on board and only 40 dinners..."

    When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited hard drinks during the entire journey in the flight."

    Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, "If anyone wants to change his/her mind, we still have 35 dinners available!!!"