|A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in preparation for selling his land, so he went to every house in his town.|
To the houses where the husband was the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the wife was the boss, he gave a chicken.
When the farmer arrived at the end of the street, he met a couple who were outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am," replied the man.
"Well, then, I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said. "Which one would you like?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one..."
"No, no, no... the brown one," interrupted the man's wife.
The farmer shook his head and remarked to the man, "Here's your chicken.
|Towards the end of a wedding, the bride's father approached the groom and said, "Son, I received your last minute WhatsApp message asking me for your wedding gift. I found your request a bit strange, but I have to fulfill your wish regardless. Here's the packet of Four Underwear you asked for."|
The groom was startled, then looked at his message again... In a rage, he smashed his iPhone on the floor...
"Bloody Autocorrect! It was supposed to be *Ford Endeavour*'!!"
|A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies.|
By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry and was not happy about the slowness of the line.
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"
"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time."
|When Little Johnny's mother found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen.|
But Little Johnny overheard some of his parents' private conversations.
One day, when Johnny and his mother were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.
"Yes!" Johnny answered, "and I know what we're gonna name it, too.
If it's a girl, we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits!