• Women and Shopping

    A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her cell phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

    The woman asked the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

    As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to hit a couple of more shops on the way to the hospital.

    She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a slice of yummy chocolate cake, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.

    Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.

    The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And taking care of him will now be your career!"

    The woman was feeling so overwhelmed with guilt she broke down and began sobbing.

    The lady doctor then chuckled and said, "I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Show me what you bought."
  • Atheist Holy Day

    In Florida, an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

    The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

    The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."

    The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

    The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

    The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned..."
  • Management Lessons from Gabbar Singh

    Gabbar Singh was a MANAGEMENT GURU as is reflected in some of the timeless management lessons he delivered thru the movie Sholay.

    1. Jo Darr Gaya Samjho Mar Gaya - Courage and enterprise are important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented business.

    2. Kitne Admi The ? - It's important to know the competition and its size. He understood that even a small team can make a difference.

    3. Arey O Sambha, Kitna Inaam Rakhe Hai Sarkar Hum Par ? - Promoting one's own brand is very important and to be reiterated always.

    4. 6 Goli, Aur Aadmi 3! - Create an illusion where his insurbodinates had a chance of survival but kills them in the next scene. Moral - Perform or perish.

    5. Le Ab Goli Kha - Sometimes in the interest of the organisation you have to take hard and unpopular decisions.... So sometimes a leader has to 'fire' some employees.

    6. Yeh Ramgarh Waale Apni Betiyon Ko Kaunsi Chakki Ka Aata Khilate Hai Re - Market research is important to understand value propositions !!

    7. Yeh Haath Mujhey Dedey Thakur - Identify elements of threats in the market and take measures to minimise them.

    8. Holi Kab Hai, Kab Hai Holi ? - Conduct advance mapping of key events within the industry and devise penetration strategy to have a competitive edge over your rivals.
  • Walking Backward!

    Every day Francesca went to the cemetery in her village to water the flowers on the grave of her deceased husband Enzo.

    When she was finished she always walked backwards when leaving the grave.

    One day her friend Bianca asked, "Francesca why do you always leave the cemetery walking backwards?"

    Francesca answered, "When Enzo was alive he always told me, 'You've got such a great ass it could bring a dead man back to life.' So I'm not taking any chances!"
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