Aurat: Baba ji, mera shohar ghar aatey hi mujhe maarna peetna shuru kar dete hain.
Baba ek taweez nikaal ke us aurat ko deta hai aur kehta hai: Woh jaise hi ghar aaye toh tum ye TAWEEZ apne daant ke neechey dabaa lena.
After 5 days...
Aurat: Baba Ji kamaal ho gaya. Taweez daant ke neechey dabane ka itna phayda hua ke ab woh mujhe kuch nahi kehte.
Baba: Ye phayda Taweez ka nahi, balki apni Zubaan band rakhne ka Hai...
This 89 year old woman was arrested for lifting.
When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"
She replied, "Can of peaches."
The judge asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. Then the judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked, the judge if he could say something on his wife's behalf. The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
Bill wasn't a very good golfer, but he sure dressed like one. He had a wicked slice that prevented him from ever reaching the green in two strokes, but on the day of the company golf tournament, no one could deny that he looked pretty sharp on the tee. That day, as usual, Bill sent his first drive deep into the woods.
"You'll never hit it out of there," his friends insisted.
"As God is my witness, I'm gonna make the green in two if it kills me," Bill replied.
With that, he smacked the ball as hard as he could. It hit the tree in front of him and came straight back, and hit him right between the eyes and he died.
When Bill appeared at the pearly gates, St. Peter looked at him and said, "Well, I can see by your outfit that you're a golfer! Are you any good?"
Bill replied, "I got here in two, didn't I?"
A teenager, who had just received her learner's licence for driving, offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.
"Thank you!" said the mother as she got out of the car and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Anytime," her daughter replied.
As the mother closed the door she said, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God."