• This Year's Best Lexphillies

    Lexophile: (Lovers of Words) is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

    A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

    ... When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

    ... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    ... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

    ... The batteries were given out free of charge.

    ... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

    ... A will is a dead giveaway.

    ... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    ... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    ... When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

    ... Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    ... Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

    ... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

    ... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    ... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

    ... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    ... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

    ... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

    ... Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
  • Pati, Patni Aur Patient...

    Patient: Doctor Sahab, Jaldi Kuch Karo, Mere Pairon Par Ek Aurat Ne Gaadi Chadha Di.

    Doctor Ne Usko Achche Se Check Kiya, Aur Paaya Ki Bahut Hi Mamuli Si Chot Hai, Par Mareez Ghabraya Hua Hai!

    Doctor Bola: Oh! Bhai Operation Karna Padega, Bahut Kharcha Aayega... Taiyaar Ho?

    Mareez: Kuchh Bhi Karo, Jaldi Karo. Kameeni Ne Mara Hua Soch Kar Uthaya Bhi Nahin!!

    Itne Mein Doctor Ki Biwi Ka Phone Aa Gaya.

    Doctor: Hellooo...

    Biwi: Hello Ko Maro Goli! Main Ek Musibat Mein Phas Gayi Hun, Jaldi Se Koi Raasta Batao.

    Doctor: Kaisi Musibat???

    Biwi: Maine Car Chalate Hue Ek Aadmi Ko Takkar Maar Di Aur Vo Shayad Mar Gaya Hai.

    Doctor: Aadmi Ne Kapde Kaise Pehen Rakhe The?

    Biwi: Hari T-shirt Aur Black Pant.

    Doctor: Oh! To Us Ko Tumne Maara Hai? Police Khooni Ko Talaash Karti Hui Ghoom Rahi Hai.

    Biwi: Toh Ab Mein Kya Karun?

    Doctor: Karna Kya Hai... 4-6 Mahine Ke Liye Maikey Chali Jao, Jaldi.

    Patni: Theek Hai Jaa Rahi Hoon.

    Mareez: Doctor Ji, Karo Na Kuch!

    Doctor: Bhai Kuch Nahin Hua Hai Tujhe... Yeh Piase Pakad Aur 4-5 Beer Le Aaa Jaldi Se... Dono Piyenge... Aur Haan, Please Ye Hari T-shirt Nikaal Ke Jaa.
  • Ponderism!

    1: Notice at Church
    Do not leave your mobile, purses, wallets, hand-bags, girlfriends unattended; others may think it is an answer to their prayers.

    2: Who is a Psychiatrist?
    Is a qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself, to which your spouse also gives it to you for free & daily too!

    3: Scotch is a brilliant Invention.
    One double and you start feeling single again.

    4: Global recession and financial crisis have become so critical and serious now-a-days that...
    The majority of men have started loving their own wives!
  • The Story of EYES!

    Do you know the relation between two eyes...???
    They never see each other... BUT

    1. They blink together.
    2. They move together.
    3. They cry together.
    4. They see together.
    5. They sleep together.
    They share a very deep bonded relationship...

    However, when they see a pretty woman, one will blink and another will not...

    Moral of the story: A pretty woman can break any relationship...