• Good Golfer!

    A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.

    He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing.

    The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him on the forehead and killed him.

    As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"

    The man replied, "Got here in two, didn't I?"
  • Aaj Ki Sachchai

    Yadi Aap Phoolon Pe So Rahe Hain Toh Ye Aapki Pehli Raat Hai;
    Aur Yadi Phool Aap Pe So Rahe Hain Toh Ye Aapki Akhri Raat Hai.
    Ajab Teri Duniya Gajab Tere Khel.

    Mombatti Jalakar Murdon Ko Yaad Kiya Jaata Hai;
    Aur Mombatti Bujha Ke Janamdin Manaya Jaata Hai.
    Kaisi Vidambana Hain Hamare Desh Ki.

    Phoolan Devi Daaku Hokar Election Jeet Gayi Aur Kiran Bedi Police Waali Ho Kar Bhi Elction Haar Gayi.

    Kitni Ajeeb Duniya Hai Ye, Yahan Auratein Dusri Auraton Ki Buraiyaan Karti Nahin Thakti;
    Jabki Aadmi Dusri Auraton Ki Tareef Karte Nahin Thakte.
    Aadmi Sach Mein Mahaan Hai.

    Humne 5 Aadmiyon Ko Beer Pilayi Aur 5 Auraton Ko Dove Lagaya.
    Aadmiyon KE Chehre Pe Jyada Rangat Thi.

    5 Things Jo Khatam Hone Pe Kaafi Problems Deti Hain.
    Dosti
    Paisa
    Pyar
    Sunday Aur
    Internet Pack
    Last Waala Toh Almost Rula Hi Deta Hai.

    Puraane Jamane Mein Jab Koi Akela Baith Ke Hasta Tha Toh Sab Kehte The Ki Us Per Kisi Bhoot-Pret Ka Saaya Hai.
    Aajkal Koi Akela Baith Ke Hasta Hai Toh Kehte Hain Ki Mujhe Bhi Send Kar De.
  • Attaining Enlightenment

    A disciple went to his guru asking for tips to attain enlightenment.

    The guru advised, "Take a mala and go up into the Himalayas and meditate."

    The disciple went away.

    Several months later, the guru paid him a visit and asked, "How do you like it up here in the snow?"

    "Just fine," replied the disciple.

    "And what about the weather? Don't you freeze?"

    "As long as I have my Mala and My Chillum, I don't care how cold it is."

    "I am glad to hear it. Can I also have a Chillum for myself right now," asked the guru, shivering with cold.

    "WHY NOT !!" said the disciple ...

    "MALA !! WOULD YOU BRING US TWO CHILLUMS ???"
  • Blind Pilots!

    An airliner is fully boarded and ready to push-off from the gate, when two blind pilots enter the main cabin.

    The pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

    The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport.

    As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

    In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "Ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
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