|Comparing World Cup teams with Academics Performance.|
India: A unpredictable student who either tops or fails miserably and has a rich daddy. Even if he fails the mother covers up by saying 'Atleast he has better marks than his other classmate called Pakistan.'
South Africa: A student who tops in units and semesters, but fails in the final exams.
Pakistan: A student who has the potential of being a topper but spends most of his time fighting and even beating other schoolmates. Either blames the teacher, paper quality of the exam paper, or fellow classmate (India) for his non-performance.
West Indies: A student who was a topper till 5th grade but currently fails in every exams. Has a tendency of not preparing for the final exams and also leaving midway from the examination hall.
New Zealand: A student who always scores a distinction but never tops the class.
Australia: A student who is always a topper and the biggest bully of the school.
Sri Lanka: A student who suddenly became a potential topper after 5th grade.
England: A rare case where the teacher is still a student who has never cleared a final exam.
|Pappu met up with his close friend Bunty and told him that he had just met the girl of his dreams. He asked Bunty for advise on how he should proceed!|
The wise and experienced man of the world, Bunty said, "Well, send her roses, and on the name card invite her for a home-cooked meal."
Pappu liked the idea, so he followed Bunty's advice and invited the woman. Next day after the dinner Bunty called Pappu and asked him how did the home-cooked dinner go.
Pappu cried, "It was a complete flop."
Bunty asked, "Why? Didn't the girl come to your house?"
Pappu replied, "She came, but she refused to cook and left angrily!"
|A pedestrian stepped off the curb to cross the street and a car suddenly came screaming around the corner and headed straight for him. He started to run, trying to get out of the way but the car changed lanes and was still coming at him.|
He turned around to go back to the curb but the car changed lanes again and was heading right for him. As the car approached, the man became so frightened that he froze and stopped in the middle of the road.
At the last possible moment, the car swerved and screeched to a halt right beside him.
The window rolled down and he was amazed to see that the driver was a large squirrel.
The squirrel looked him up and down and said, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"
|I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was, "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that," etc. It eventually became very annoying.|
I am from Niagara Falls and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the Magnificent Niagara, knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this Wonder of Water & Power.
While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes. It was then I asked him, "Do you have anything like this in Texas?"
He waited a moment before he answered, "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it."