|The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas.|
One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday. In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left.
So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church.
That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister' embarrassment.
The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches.... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
|A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn't, sent them off to get one.|
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out they had filled the names in backwards -- his where hers belonged and vice versa.
They rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and got another license. This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they catch the clerk... After five reissued licenses, the judge is finally satisfied.
Judge: I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards.
Groom: That's funny - that's just what the clerk called you.
|What is the difference between an Ordinary Thief and a Political Thief ?|
1. The Ordinary Thief steals your Money, bag, watch, gold chain etc.
But, The Political Thief steals your future, career, education, health & business !
2. The hilarious part is:
The Ordinary Thief will choose whom to rob. But, you yourself choose the Political Thief to rob you.
3. The most ironic one:
Police will chase and nab the Ordinary Thief. But, Police will look after and protect the Political Thief !
That's the travesty cum irony of our current society! And, we blindly say we are not blind !
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!"|
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you get hungry?" he said.
"Then I'll come home and eat!" bravely declared the child.
"And what if you run out of money?"
"I will come home and get some!", readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, "What if your clothes get dirty?"
"Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them," was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed, "This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!!"