|A flight attendant on an Airline's cross-country flight nervously announced about 30 minutes outbound from Chandigarh, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 110 passengers on board and only 40 dinners..."|
When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited hard drinks during the entire journey in the flight."
Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, "If anyone wants to change his/her mind, we still have 35 dinners available!!!"
|Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-side-down, so he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.|
He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen, but he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes. He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy.
"Oh my Lord," says Father Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It's a miracle... No... Wait... It's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photographs, and so on..."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared. There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Something has definitely happened which cannot be explained by Earthly means. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle and all other explanations must be ruled out. And so, unfortunately for that very reason, in this case, it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think that Murphy may have simply buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
|1. If you want to know how divided we are, just look at matrimonial page of our newspaper.|
2. India is running the software of tomorrow on the hardware of yesterday.
3. Marriages (Rest of the world) = x + y
Marriages (In India) = ∫xdx + ∫ydy
4. If the mobile gets spoiled blame the child, if child gets spoiled blame the mobile.
5. If someone asks for dirty cloth to clean something you are in India.
6. The only country where people fight to be termed 'backward'.
7. In India, you don't cast your vote, you vote your cast.
8. An incredible country where actors are playing cricket, cricketers are playing politics, politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors.
9. Sarcasm is like electricity, half of India doesn't get it.
10. And the ultimate one:
Where liking a Facebook post gets you arrested, raping doesn't.
|Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?|
Pappu: Seven Sir.
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Pappu: Because I've already got one at home.