• The Brave Patient

    A Sindhi went to a dentist for tooth extraction but first enquired about the cost. Dentist said Rs 1200, the Sindhi thought that was too much.

    After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods. The dentist said, "Yes, it can be done without anesthesia and will cost only Rs 300, but it would be very very painful."

    Sindhi said, "OK Doc, let's do it without anesthesia."

    The dentist removed the tooth without anesthesia. During the entire procedure, the Sindhi sat quietly, even smiling a little.

    The dentist was not only surprised but was quite impressed and said, "I have never seen such a brave patient. I don't even want my fees, here take Rs 500 as a reward instead, you've taught me such a powerful lesson today about mastering one's pain!!!"
    In the evening he met his fellow dentists and told everyone about this amazing Sindhi patient. One doctor jumped up and shouted, "That ×%#@ Sindhi first came to me, I gave him anesthesia and asked him to wait outside for half an hour! After half an hour when I called for him, he had left!!
  • Ex-Wife's Revenge

    After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things. While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the shrimp and resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    The husband came back, with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days.Then it started to stink, slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad.

    They tried everything; cleaned & mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went.

    Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The Moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home. Including the CURTAIN RODS.
  • How Punjabis Say It

    Punjabi is now the third language in Canada's Parliament. However, BC continues to stand for British Columbia.

    Canada govt has introduced A Crash Course in Pinglish: (Punjabi English):

    Mint - 1/60th of an hour

    Skint - 1/60th of a minute

    Seetan - many seats

    Tict - what you need to buy to watch a show alone

    Tictan - what you need to buy to watch a show with family

    Puls - law enforcement officers

    Skoorty - what Puls is supposed to provide

    Occayyun - Event, incident

    Maiyr - To determine, to measure

    Pokt - the place where you keep things in your dress

    Cloony - The housing society where you stay

    Boot - men's footwear of all types

    Tolt - Lavatory

    Sport - assistance, cooperation

    Kaneeda - Canada

    Amreeka - America
  • Health Tips From a Doctor

    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain... Good!

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: You're not listening!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: Are you crazy? Hello! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
    A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!