• Akbar and Dhanna Seth

    Once Badshah Akbar' s army was engaged in a prolonged war. As a result his royal wealth ("shahi khazana") was nearly exhausted.

    He asked Birbal: How to replenish my wealth.

    Birbal: You can get it from Dhanna Seth.

    Akbar was amazed as to how a trader/ merchant could have so much money. Still he went to Dhanna Seth.

    Dhanna Seth offered: Badshah Akbar, I have huge wealth, take as much as you want.

    Akbar: Dhanna Seth, How did you accumulate so much wealth. Tell me without any fear of punishment.

    Dhanna: I earned it by adultrating grains & spices.

    Akbar got angry, he took all of Dhanna's wealth and ordered him that from then on he would collect the horse dung in his royal stable. Dhanna agreed.

    Years passed by. Again Akbar had to fight a long drawn battle. Again his royal wealth exhausted & again Birbal advised Akbar to go to Dhanna Seth for help.

    Akbar wondered: Birbal, I had ordered him to work in royal stable to collect horse dung... How on earth he can have such a wealth???

    Birbal: Badshah, you can ask him but only he can help you.

    Akbar went to Dhanna. Dhanna gave Akbar huge wealth.

    Akbar: Dhanna Seth, I had earlier taken all your wealth, How did you accumulate it again?

    Dhanna: From the stable - incharge & horse attendants. They used to underfeed the horses. I threatened them that I will complain to Badshah that they did not feed horses enough, hence the horse dung quantity was less. So they bribed me to keep silent.

    Akbar got very angry again & ordered Dhanna to start counting the waves at sea & returned to his Palace with Dhanna's wealth.

    As luck would have it, Akbar fought another war, royal wealth emptied out and once again Birbal advised Akbar to go to Dhanna Seth for help.

    Akbar could not believe as to how Dhanna could earn so much by counting waves at sea.

    Akbar asked Dhanna for the help.

    Dhanna: Badshah, Take as much as you want but this time around I will not change my profession.

    Akbar: Ok, but tell me how did you earn money by counting Water waves at sea.

    Dhanna: Very simple, I used to stop merchant's ships & boats far away from sea shore. I showed them your orders that I was counting waves & their ships & boats would disturb or break the waves hence their ships or boats should stay away. Badshah, these merchants then used to bribe me to let them reach the shore & unload their merchandise.

    So Badshah understood that Dhanna Seth can earn by engaging in manipulations and bribery from any profession.

    Demonetisation or no demonetisation, the Dhanna Seths of our society will always find a way to earn & accumulate black money.
  • The Interview With God

    After passing on, George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.

    God asks Bush, "What do you believe in?"

    Bush answers, "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"

    God is impressed by Bush and tells him, "Great , come sit on the chair on my right"

    Next, God asks Obama, "What do you believe in?"

    Obama answers, "I believe in the power of democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc."

    God is really impressed by Obama and tells him, "Well done , come sit on the chair on my left.

    Finally, God asks Trump, "What do you believe in?"

    Trump answers, "I believe you're sitting on my chair."
  • Upset Stomach

    Ek Bar Santa Apni Girlfriend Ke Ghar Dinner Par Gaya. Us Din Santa Ka Pet Kuch Kharab Tha, Phir Bhi Table Par Shaandar Dinner Rakha Dekh Ke Uske Muh Mein Pani Aa Gaya Aur Santa Ne Daba Kar Dinner Kiya.

    Thodi Der Ke Baad Santa Ke Pet Mein Gud-Gud Shuru Ho Gayi Aur Pad Ki Awaaz Aayi... Poooooooo....

    Saare Logo Ne Santa Ki Taraf Dekha Aur Uske Baad Santa Ke Paas Baithe Hue Ladki Ke Kutte Tommy Ki Taraf Dekha.

    Ladki Ka Baap: Tommy...! Chalo Bhago Yaha Se.

    Tommy Wahi Baitha Raha. Santa Ne Socha Chalo Achchha Hua Kisi Ko Pata Nahi Chala Aur Ilzam Tommy Pe Lag Gaya.

    Do Minute Baad Santa Ne Phir Pad Diya... Poooooo.... Ladki Ka Baap Gusse Me Bola: Tommyyyyy, Maine Kaha Jao Yahan Se.

    Santa Phir Se Bahut Khush Hua. Girlfriend Ne Bhi Santa Ki Taraf Dekha Aur Phir Tommy Ko Dekh Ke Boli: Ye Kutta Bhi Na. Tommy... Chalo Jao, Hato Santa Ke Paas Se.

    Thodi Der Baad Phir Se Santa Ke Pet Ne Saath Chhod Diya Aur Ab Ki Baar Ka Poooo Kuch Zyada Hi Tez Aawaz Se Nikla Pooooooooooooo.......

    Ladki Ka Baap: Oye Tommy.... Kab Se Kah Rahe Hain Ki Jao Yahan Se... Jaata Kyun Nahin... Jab Wo Tere Upar Potty Kar Dega Tab Hatega Kya Wahan Se....????
  • Learn a New Sport

    On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition, "This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly."

    The doctor then began listing orders:
    "You must give an injection in a different location every twenty minutes followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours. He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of water every twenty-five minutes and must void between.

    "Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the rest of the day. Give range of motion every thirty minutes. He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do whatever he asks at all times.

    "Chart his condition and vital signs every twenty minutes. You must do these things exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and he will not able to play golf well."

    The nurse left the doctor and entered the patient's room. She was greeted by anxious family and an equally anxious patient. All asked the nurse what the doctor had said about the patient.

    The nurse started, "The doctor said that you will live." Then quickly reviewing the orders, the nurse added, "But you will have to learn a new sport."