• Rules for Being Human

    1. You will receive a body.
    You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

    2. You will learn lessons.
    You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

    3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
    Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".

    4. A lesson is repeated until learned.
    A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

    5. Learning lessons does not end.
    There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

    6. "There" is no better than "here".
    When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again, look better than "here."

    7. Others are merely mirrors of you.
    You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

    8. What you make of your life is up to you.
    You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

    9. Your answers lie inside you.

    The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

    10. You will forget all this.
  • Free Drinks!

    A man walks into a a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave.

    The bartender tells him that he owes $10.

    "But I already paid you. Don't you remember?" says the customer.

    "OK," says the bartender, "if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

    The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid or not.

    The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.

    The barkeep again replies, "OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

    The customer then heads outside and tells a friend how he too can get free drinks.

    The third man hurries in and begins to drink highballs.

    The bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the balls..."

    The man interrupts, "Don't bother me with your troubles.

    Just give me my change and I'll be on my way.
    Bar
  • Impact of AntiRomeo Squads

    Application To Take Wife Out For Anniverasy Dinner

    To,
    The SHO
    Police Thana Hazartganz
    Lucknow

    Respected Sir,
    I am a common man of this country, I have been married for 24 years and my 25th anniversary is coming up shortly. I had planned to take my wife out for a special anniversary dinner, all these years she has been complaining that I am not a very romantic person so I wanted to take her out for a candle light dinner where I plan to have champagne, hold her hands, look into her eyes, present her with a rose and a diamond ring, subsequently I plan to order some mutton with rice eat my dinner in peace and come back home.

    Sir, of late I have been reading in the newspapers that some Anti Romeo Squads have been made to catch rowdy elements who tease girls, Sir I think this is a very good idea and there should be no compromise on the safety and security of our girls, I have also read that just by the look in the eyes these policemen can make out who these Romeos are, and recently they caught a brother and sister sitting together and took them to the Police Station.

    Sir, even though I am not a very romantic person but just for one day I wanted to get that romantic look in my eyes to impress my wife, but Sir am scared that just by that look the Police may think I am a Romeo and arrest me. I assure you Sir that look will all be made up only for a few hours and will become normal after that. As far as mutton is concerned I will order Paneer if that is permitted and think that I am eating mutton.

    I am a law abiding, tax paying citizen of the country and hence Sir would request you to grant me permission to take my wife out for this dinner.

    Copy of my Aadhaar card, PAN card, driving licence, Passport, Identity card are enclosed for your verification please.

    Looking forward to an early reply from you Sir.

    With warm regards yours sincerely
    xxxxxxxxx
  • Root Cause Analysis

    A Management lecturer was talking about "Quality".

    Lecturer: We all know Lord Ram went to spend 14 years in forest and Sita was kidnapped because of a "quality issue".

    Student: How is this anything to do with quality?

    Lecturer: Tell me why did Sita go to forest with Ram ?

    Student: Because she was his wife and respected his every decision.

    Lecturer: OK but why did Ram go to forest ?

    Student: Because his father Dasharatha told him to do so and he never disobeyed his father.

    Lecturer: OK why did Dasharatha send his son to forest ?

    Student: Dasharatha offered his wife (Kaikeyi) two boons, and she chose to make use of them in the future.

    And she wanted her son to be king, so on the day of Rama's crowning, she asked Dasharatha to send Rama to forest and crown her son; reminding him of his promised boons.

    Lecturer: So why did Dasharatha offer his wife two boons ?

    Student: Because during a military campaign against Sambarasura, the wheel of Dasharatha's chariot broke and and kakiye inserted her finger to hold the wheel in place.

    Touched by her courage and timely service, Dasharatha offered her two boons.

    Lecturer: Hence Proved. The quality of Chariot's wheel was not up to the mark... leading to kidnapping of Sita...!!!!

    So, using the "5 why" technique we see that Quality is very important and if the quality of Chariot's wheel was good, the Ramayana wouldn't have happened!]