|1. In a match between India and Australia, Michel Clarke was caught at the slip off Kumble and he was waiting for third umpire's decision when he was clearly out.|
Harsha said: I think he is waiting for tomorrow's newspapers to declare him out.
2. In one match, Dravid and Ganguly panicked while running between the wickets and Ganguly sent him back from half pitch.
Siddhu: Ganguly threw drowning Dravid, a rope with both loose ends.
3. Navjot Singh Siddhu on Ajit Agarkar: If Ajit Agarkar is an all-rounder, then I am Aishwarya Rai.
4. Geoffrey Boycott during the lunch show: Sachin may be a great batsman, but he has never been on the Lords honours boards!
Harsha Bhogle: So whose loss is it more, Sachin's or the Honours board's?
5. Navjyot Singh Siddhu commenting oh Rohan Gavaskar's performance said: Everything coming out of cow is not milk, my friend.
6. Sidhu: Pitches biwiyon ki tarah hoti hai.... kab badal jaye, koi nahin bol sakta!
7. India is playing Sri Lanka. Sehwag hits a boundary and Ravi Shastri remarks: It's gone to the boundary before you can say KULASEKARA.
8. During an India-WI test in the summer of 2011, Andre Russel had just dived to save a boundary.
Ian Bishop: Reminds you of a young Tony Cozier, this man.
Tony Cozier: You weren't even a thought in your parents' head when I did that.
9. Michael Atherton: It is England but India has more support in the stadium, and the pitch is completely assisting your spinners. Says a lot about our hospitality, right.'
Harsha Bhogle: Well.... we let you rule our nation for so many years. I believe that's the least you can do for us.
Michael Atherton was speechless!
|Girl, to God: I don't want to marry. I am educated, independent and self-sufficient. I don't need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What should I do?|
God: You are my finest creation and undoubtedly will achieve many great things. But some things... inevitably, will not go the way you want. Worst, some things will fail. Whom will you blame? Yourself? No! You need a husband!
Boy, to god: But then what will I do. Whom will I blame....?
God: Your scope is much wider my son. You can blame the govt, the education system, the environment, the slow growth, the fast growth, the economy, the politicians, the bureaucrats, the infra, religions, beliefs and even me..............
NEVER EVER BLAME YOUR WIFE!
|Tim is having a bit of trouble seeing things at a distance so he goes into an opticians for an eye test.|
The optician asks him to cover his right eye with his left hand and read the letters on the card. Now Tim has always had difficulty telling right from left so the optician says not to worry and to cover his left eye with his left hand and then read the letters on the card but still Tim has problems.
The optician, being a helpful chap, has a brilliant idea and taking a cardboard box, cuts out two small square holes and puts it over Tim's head with the words, "There, now cover up one of the holes and read the letters on the card through the other hole."
Tim however bursts into tears and the optician becomes very concerned, takes the box off his head and asks why he's crying.
Tim replies, "I wanted a metal frame like me brother's got."
|A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence.|
"Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked.
"I reckon so," replied the farmer.
The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface.
As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!"
"Well, golly," said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my ducks!"