• Entry to Heaven

    Entry to Heaven
    There was an Englishman, an Indian and a Pakistani driving along, when they rolled the car and the three of them got killed. They went to Heaven and met St Peter at the Pearly Gates. They explained that they'd been killed and needed a place to stay.

    St Peter replied, "I'd love to help you boys but we're full up after the holiday season. I'm afraid you'll have to go into Limbo till there's a vacancy."

    The Englishman slipped St Pete £50 and asked if that'd make any difference.

    St Peter said, "For that mate, you can go back to Earth."

    By the time the Englishman got back, there were police everywhere and an ambulance. They all got a real shock when he sat up.

    "What happened? You've been dead for half and hour," asked the ambulance driver.

    He told them about St Peter and the £50, so the ambulance driver asked why the other two didn't come back.

    "Well," says the Englishman, "the Indian is trying to bargain him down and the Pakistani reckons the government should pay for it!"
  • Alternate sport!

    Santa and Banta met at the club for their weekly golf game.
    And for the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
    Banta: Well, Santa, what do you want to do now?
    Santa: Badminton?
    Banta: Nah.
    Santa: Shoot some pool?
    Banta: Nah.
    Santa: Cards?
    Banta: Nah. Hey, I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and fool around with my wife, Preeto.
    Santa: What do you mean?
    Banta: Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around with my wife.
    Santa: What about me?
    Banta: She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
    Santa: Well... if you think it's okay...

    At Banta's house
    Banta: Preeto, I'm home. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone shopping. Tell you what, Santa, Let's go to your house!
  • Adam's dress

    A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
    He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
    "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
    "What have you got there, dear?"
    With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
  • Mother-in-law

    A Mother-in-law decides to see if her three son-in-law's love her or at least appreciate her...

    The next day while strolling along the river with her first son-in-law, she lets herself fall into the water and starts to drown.

    Without hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in the river and saves his mother-in-law.

    The next day, in front of his house, he finds a new car, a City Honda, with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.

    She undertakes the same scenario with her second eldest son-in-law. This one too, dives into the river and saves his mother-in-law. The next day, he too, in front of his house, finds a new car: the same City Honda with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.

    The same scenario occurs with the third son-in-law, she falls in the water and starts to drown. He watches his mother-in-law drown while thinking to himself: I've been waiting a long time for this!

    The next day, in front of his house, he sees a brand new Mercedez with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your father-in-law.
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