Random Jokes

Banta came to meet Santa at his house.

He knocked at the door; and was surprised to see Santa dripping with water open the door while being stark naked.

"Come on Santa, aren't you ashamed? Why don't you wear something?", said Banta.

Santa sheepishly ran into the bathroom and came back wearing his slippers.

"I have a bad headache. I’ll visit the doctor,” said Santa.

Banta, "Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why do not you try it?".

Santa said, "Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I’ll be right over."

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.

"You , attorney Leon; gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket & pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon....

"Now then, I'm returning $5,000 & we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, You are really ugly,"
The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly," She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly,"
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and to get rid of the bird if they didn t do something about it. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn t say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes ?"
And the bird replied, "You know."