Banta walks into a restaurant with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order.
Banta says, "I`ll have a burger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich.
"I`ll have the same" says the ostrich.
A short time later, the waitress returns with the order.
"That will be Rs 146.50 please,"
Banta reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.
The next day, Banta and his ostrich come again, and Banta says, "I`ll have a burger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I`ll have the same."
Once again Banta reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes a routine, until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is sunday night, so I will have a chicken burger, baked potato and salad," says Banta.
"Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be Rs 362.75."
Once again Banta pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can`t hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says Banta, "several years ago, I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just have to put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always he there."
"That`s brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you`ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That`s right! Whether it`s a coke or a BMW, the exact money is always there," says Banta.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what`s with the ostrich?"
Banta replies with a slight frown, "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."
Jeeto came running up to Santa jumping for joy.
Not knowing how to react, Santa started jumping up and down along with her. "Why are we so happy?" Santa asked.
Jeeto, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you`re so happy about."
Jeeto stopped breathless from all the jumping up and down. "I`m pregnant!" she gasped.
Santa was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while. Santa grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn`t be happier.
Then Jeeto said "Oh, honey there`s more."
"What do you mean more?", he asked.
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.
"It was easy" she said, "I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realised that he desperately needed to go to the toilet. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.
Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.
Five minutes later. Billy returned looking more desperate and embarrassed.
"I can't find it", he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now.
Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.
Well five minutes later, he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it".
Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.
So Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats.
The teacher asks Tommy, "Well, did you find it?"
Tommy is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards"
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."