• The Old Bore

    A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away."

    An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened... not a sound.

    He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, "Well, my Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"

    The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman, and she couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.

    The quick-thinking minister's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure you'll be glad to greet her."
  • Beginning of the Internet

    How The Internet Got Started , According To The Bible. Please do not GOOGLE this one or check with Snopes. They will lie to you.... Trust Me

    In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a homely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

    And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

    And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

    And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

    Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

    To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to The People (HTTP).

    And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

    And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others" And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.

    He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

    And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

    "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

    Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

    It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

    That is how it all began. And that's the truth. I would not make up this stuff.
  • Human Nature!!!

    A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him.

    After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he left me with a young woman. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do".

    The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it.

    After she finishes eating, he ask, "Is the cookie delicious?"

    "Yes," she answer.

    "Do you want another one?"

    "Sure, please."

    The monk looks her in the eyes and said, "Do you see the problem now?"

    The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speak, "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that."

    The monk shakes his head, "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less."
  • Counting In The Courtyard

    A group of people were touring a university campus and they noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

    "What are they doing?" a woman asked the tour guide.

    "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

    When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, the woman asked the guide: "So what's the answer?"

    The guide replied, "One."
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