• Alcohol Therapy

    Apni Sharaab Kee Lat se pareshaan Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.

    Santa: Doctor Sahab.... Meri Sharaab Chhudaao !

    Doctor: Roz Kitni Peete Ho ?

    Santa: 4 Peg !

    Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Kam Kar Do Aur 1 Hafte Ke Baad Mujhse Milo.

    1 Hafte Baad....
    Doctor: Abhi Kitni Pee Rahe Ho Roz ?

    Santa: Jitni Aapne Bataayi Thee... Sirf 3 Peg !

    Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Aur Kam Kar Do Aur Agle Hafte Mujhe Phir Se Milo.

    Phir 1 Hafte Ke Baad...
    Doctor: Ab Kitne Peg Le Rahe Ho ?

    Santa: 2 Peg Sir !

    Doctor: Good ! Ab Aaj Se Daily Sirf 1 Peg Lena Hai, Theek Hai? Santa: Par Doctor Sahab... 1 Peg Mein Poori Bottle... Peg Kuchh Jyada Tight Nahi Ho Jayega ???
  • Little Johnny's Balloon

    Little Johnny blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but he continues.

    "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something."

    He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Little Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

    Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets a diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

    When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

    "Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.

    He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"
  • Sewing Machine for Sale

    These four classified ads appeared in a Gujarati newspaper on four Consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.

    For sale - SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 92555-00707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who lives with him cheap.

    Notice: We regret having erred in SK Shah's ad yesterday. It should have read - 'One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs. Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.'

    Notice: SK Shah has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the Classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: 'For sale - SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 92555-00707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.'

    Notice: I, SK Shah, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 92555-00707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.
  • Karva Chauth Offer!

    Chitrgupt Bohut Pareshaan The Aurr Brahma Ji Se Bole: Hey Prabhu Ye Karvachauth Ke Vratt Se 7 Janam Tak Ek Hi Pati Milne Wali Yojna Band Kar Dein.

    Bramha Ji Ne Pucha- Kyon? Kya Hua?

    Chitrgupt: Prabhu Manage Karna Mushkil Ho Gaya Hai. Sabhi Aurteein 7 Janam Tak Wahi Purush Maangti Hai Par Sabhi Purush Har Bar Dusri Aurat Maangte Hai Bohot Dikkat Ho Rai Hai.

    Brahma Ji Ne Kaha: Ye Scheme Aadi Kaal Se Chali Aa Rahi Hai, Ise Band Nahi Kia Jaa Sakta. Prithvi Par Ek Santa Naam Ka Prani Rehta Hai, Usse Jaa kar Salah Lijiye.

    Chitrgupt Santa Ke Paas Gaye or Unse Salah Maangi.

    Santa Bola: Jo Bhi Aurat 7 Janam Tak Wahi Pati Demand Kare Use Dedo Par Saath Mein Shart Bhi RakhDo Ke Pati Wahi Chahiye Toh Saas Bhi Wahi Milegi, Demand Apne Aap Band...