• Don't Mess With a Gujju

    A Gujju bought a well from a Jew.

    The next day while on his way to market he met the Jew who told him, "Brother I have sold the well to you but I have not sold the water,if you use the water you will have to pay for it."

    The Gujju replied, "In fact I was planning to come to your place and ask you to empty the water and if you don't do it than you will have to pay the rent for the water."
  • Will Power

    Marty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot in the house, Sadie is on to him, telling him that their friend Marvin has finally quit smoking.

    "Imagine that, Marty," she says, "someone who smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a sudden. Now that's what I call will power - something that you definitely don't have."

    But Sadie hadn't finished.

    "And that's not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken friend of yours, is finally giving up drinking - another example of the kind of will power that you don't have."

    "OK, Sadie," said Marty, "you want to see will power, do you? Well here's will power. I am going to sleep in the spare room from now on. I am going to prove to you that I won't be affected at all by not sleeping with a woman."

    Marty keeps to his word.

    One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week, there is a knock on his bedroom door.

    Marty shouts out, "What do you want?"

    Sadie replies, "Marvin has started smoking again."
  • The Three Questions

    King Akbar was very fond of Birbal. This made a certain courtier very jealous. Now this courtier always wanted to be chief minister, but this was not possible as Birbal filled that position.

    One day Akbar praised Birbal in front of the courtier. This made the courtier very angry and he said that the king praised Birbal unjustly and if Birbal could answer three of his questions, he would accept the fact that Birbal was intelligent. Akbar always wanting to test Birbals wit readily agreed.

    The three questions were:
    1. How many stars are there in the sky?
    2. Where is the centre of the Earth?
    3. How many men and how many women are there in the world.

    Immediately Akbar asked Birbal the three questions and informed him that if he could not answer them, he would have to resign as chief minister.

    To answer the first question, Birbal brought a hairy sheep and said .There are as many stars in the sky as there is hair on the sheep's body. My friend the courtier is welcome to count them if he likes.

    To answer the second question, Birbal drew a couple of lines on the floor and bore an iron rod in it and said this is the centre of the Earth, the courtier may measure it himself if he has any doubts.

    In answer to the third question, Birbal said Counting the exact number of men and women in the world would be a problem as there are some specimens like our courtier friend here who cannot easily be classified as either. Therefore if all people like him are killed, then and only then can one count the exact number.
  • Identify the Guest

    Once Birbal was invited for dinner by a rich man. When Birbal reached there, he found himself in a large crowd. The host greeted him warmly and took him inside.

    Birbal said, "I did not know that there will be so many guests in this gathering."

    The host replied politely, "They are not guests, Sir. They are my employees except one who is the only other guest here besides you. Could you tell who is that other one guest here?"

    "Maybe, I could. Tell them a joke, and I will observe them."

    The rich man told the joke and everybody laughed uproariously. Perhaps this was the worst joke Birbal had ever heard in his life.

    Now the rich man asked Birbal, "I have told the joke, now you tell me who is the other guest here?"

    Birbal pointed out towards a man and said, "He is that other guest."

    The rich man was very surprised hearing this that how could he recognize the other guest.

    He said to him, "You are right Birbal, but how did you recognize him?"

    Birbal said, "Because only employees can laugh on such a joke. He was the only person who did not even smile on your joke, so I immediately recognized him as the other guest."