• Honest Job Interview

    1. Why did you apply for this job?
    I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you called me first.

    2. Why do you want to work for this company?
    I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.

    3. Why should I hire you?
    You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

    4. What would you do if this happened?
    Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...

    5. What is your biggest strength?
    I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the fate of company.

    6. What is your biggest weakness?

    7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
    Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to get more money, so I am here today.

    8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
    Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

    9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?
    Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

    10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
    For the same reason why you left your previous job.

    11. What do you want from this job?
    No work and good hikes.

    12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
    Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.

    13. What do you know about our company?
    I knew you will ask me this question. So, I've gone through your website.

    14. What salary are you expecting?
    Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on whatever I ask. So I have already hiked my current salary by 30%.
  • Castaway!

    A young fellow became marooned on a deserted South Pacific island after his cruise ship sank. For several years, he managed to live on fruits and vegetables he found on the island, together with shellfish and an occasional fish he was able to catch.

    Then, one day as he was sitting on the beach, he saw an object approaching the island. As it got closer, he could see that it was a woman astride a barrel. When she finally managed to paddle the barrel ashore, he ran over to greet her, and noticed that she was a beautiful girl.

    "Wow," he exclaimed, "I'm sure glad to see you!"

    Noticing that his clothes were gone and he had quite a beard, she asked, "My goodness, how long have you been here by yourself?"

    "Almost four years, I think" he replied.

    She said "Well, I'm going to give you something you haven't had in a long time, and I'm sure you have missed."

    "Well, hot damn!" he exclaimed, "Have you got beer in that barrel?"
  • Phenomenol 2 Letter Word

    I'm sure you will enjoy this. One word in the English language that could be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep is UP. Read until the end... you'll laugh.

    This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
    It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

    At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

    At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

    To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

    And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP.

    We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

    To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

    If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred or more.

    When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now...... my time is UP!

    So, did this whole thing, crack you UP?

    Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book... or not... it's UP to you.

    Now I'll shut UP!
  • First-time Flyer

    Mallu boarding a plane.
    Air hostess is smiling.
    Mallu: Tatti Vandi!
    Air hostess (shocked): What???
    Mallu: Tatti Vandi!!!
    Air hostess calls steward.

    Mallu: Tatti Vandi!!!
    Steward: What????

    Mallu thrusts his boarding pass below the steward's nose.

    Steward looks at it and bursts out laughing. Composes himself, and says: Sir, seat 31 D is in the center. This way please!