• Husband & Wife Short Jokes

    Husband: Darling!!! Tumhara Naam Haath Pe Likhu Ya Dil Pe??
    Wife: Idhar Udhar Kyun Likhte Ho ? Agar Sachcha Pyar Karte Ho Toh Seedha Apne Property Ke Papers Pe Likho !!!
    Moral: Biwi Ke Saamne Style Nahin Maarnr Ka.

    Prabhu... Yeh Kya Moh-Maya Hai?
    Apna Bachcha Roye, Toh Dil Mein Drd Hota Hai Aur Doosre Ka Roye, Toh Sir Mein!
    Apni Biwi Roye, Toh Sir Mein Dard Hota Hai Aur Doosre Ki Roye, Toh Dil Mein....
    Sab Prabhu Ki Maya Hai.

    A Man Praying in Kumbh Mela:
    Hey Prabhu, Nyaye Karo...
    Hey Prabhu, Nyaye Karo...
    Hamesha Bhai-Bhai Bichhadte Hain Is Kumbh Ke Mele Mein...
    Kabhi Pati-Patni Pe Bhi Try Karo!!!!

    Wife: Jaanu, Kaash Aap Message Hote, Main Aapko Save Karti Aur Jab Dil Chahta Ta Padh Leti.
    Husband: Kanjoos Hee Rahiyo, Save Hee Karke Rakhiyo, Apni Kisi Saheli Ko Forward Na Kariyo!!!
  • Suing Big Companies

    Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

    "Yes, Bubba, sure is true." responded the lawyer.

    "And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"

    "Sure is Bubba. But why are you asking?"

    "Cause what I want to know is can I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with?"
  • Lottery Ticket

    Ek Baar Banta Mandir Gaya Aur Haath Jodkar Bahgwaan Se Prarthana Karta Hai: Hey Prabhu ! Aaj Maine Lottery Daali Hai, Meri Aapse Dua Hai Ki Please Meri Lottery Aaj Nikalni Chahiye.

    Ye Kahkar Banta Apne Kaam Par Chala Jaata Hai. Raaste Mein Uski Jeb Kat Jaati Hai. Woh Gusse Mein Vaapis Mandir Aata Hai Aur Bhagwaan Ke Saamne Khade Hokar Kahta Hai:

    Hey Bhagwaan, Koi Bhi Action Lene Se Pehle Puri Baat Toh Sun Liya Karo.
  • The New Signature

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's.

    He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show) you get the idea.

    One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.

    "So vat's the problem? Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.

    Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing, he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2.

    Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble, he said, "but my wife said that since I'm now such a high-class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"