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Implications of Mahabharata on Today's World!

What would happen If Mahabharata would happen in this era.... Enjoy Reading:

1. Kauravas would have starved to death with only 9 subsidized LPG cylinders for 102 of them.

2. When Bheem meets Hanuman, he would hand him t-shirts saying, 'Being Hanuman,' and then run him over.

3. Duryodhana would claim he did Draupadi's vastraharan because she didn't call him, "Bhaiya."

4. Media would target Shree Krishna as Dwarka was in Gujarat.

5. Duryodhan would get Draupadi arrested u/s 66A of IT Act for updating her FB status; "Andhe ka putra andha hi hoga."

6. Draupadi would have been sobbing in a Satyameva Jayate episode.

7. Nandan Nilkeni would go mad during AADHAR data collection at the Kaurava household.

8. India TV headlines will be 'Draupdi ki saaree ka raaz, khulega Aaj, theek raat 8 baze!

9. TV reporters will ask Bheesm Pitamah on the bed of arrows: "How are you feeling? Kaise lag raha hai?"

10. After 13 years of Vanwaass Pandavas would have turned into Naxals.

11. News channels would pay millions for exclusive rights for live telecast of Draupadi's vastraharan.

12. Abhimanyu would have got the GYAN that getting out of Chakravyuh was easier than booking a Tatkal ticket on IRCTC."

13. Aishwarya would've replaced by Draupadi in L'Oreal shampoo advt. "5 problems, 1 solution."

14. Sanjaya would have minted billions by selling satellite rights for the kurukshetra war.

15. Barkha's show would be renamed: 'The Yudh Stops Here'; Sagarika's: 'Face the Yudh' and Arnab's: 'The Yud Hour'

16. Only ND Tiwari will come close to having 100 children.

17. US would be begging India to share the Dron'e technology with them.

18. Lord Krishna will be Political Guru & Shakuni will be Management Guru.

19. There would be a 'Justice for Kauravas' campaign by Civil Society at India Gate against Pandavas for massacring the whole family.

20. Pandavas would have had to shift frequently because DLF and Jaypee Group would frequently take over jungles for housing projects!!!

The chicken and the eggs!

Man runs to the doctor and says, "doctor, you`ve got to help me...my wife thinks she`s a chicken!"
Doctor says, " how long has she had this condition?"
"Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?"
The man shrugs his shoulders, "we needed the eggs."

Confessional

At one local church, Jack was in charge of taking up the offerings. One Sunday after the services, the priest counted the cash and found it was smaller than anticipated. So he questioned Jack. He told him that it did not seem enough for the size of the congregation.
Jack said that he did not take any of the offering.
The priest again questioned him and again he said that he did not take any of the offering. So the priest said "get in the confessional" which Jack did.
Then the priest asked him did you take any of the offering and this time he said "I can't hear you".
Again the priest asked "Jack did you take any of the offering?"
Again Jack answered "I can't hear you".
This time the priest yelled, "JACK DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERING"
Again Jack answered "I can't hear you".
By this time the priest was getting a little angry so he came out of the confessional and said, "Jack trade places with me and you can ask me a question."
So they traded places and Jack asked, "I hear that you and my wife are having an affair, is that true?"
To which the priest answered, "By Golly you can't hear in here."

Wrong number!

The worried Preeto sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
"How are you, darling?" she said. "What kind of a day are you having?"
"Oh, mother," said Preeto, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight."
The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman. I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call Ashok at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."
"Ashok?" said Preeto. "Who's Ashok?"
"Why, Ashok! Your husband!....Is this 2369125?
"No, this is 2369135."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."
There was a short pause and Preeto said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"

Quotes

I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.

Trivia

Beyonce Knowles' debut album "Dangerously in Love" earned her five Grammys.

Graffiti

The old songs are best because nobody sings them any more.