• Smaller Eggs!

    It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.

    The elephant complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!"

    The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet!"

    Next the giraffe complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me!"

    The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance."

    The hen spoke up, "Lord, I don't want to complain, but either let me have a bigger hole or smaller eggs."
  • Alia Ke Kisse

    Alia Bhatt: Hey dad, what's the plan for weekend ?
    Mahesh Bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
    Alia Bhatt: Hey, first Part Kab Release Hua Tha?
    Mahesh Bhatt: Jaa Meri Maa, Tu Shooting Pe Jaa!!!

    Alia was Participating 100 metres Race...
    Referee said: 1, 2, 3, GO....
    Everybody started running except Alia Bhatt.
    Referee: Why are you not running...?
    Alia Bhatt: My number is 4.

    SBI Bank: Humara Bank Aapko bina Interest Ke Loan De raha Hai....
    Alia Bhatt: Agar Dene Mein Interest hi Nahi Hai Toh Kyun De Rahe Ho? Nahi Chahiye....

    Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie .
    Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today.
    Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it, tell him you're sick.

    Alia reading newspaper.
    News: Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump.
    Alia comments: Idiot !!! Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!

    Deepika Padukone: I have more Fans than You.
    Alia Bhatt: Big deal, I have AC at Home.
  • What's Tanjooberrymutts?

    By the time you read through this you will understand TANJOOBERRYMUTTS and then you will be ready to take on China! Believe me... you WILL understand!!! The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a Hotel guest & room-service in China...

    Room Service: Morrin. Roon sirbees.

    Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

    Room Service: Rye , Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?

    Guest: Uh... Yes, I'd like to order bacon & eggs.

    Room Service: Ow ulai den?

    Guest: .....What??

    Room Service: Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?

    Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please.

    Room Service: Ow ulai dee bayken? Creepse?

    Guest: Crisp will be fine.

    Room Service: Hokay. An sahn toes?

    Guest: What?

    Room Service: An toes. ulai sahn toes?

    Guest: I.... Don't think so...
    RoomService: No? Udo wan sahn toes???

    Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means.

    RoomService: Toes! Toes!... Why Uoo don wan toes?... Ow bow anglish moppin we botter?

    Guest: Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine... Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

    RoomService: We botter?

    Guest: No, just put the botter on the side.

    RoomService: Wad?!?

    Guest: I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side.

    RoomService: Copy?

    Guest: Excuse me?

    RoomService: Copy.. tea... meel?

    Guest: Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything.

    RoomService: One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh & copy... Rye ??

    Guest: Whatever you say.

    RoomService: Tanjooberrymutts.

    Guest: You're welcome

    Remember I did say By the time you read through this... ...YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'
    And you do now, don't you!
  • Google Adsense

    Did you hear that Google is now offering free email accounts that are 500 times bigger than Yahoo's or MSN's accounts?

    Yep, but there is a catch: Google plans on reading your mail and then delivering ads based upon the content of the email.

    So if your wife sends you a note saying, "If you don't figure out a way to get your dick hard, then I'm going to be forced to bone Santos our pool boy."

    Then Google will include three ads in her message:
    First for Viagra to offer help for your problematic erectile dysfunction.
    Second for Purina dog food to help build healthy bones.
    and to satisfy the most important need - a local pool service.