|Interview of a married man for the benefit of the unmarried ones.|
Reporter: So how is your married life?
Mr. Husband: First of all, "married life" is an oxymoron.
Reporter: But people say marriages are made in heaven?
Mr. Husband: Only if heaven is full of Chinese people.
Reporter: So yours was an arranged marriage, how was it?
Mr. Husband: Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colors and then.......
Reporter: Hmmmmmm, so when did you realize that married life is dangerous?
Mr. Husband: I knew it from day one, marriage is danger, that's why the bride always wears RED.
Reporter: I've heard that arranged marriages last longer that the love ones? Is it true?
Mr. Husband: Love marriages, hahaha, mostly it goes like this:
We are made for each other.
We are mad for each other.
We are maid for each other.
Reporter: If it is that bad then how married people pass their time?
Mr. Husband: They watch a lot of TV. Wife watches "Punar-Vivah" and husband wants it for real.
Reporter: So, why you guys don't do any fun things, like playing games together?
Mr. Husband: Yes we do. Me and my wife, we are playing a game called "You to be blamed", very close game, right now she is leading by 2285 - 1.
Reporter: Okay, tell us, what kind of conversations you guys make while you're free? Mr. Husband: She asks a lot of questions, every wife does, and as we start answering their questions, they start questioning our answers.
Reporter: So any tips you wanna share?
Mr. Husband: Yep, quite a few:
(A). Don't waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she'll treat you like a clown anyway.
(B). Never reply to your wife's "I love you" text with an OKAY.
(C). Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
(D). And yes, take your wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.
|A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants.|
"I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"
"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"
|When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated.|
A couple of months later, Myrtle also died. Once in heaven, Myrtle anxiously looked for Joe.
Suddenly, behind a cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman.
She ran towards him, calling his name, "Joe... Darling... Joe..."
Joe said, "Hold your horses woman, and don't 'darling' me. The deal was very clear...'Till Death Do Us Part'!"
|A to Z story of the Sheena Bora murder case:|
A & B (a couple in Guwahati) adopt C (a girl).
When C is a teenager, she is allegedly impregnated by X (who is believed to be a close family member).
C leaves the house and gives birth to Z (a baby girl).
C then gets married to D.
C & D give birth to E (a boy).
C then divorces D and gets married to F.
C & F give birth to G.
After a few years, C & F get divorced.
C then comes to Mumbai and marries H.
Z & G then comes to Mumbai and stays with C & H.
E stays back in Guwahati.
H has a son I from a previous marriage with J.
Z & I get into a relationship, which is not approved by C & H.
C & D get together and murder Z.
It is later alleged that X is actually A.
It is also alleged that Z refused to part with an enormous amount of money which was parked in her offshore account by C.
Enraged by this, C alongwith D plotted to murder Z.
Confused..??? You aren't alone, everyone else is equally or more confused.