Random Jokes

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Hot and Cold...
Hot and Cold...

Santa goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
Santa then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
Santa says, "I ll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It s a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
Santa replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke." flask."

Act Like a Gentleman!

One day Mulla Nasrudin visited a large department store to buy his wife some nylon hose.

Inadvertently, he got caught in a mad rush at a counter where a bargain sale was going on. He soon found himself being pushed and stepped on by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and elbows out, he plowed through the crowd.

"You there!" said a woman. "Can't you act like a gentleman? "

"NOT ANYMORE," said Nasrudin. "I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A GENTLEMAN FOR AN HOUR. FROM NOW ON, I AM ACTING LIKE A LADY."

The mommies!

A custody battle in Santa Ana, CA, took an unusual turn when the mother of a 3-year-old girl claimed the girl`s father is actually a woman. Kristie Vecchione, 27, said her husband became a man through sex-change operations more than 20 years ago. Vecchione, who was impregnated by artificial insemination, wants sole custody of her daughter on claims that same-sex marraiges are not recognized in the state of California.

Those four letter words...

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He`s been saying things I`ve never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You`ve got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"
"Please don`t make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I`m so embarrassed! They`re just too awful! You`ve got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mama...words like dust, wash, iron, and cook..."

Quotes

Love is a serious mental disease.

Trivia

Human eyes remain the same size from birth onward but noses and ears never stop growing.

Graffiti

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law.