|A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.|
Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.
Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.
Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm... ok, go to sleep...
Male mosquito: You don't trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain....
Female mosquito: You idiot go to sleep...
Male mosquito: Honey I'll do anything for you.
Female mosquito: You silly son of a bitch... how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician.
|Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived a blind little bunny and a blind little snake.|
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either a politician, an attorney, or possibly someone in upper management."
|A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence.|
He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
|Three little rabbits escaped from a testing lab and found an entire field full of carrots. They ate themselves into a stupor and slept through the night.|
The next morning, they found an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight.
They had sex throughout the entire day and slept throughout the night.
The next morning, the rabbits got to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," said the first one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," said the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," said the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette.