• Crows Aren't So Smart

    The Department of Tourism clean-up crew recently found over 200 dead crows off and along NH1 near Delhi, and there was concern that they may have died from some sort of Covid/Avian Flu.

    A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian/Covid related. The cause of death in fact appeared to be from vehicular impacts.

    However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paint appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.

    The ICMR then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills.

    The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Bike".
  • Nashedi Monkey

    A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint. The lizard looks up and says, "Hey! What's up?"

    The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come... join me."

    Both Have few joints together. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.

    At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.

    He then asks the lizard, `What's the matter with you?!"

    The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!

    The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.

    He looks up and says, "Hey, MONKEY!"

    The Monkey looks down and says, "O Teri... Abey Pyase... Tu Kitna Pani Piya Re????
  • Anything For You

    A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.

    Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.

    Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.

    Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.

    Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.

    Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm... ok, go to sleep...

    Male mosquito: You don't trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain....

    Female mosquito: You idiot go to sleep...

    Male mosquito: Honey I'll do anything for you.

    Female mosquito: You silly son of a bitch... how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician.
  • Blind Perception

    Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived a blind little bunny and a blind little snake.

    One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

    "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, I don't even know what I am."

    "It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

    "Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."

    "Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me."

    So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either a politician, an attorney, or possibly someone in upper management."