Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."
If animals have Facebook..... these are most likely to be their Status Updates!
Cockroach: Managed to skip from some one's foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!
Cat: My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her? I don't even remember... Mosquito: I am HIV positive... this is all due to wrong sucking.
Pig: Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu...WTF!!!
Chicken: If tomorrow there's no status update from my side, means I'm being served at KFC.
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!` the chicken cried.
"Let's offer them ham and eggs?"
"Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."
A group of bats is hanging around, upside down, as usual, mostly sleeping.
Suddenly one notices that Charlie is on the floor, standing upright and looking around.
"Hey, Charlie," he calls out. "What are you doing down there?"
Charlie looks up and says, "Yoga!"