|A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint. The lizard looks up and says, "Hey! What's up?"|
The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come... join me."
Both Have few joints together. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, `What's the matter with you?!"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says, "Hey, MONKEY!"
The Monkey looks down and says, "O Teri... Abey Pyase... Tu Kitna Pani Piya Re????
|A man got a parrot which could already talk. It had belonged to a sailor and had a big vocabulary. However, the man soon discovered that the parrot mostly know bad words. At first he thought it was funny, but then it became tiresome, and finally, when the man had important guests, the bird's bad words embarrassed him very much.|
As soon as the guests left, the man angrily shouted at the parrot, "That language must stop!"
But the bird answered him with curses. He shook the bird and shouted again, "Don't use those ugly words!" Again the bird cursed him.
Now the man was really angry. He grabbed the parrot and threw him into the refrigerator. But it had no effect. From inside the refrigerator,the parrot was still swearing. He opened the door and took him out, and again the bird spoke in dirty words and curses. This time, the man opened the door of the freezer , threw the bird into it, and closed the door.
This time there was silence. After two minutes, the man opened the door and removed the very cold parrot.
Slowly the shivering parrot walked up the man's arm, sat on his shoulder and spoke into his ear, sounding very frightened, "I'll be good, I promise...Those chickens in there... what did they say?"
|A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.|
Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.
Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.
Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm... ok, go to sleep...
Male mosquito: You don't trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain....
Female mosquito: You idiot go to sleep...
Male mosquito: Honey I'll do anything for you.
Female mosquito: You silly son of a bitch... how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician.
|Three little rabbits escaped from a testing lab and found an entire field full of carrots. They ate themselves into a stupor and slept through the night.|
The next morning, they found an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight.
They had sex throughout the entire day and slept throughout the night.
The next morning, the rabbits got to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," said the first one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," said the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," said the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette.