• Pretentious parrot!!

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
    The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, You are really ugly,"
    The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly," She was incredibly ticked now.
    The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly,"
    The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and to get rid of the bird if they didn t do something about it. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn t say it again.
    When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
    She paused and said, "Yes ?"
    And the bird replied, "You know."
  • Psychic Hot Line!

    A frog telephoned the Psychic Hot line and was told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."
    The frog said, "that`s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
    "No," said the psychic, "next semester in her biology class."
  • How Dogs Are Better Than Men...

    1. Dogs don t have problems expressing affection in public.
    2. Dogs miss you when you are gone.
    3. You can train a dog.
    4. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
    5. Dogs understand what "NO" means.
    6. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
    7. When dogs play "fetch", they don t laugh at how you throw.
    8. Dogs are color blind.
    9. Dogs understand if some of their friends aren’t allowed to come inside.