|There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.|
The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi! I`m a zebra. What are you?"
"I`m a cow," said the cow.
"Right, right, what do you do?"
"I make milk for the farmer."
The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. "Hi, I`m a zebra. What are you?"
"I`m a chicken," said the chicken.
"Oh, right, what do you do?"
"I make eggs for the farmer."
"Right, great, see you round."
Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes.
She ran over to it and said, "Hi, I`m a zebra. What are you?"
"I am a horse," said the horse.
"Wow," said the zebra. "What do you do?"
"Take off your pajamas, darling, and I`ll show you."
|There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.|
So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.
By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.
The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him.
The driver rolls down the window.
The driver is a squirrel.
The squirrel says to the man, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"
|A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.|
After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.
After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could.
After another few weeks, the turtles finally caught up with the snail and mugged him, took all of his clothes and the keys to his car.
After another couple of weeks, the snail got to a pay phone and called the police. "I`ve been mugged by three turtles wearing leather jackets! You need to get down here and take a report or do something!" he said.
"Can you give us a description of the turtles?" asked the police officer.
"No, I can`t. It all happened too fast!" cried the snail.
|In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day. The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.|
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion... king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ..did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
Moral: Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!