• The After-Effects of Marriage

    A lion was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood a distance and wished then lion.

    A mouse came and climbed to the stage and extended his hand to wish the lion.

    The lion roared in rage and said, "How dare you come up the stage? Even the tiger is maintaining distance and you climbed the stage."

    The mouse replied and after listening to that the lion fainted. What would have the mouse said ??? Any guess???

    The mouse said, "Oh shut up buddy, even I was lion before marriage."
  • The chicken PJs

    Who's the father of the chicken?
    Chiken Ka-bab.

    Who's the mother of the chicken ?
    Chicken Ki-ma.

    How do you tell a chicken to call you on your mobile?
    Kal-mi Kabab.

    What happens when a chicken takes a bath ?
    Chicken Shower-ma.
  • Unusual pet

    This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.
    So he asked the centipede in the box, Would you like to go to Frank`s with me for a beer? But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?
    But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few more minutes, thinking about the situation and he decided to ask him one more time! This time, putting his face up against the centipede`s little house he shouted, HEY, IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO FRANK`S PLACE AND HAVE A DRINK WITH ME?
    A little voice came out of the box, "I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! I`M PUTTING ON MY SHOES!"
  • Ape removal

    A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. Not knowing quite what to do, he looks in the yellow pages under "Gorilla Removal Service" and sure enough finds a listing-Harry`s Ape Removal.
    So he calls up Harry and about an hour later Harry shows up with all the tools of his trade, a pick-up truck, a pair of handcuffs, a ferociously-trained dog and a shotgun.
    Harry then proceeds to explain the removal procedure to the man because he will need help:
    "Now, I`m going to climb up in this tree and shake the tree until the gorilla falls out of the tree. The very instant the gorilla hits the ground, this daog is trained to rush up and bite his balls off. This will temporarily immobilize the gorilla allowing you to safely walk up and place the handcuffs on him. I`ll then get him into the truck while he`s still in a daze".
    Harry then begins to climb the tree and the man asks, "Hey what`s the shotgun for?"
    "Oh, yes," says Harry, "occasionally when I shake the tree, the gorilla shakes back, and if I fall, shoot the damn dog!"