|WORDS DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK|
WORDS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
WORDS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. I'm not interested in fighting you.
6. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real Fool!
7. Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.
WORDS DAMN EASY TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. I love you.
2. Will you marry me.
3. Tu mera bhai hai, bhai.
4. Kal se daru band.
5. One for the road. Last peg.
Words to say in the morning.
1. I was a little high, but in my senses.
2. I think it was nakli whisky.
3. Someone spiked my drink.
4. Snacks kam the, isiliye....
|A man sits down on a bar stool and tells the bartender, "Pour me a drink before the trouble starts."|
The bartender looks puzzled, but pours him a drink. The man chugs it and says, "Pour me another drink before the trouble starts."
The bartender does and the man downs it as quickly as the first.
After a few more rounds, the bartender says, "Look pal, you've had five drinks and all you talk about is 'some trouble starting.' Just when is this trouble supposed to start?"
The man replies, "Just as soon as you discover I don't have the money to pay you for these drinks!"
|A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots. The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots.|
And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five. As he finished the last one, he called to the barman and ordered four more.
The barman served up four pots and the bloke downed them... one, two, three, four. He belched, swayed a little on his stool, but ordered three more. And again he knocked them back... one, two, three.
"Two potsh, mate!" he called.
The barman served him two pots and down they went... one, two.
"One pot, sssir!"
The barman served him one but the bloke just sat there, staring at it, trying to focus.
Then he told the barman, "Y'know, it'sh ssstrange, but the lesssh I drink, the drunker I feel!"
|Billy-Bob walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!"|
The bartender says, "Well, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, hm?"
Billy-Bob says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!" The bartender congratulates him and proceeds to pour the round.
Monday evening arrives. Billy-Bob comes back into the bar and says, "Bartender, two rounds for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"
Billy-Bob looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says, "You mean they'll PAY me too?"