|A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. |
Finally, the drunk replies, No use knocking, there`s no paper in this one either.
|Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other,
"What a beautiful night, look at the moon." |
The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend. "You are wrong, that`s not the moon, that`s the sun."
Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that`s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don`t live around here
|The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his
flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his
neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them.|
"Can`t you see, Ben," intoned the Parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?"
"Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider.
"It makes me miss the folks I shoot at."
|An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending too much time at the pub, so one night he took her long. "What`ll ya have?" he asked.|
"Oh, I don`t know. The same as you, I suppose," she replied.
So the husband ordered a couple of whiskies, then threw his down in one gulp. His wife took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out.
"Yuck, that`s nasty poison!" she sputtered. "I don`t know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you thought I was out enjoying myself every night!"