• About the effects...

    A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in whiskey curled up and died.
    "All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"
    "Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."
  • Let`s start!

    A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking."
    "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"
  • Bar timings...

    At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunken guy asking what time the bar opens.
    "It opens at noon," answers the clerk.
    About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.
    "What time does the bar open?" he asks.
    "Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.
    Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"
    The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can`t wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
    "Oh! No... I don`t want to git in... Ah want to git OUT!!!"
  • Drunk Nawab!

    Nawab sahab has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he`ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him.
    "So, you ve been out drinking again!!"
    "How did you know?" he asks.
    "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."