• Magic Window

    Two guys are sitting at a bar. "You know why I love this bar?" asks the first one.

    "No," says the second guy. "Why do you love this bar?"

    The first guy points at the window, which is six stories above the ground. "It has a magic window," he says. "You jump out of that window, and you can fly."

    The second guy just shakes his head. "Shut up."

    "No," says the first guy. "It really is a magic window. I'll prove it to you."

    So the first guy gets down from his bar stool, runs at the window, jumps out of it, and flies. He flies around the building twice, up and down, and finally comes back in.

    He walks to his barstool, and takes a sip of his drink. "See?" he says.

    The second guy looks confused. He looks at his drink. "I must be drunk," he says.

    "Still don't believe me?" asks the second guy. "I'll show you again."

    He gets down from his stool, runs and jumps out of the window again. This time he performs some impressive aerial acrobatics, spins, flips, dives. When he finally comes back in, the second guy is staring at him, slack-jawed.

    "Wow," says the second guy. "A magic window." He gets off his barstool, takes a running jump out of the window, and promptly plummets to his death. The first guy starts laughing.

    The bartender comes over to the first guy with a stern look on his face. "Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk." Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2019/07/16/
    Bar
  • Hard and Difficult Words

    WORDS DIFFICULT TO S​AY​ WHEN DRUNK
    1. Innovative
    2. Preliminary
    3. Proliferation
    4. Cinnamon

    WORDS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
    1. Specificity
    2. Anti-constitutionalistically
    3. Passive-aggressive disorder
    4. Transubstantiate

    WORDS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
    1. No thanks, I'm married.
    2. Nope, no more booze for me!
    3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
    4. No thanks, I'm not hungry.
    5. I'm not interested in fighting you.
    6. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real Fool!
    7. Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

    WORDS DAMN EASY TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
    1. I love you.
    2. Will you marry me.
    3. Tu mera bhai hai, bhai.
    4. Kal se daru band.
    5. One for the road. Last peg.

    Words to say in the morning.
    1. I was a little high, but in my senses.
    2. I think it was nakli whisky.
    3. Someone spiked my drink.
    4. Snacks kam the, isiliye....
    Bar
  • Pour Me A Drink

    A man sits down on a bar stool and tells the bartender, "Pour me a drink before the trouble starts."

    The bartender looks puzzled, but pours him a drink. The man chugs it and says, "Pour me another drink before the trouble starts."

    The bartender does and the man downs it as quickly as the first.

    After a few more rounds, the bartender says, "Look pal, you've had five drinks and all you talk about is 'some trouble starting.' Just when is this trouble supposed to start?"

    The man replies, "Just as soon as you discover I don't have the money to pay you for these drinks!"
    Bar
  • The More You Drink...

    A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots. The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots.

    And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five. As he finished the last one, he called to the barman and ordered four more.

    The barman served up four pots and the bloke downed them... one, two, three, four. He belched, swayed a little on his stool, but ordered three more. And again he knocked them back... one, two, three.

    "Two potsh, mate!" he called.

    The barman served him two pots and down they went... one, two.

    "One pot, sssir!"

    The barman served him one but the bloke just sat there, staring at it, trying to focus.

    Then he told the barman, "Y'know, it'sh ssstrange, but the lesssh I drink, the drunker I feel!"
    Bar
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