• The Deer Hunter

    A man decided to take his blonde wife deer hunting for the first time.

    After he explained the basics to his blonde wife, he told her the most important piece of information, "Whenever you shoot something, make sure to claim it right away or the first person who gets to your kill can claim it as their own, so be quick if we want to have deer meat in the refrigerator." he said.

    They departed to their deer boxes and waited for some deer. Minutes later he heard his blonde wife's gun go off. The husband decided to make sure she went to claim her kill instead of giving it away to someone.

    When he got to his blonde wife she was arguing with another man who was waving his hands in the air.

    The man said, "OK, fine lady you can have your deer but do you mind if I get my saddle off before you take it away."
  • It's an Emergency

    The Boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up one of his blonde clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the Boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that she should hurry with the file.

    After more than 30 minutes the blonde appears all tired and panting for breath. The Boss asks her why she was panting and what caused the huge delay. She replies, "Sir, when I went to the lift it said, 'During an emergency please use the staircase'!!!"
  • Coffee Machine Instructions

    Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the world's worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it.

    Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready.

    A few weeks later Elly was back in the store and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.

    "Wonderful!" she replied, "However, there's one thing I don't understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"
  • Parachute Jumping

    On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.

    He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

    The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

    "That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

    After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
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