|There were these two blondes driving along the highway looking for a place to stop and picnic.|
The first blonde says, "Let's stop here, and have our picnic under that tree."
The other says, "No! Let's have it right here in the middle of the road."
They argued about it for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road.
All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve into the tree to keep from hitting them.
The one blonde says to the other, "See? If we were under that tree, we'd be dead now!"
|One day a blonde felt like being a rebel, so she decided that she would drink and drive.|
She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car.
After about 10 minutes of driving round and round she got fed up, so she parked the car, got out and walked over to the cop car, looked at the cop and said, "Aren't you going to arrest me?"
The cop asked, "Why?"
She replied, "Cause I was drinking and driving!"
The cop looked at her in bewilderment and answered, "We can't arrest you if you're driving while drinking... water!"
|Carolyn, a very rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sports car. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't go at all.|
After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealer. They send out a technician to her.
The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it. So he turns to the blonde and asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, the blonde replies, "You nut, you idiot, how on earth you could ask such a question? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears. I use 'D' during the day and 'N' at night."
|A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her psychologist.|
Psychologist: What is your dream about?
Blonde: I am being chased by a vampire...
Psychologist: So, where are you in this dream?
Blonde: I am running in a hallway.
Psychologist: Then what happens?
Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happens. I always come to a door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it won't budge!
Psychologist: Does the door have any letters on it?
Psychologist: And what do these letter spell?