• Blonde Witness

    A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

    "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"

    "Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

    "I object!" the defense said again.
    "No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
    The judge ruled, "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."
    So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"
    The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"
  • On The Other Side

    It was very crowded and noise in this Restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was.

    He says, "I can't hear you!"

    So she gets close to his ear and asks again, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is?"

    And he replies, "On the other side!"

    So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!"
  • Watch Dogs

    A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says, "Oh my, you have such beautiful dogs. What are their names?"

    The blonde replies, "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex."

    The man responds, "Huh, that's interesting. Why did you name them such names?"

    The blonde sighs and shakes her head, "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else would you name your watch dogs?"
  • Underarm Deodorant

    A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

    "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "We don't have any."

    "But, I always buy it here," says the blonde.

    "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

    "Yes," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

    She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

    Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container... "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."