• Milk Bath

    A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

    When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

    So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

    The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

    The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

    The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

    The blonde said, "No, just up to my breasts... I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!"
  • Ice Fishing

    There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing.

    Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win, they kept pulling out fish after fish.

    Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently.

    A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back. "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"
  • What's Scratch?

    A young bride was scouring the aisles of the supermarket. Up and down each aisle she went, then started over again. The store manager noticed this and went over to her.

    "Can I help you find something, miss?" he asked.

    "It's Mrs.," she said proudly, "I just got married."

    "Congratulations," said the manager. "What can I help you find?"

    "Scratch," she replied.

    "Scratch?" he asked, "Is that a new cleanser or something?"

    "No silly," she replied brightly. "My husband told me that his mother made everything from scratch, so I need to find some!"
  • How To Call For Help

    My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon he noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen.

    After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.

    Finally, he approached her and asked if she needed help.

    She replied, "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"
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