Judi went to a "Dude Ranch" on vacation. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle.
Judi asked what the difference was.
"Well," said the cowboy, "one has a horn and the other doesn't."
Judi thought about it for a second and answered, "Just get the one without the horn. I don't think we'll run into too much traffic out here."
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed And her husband says, "The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!"
Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off and go relax."
Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual,
"If you need anything just let me know," says the boss.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.
He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"
Sally breaks down in tears, "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"