|Carolyn, a very rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sports car. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't go at all.|
After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealer. They send out a technician to her.
The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it. So he turns to the blonde and asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, the blonde replies, "You nut, you idiot, how on earth you could ask such a question? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears. I use 'D' during the day and 'N' at night."
|A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her psychologist.|
Psychologist: What is your dream about?
Blonde: I am being chased by a vampire...
Psychologist: So, where are you in this dream?
Blonde: I am running in a hallway.
Psychologist: Then what happens?
Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happens. I always come to a door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it won't budge!
Psychologist: Does the door have any letters on it?
Psychologist: And what do these letter spell?
|A blonde hadn't been to church for many many months. She always promised to go, but never did.|
One day, the pastor was astounded when she suddenly show up for Sunday service. Thereafter, she was at every Sunday service, every prayer meeting, every home group meeting, etc.
Three months later, one Sunday after the service, the pastor asks her, "What happened to you? You always dodged church and now it looks like you can't get enough of it?"
She replied, "It's this new car of mine, pastor; they told me the warranty will lapse if I miss even one service!"
|A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.|
"How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk.
"Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde's feet.
"Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk.
"Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth," the blonde replies.