• Private Secretary

    Private Secretary
    Police was investigating the mysterious death of a prominent businessman who had jumped from a window of his 9th-story office.

    Nancy, his voluptuous private secretary could offer no explanation for the action but said that her boss had been acting peculiarly ever since she started working for him, a month ago.

    "After my very first week on the job," Nancy said, "I received a raise. At the end of the second week he called me into his private office, gave me a lovely black nightie, five pairs of nylon stockings and said, 'These are for a beautiful efficient secretary.'

    "At the end of the third week he gave me a fabulous mink stole. Then, this afternoon, he called me into his private office again, presented me with this fabulous diamond bracelet and asked me if I could consider making love to him and what it would cost."

    "I told him that I would, and because he had been so nice to me, he could have it for just 500 bucks, although I was charging all the other guys in the office one thousand. That's when he jumped out the window."
  • Blonde`s Eye Exam

    A blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time, found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination.

    Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

    Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

    "Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
  • Oil Cap

    Oil Cap
    A blonde goes to a auto parts store and asks for a Seven Ten cap.

    Everybody look at each other and ask, "What's a seven ten cap?"

    She says..., "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."

    "What kind of a car is it?" they ask.

    She says that it's a Buick.

    "Okay, Lady, how big is it?"

    She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.

    "What does it do?"

    She says, "I don't know, but it's always been there."

    One of the guy gives her a note pad and asks her if she can draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.

    The guys on the opposite side of the counter are looking at as she writes it...and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard.

    One guy says, "I think you want an OIL cap."
  • Blonde Bar

    Blonde Bar
    A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

    The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

    In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:
    1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
    2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    3 - I'm a 6-foot tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
    4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
    5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
    Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

    The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."