• Key in the car?

    One day there was this blonde that pulled up to a gas station. She filled her car with gas then went to the gas station clerk. Then she asked him for a hanger. The clerk asked her why and she replied that she locked her keys in the car. So the clerk gave the blonde the hanger.
    Thirty minutes later the clerks sees the same blonde outside. So the clerk decides to help them out.
    The blonde says, "No thanks."
    All of a sudden there was another blonde in the car saying, "A little bit to the left."
  • Double eventuality...

    A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees well being, asked sympathetically, "What`s the matter?"
    To which the blonde replies....."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
    The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don`t you go home for the day.....we aren`t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
    The blonde very calmly states......"No, I`d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
    The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.... "If you need anything, just let me know."
    Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking,
    "What`s so bad now........are you gonna be ok??"
    "No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"
  • Riding blonde !

    A blonde Decemberides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse`s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse`s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse`s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
  • Pa(i)nting blonde!

    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
    Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
    He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
    He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
    She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said, "For best results, put on two coats".