• Pa(i)nting blonde!

    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
    Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
    He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
    He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
    She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said, "For best results, put on two coats".
  • Speed Limits...

    A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....
    Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"
    Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."
    Cop : "Oh miss, that`s not the speed limit, that`s the name of the highway you`re on!"
    Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, I`ll be more careful from now on."
    At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
    Cop : "Excuse me miss, what`s wrong with your friends back there? They`re shaking something awful."
    Blonde : "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".
  • I`m Winning!

    A blonde was standing in front of a coke machine, she put in 50 cents and a coke came out. She set it on top of the coke machine. Put in 50 more cents pushed the button and another coke came out.
    She kept doing this until a guy standing behind her said, "Excuse me, can I get my coke and then you can go back to what ever you are doing?"
    The blonde turns around and says, "Like duh not when I am winning!!"
  • Living instructions...

    A blonde goes to a barber shop wearing headphones.
    She tells the hairdresser, "Dress my hair please, but do not remove the headphones."
    The hairdresser does his job but needs to get under the headphones to finish his work. He removes the headphones thinking that the blonde will never even notice. The blonde falls to the floor, chokes, turns blue and dies. The hairdresser picks up the headphones to see what she was listening to and hears: Breath In, Breath Out, Breath In, Breath Out....