• Living instructions...

    A blonde goes to a barber shop wearing headphones.
    She tells the hairdresser, "Dress my hair please, but do not remove the headphones."
    The hairdresser does his job but needs to get under the headphones to finish his work. He removes the headphones thinking that the blonde will never even notice. The blonde falls to the floor, chokes, turns blue and dies. The hairdresser picks up the headphones to see what she was listening to and hears: Breath In, Breath Out, Breath In, Breath Out....
  • Hair colour...

    There is a blonde driving through the country. She has just died her hair brown because she is sick of being made fun of. She is really hungry.
    She stops at a farmer’s house and says "Hi! If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?"
    Farmer says ok. She quickly counts them and says "91!"
    The farmer looks around puzzledly and says "Ok. Take one."
    When the Blonde is walking back to her car the farmer asks, "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"
  • The Blonde and the Job Interview

    A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics.
    "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
    The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying....... "Ehhhh... 22."
    The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
    "And can you tell us your height, please?"
    The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces ....."Five foot two!"
    This isn`t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won`t have to count, measure, or lookup.
    "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
    The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying ......."Mandy!"
    The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"
    "Ohhhh, that !" replies the blonde," I was just running through that song,...... Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.... ".
  • You ought to believe it!

    A blonde bombshell walks into the airplanes and sits in 1st Class and the stewardess asks her for her ticket...The stewardess tells her that she only has a coach ticket.
    The blonde says, "Im a cute looking blonde and I`m flying first class."
    The stewardess replys that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta....the blonds then retorts, "I`m a cute blonde and I`m flying first class".
    Just then the captian happened by and asked what was happening....the blonde tells him, "I`m a cute blonde and I`m flying first class to Atlanta...."
    The captian whipers in her ear...and the blonde gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach cabin...The stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move so fast..
    He replied, "I told her that 1st class is not going to atlanta."
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