• Ocean of Wheat

    Ocean of Wheat
    A blonde was driving down an old country road when she spotted a blonde rowing a boat in a in a wheat field. She pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field.

    "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?"

    The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."

    The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious.

    She yells at the blonde in the field. "It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name."

    The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.

    The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at the blonde in the field then yelled, "If I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass."
  • Hunting Blondes

    Two Blondes were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.

    The first blonde says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you."

    After about three hours, the second blonde finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits for an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.

    The next morning, the first blonde finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second blonde if he did what he told him to do.

    The blonde answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."
  • New Compaq

    New Compaq
    A blonde was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12, he's notified that his uncle has died and left him over $100,000.

    The blonde was so happy when the warden gave him the news, that he made a promise to put the money in a trust fund until he was released. The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying up the money.

    The blonde said he had read a lot about computers and wanted a PC. The warden agreed and got him a computer - a brand new Compaq. After a few weeks, the warden visited him in his cell to see how he was doing. To his amazement, he saw the computer smashed on the floor.

    The warden asked him what happened and the the blonde said it didn't work properly and that it would not even complete the simplest of tasks.

    The warden asked him what he wanted the computer to do, and the blonde said he just wanted one simple task, but the computer couldn't perform it.

    The blonde said, "I hit the Escape key and nothing happened, I hit the key again and still nothing, I am still here. I think I'm going to sue Compaq."
  • Pepper Shaker

    Pepper Shaker
    On their anniversary night, the blonde husband sat his wife down in the bedroom with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.

    "How romantic!" she thought.

    Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess.

    Her harried blond husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway.

    "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long but I had to refill the pepper shaker."

    "Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"

    "More than an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffing' it through those dumb little holes."