• Bill Gates' Old Friend

    A guy ordered a drink in an airport cocktail lounge and suddenly realized that sitting across from him was Bill Gates.

    Barely concealing his enthusiasm, he introduced himself, "Hello, Mr. Gates. My name is Larry. You don't know me, but I'd like to ask you for a small favor."

    A wary Gates asked, "And what might that be?"

    "I'm meeting with a potential client here in a few minutes and if I can sign this deal, it could change my whole life. All I ask is that you walk over and greet me like an old friend. Perhaps my client will be impressed enough to swing the deal."

    Relieved, Gates said, "Sure. I can do that for you."

    A few minutes later, as the man sat talking with his client, Gates finished his drink, walked over to them, and said, "Hey, Larry! I thought that was you. How've you been?"

    And the guy replied, "F*¬Ęk off, Gates! I'm in a meeting here!"
  • Baap Ka Sadak Hai ??

    It is said that once Russi Mody, of Tata's, was on an official trip to Bombay.Even though it was a Sunday morning, Russi had to visit Bombay House, the Corporate Head Quarters of the Tata Group.

    He was driving a Mercedes himself as it was a Sunday and there was very little traffic and also it was the chauffeur's day off. He was wearing simple shorts and a T shirt.

    Knowing that he would take just a few minutes to finish his work in Bombay House and that it was a non-working day in the business district with very low traffic, he decided to take liberties to park his Mercedes in an otherwise no parking zone.

    A conscientious traffic cop noticed all this, and he immediately rushed to Russi who had started sauntering towards the Bombay House entrance. In a gruff voice the Havaldar asked Russi, "Kyun Bhai, Baap Kaa Sadak Samajh Kay Rakha Hai Kya?"

    Russi very nonchalantly replied, "Haan kuchh aisa hi hai. Aapko Angrezi Padhna Aata Hai Kya?"

    Then he gently held the Havaldar's arm and walked him to the kerbside, and pointed to the metal sign of the road.

    He asked the cop, "Kya Likha Hai?"

    The cop said, "Sir Homi Mody Street."

    A mischievously smiling Russi discloses, "Wo Mera Baap Tha."
  • The Pope and Trump

    The Pope and Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

    The Pope leaned towards Mr. Trump and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoince!"

    Trump replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"

    So the Pope slapped him.
  • The Riddle

    Donald Trump went to London and met with the Queen.

    "Your Queenship," he asked her. "I am finding things way more difficult than I could have imagined. May I ask you - how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?`

    "Well," replied Her Majesty, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

    Trump frowned.
    "But how do you know the people around you are really intelligent?" he asked.

    "Oh, that's easy` the Queen replied. "You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle`.

    She pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Theresa May in here."

    The Prime Minister walked into the room.

    "You called for me, Your Majesty?"

    "Answer me this, if you would, Theresa. " the Queen said. "Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?`

    Without pausing for even a second, Theresa May answered, "That would be me."

    "Yes! Very good,` said the Queen. Trump went back home, returned to the White House and the very next day called for Mike Pence to come and see him.

    Pence duly trotted in to the Oval Office.

    "Mike, answer this for me," said the Don. "Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?`

    "I'm not sure," said Pence. "Let me get back to you on that one.

    Pence went panicking off to his advisers and asked everyone, but none of them could give him an answer.

    The next night, as it happened, Pence ran in to Hillary Clinton in a restaurant. By now, desperate for an answer to give to his tyrannical boss, he approached her - much to her surprise.


    "Hillary, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye but I would really appreciate it if you could answer this riddle for me.

    "Sure, Mike "Hillary said. "I'm not one to hold a grudge. What is it?`

    "Thanks, said Pence,` It's this. Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?`

    Hillary answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"

    Pence smiled, "Thanks!"

    Pence then went back to speak with Trump. "Say, boss, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Hillary Clinton.`

    Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled at him. "No, you idiot! It's Theresa May!"

    ... AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE.