Celebrities Jokes

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Gandhi and Professor Peters

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their "arguments" were very common.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.

The professor, in his arrogance, said, "Mr Gandhi: you do not understand... a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."

Gandhi replies, "You do not worry professor, I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, green of rage, decides to take revenge on the next test, but Gandhi responds brilliantly to all questions.

Then, Mr. Peters asked him the following question, "Mr Gandhi, if you are walking down the street and find a package, and within it there is a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money; which one will you take?" Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "The one with the money, of course."

Mr. Peters, smiling, said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?"

"Each one take what one doesn't have", responded Gandhi indifferently.

Mr. Peters, already hysteric, writes on the exam sheet the word "idiot" and gives it to Gandhi. Gandhi takes the exam sheet and sits down.

A few minutes later, Gandhi goes to the professor and says, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."

The Flatulent Horse!!!

As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards the Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is so atrocious that both the passengers in the carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but, the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen politely turns to President Obama, "Mr President, please, accept my regrets... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," responded, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

Moral of the story: Silence is Golden!

Lesser Known facts about Arnab

Once Rajnikanth taught a baby to talk...that baby was named Arnab Goswami.

Arnab's wife never argues with him as she is afraid of losing.

Most of the self proclaimed evidence papers he waves on his show Newshour are grocery lists written by his wife.

When Arnab Goswami was in school, he used to answer every question with 33 questions.

Arnab Goswami's maid once fainted due to low BP after Goswami questioned her absence from duty .

Once a service manager at a prominent 5-star hotel asked Arnab for feeback on his stay. The manager was released only after Goswami asked him 74 questions.

To calculate the longest Arnab Goswami has ever paused, IIT - Delhi is working on a device that can record time in nanoseconds.

Proposed airport near Times Now studio cancelled as noise from The Newshour could weaken structure.

Bennet & Coleman is proposing to place a mini turbine inside Arnab Goswami's throat, the resultant electricity can power all the Times group buildings in Delhi Area.

Pakistan's former dictator Parvez Musharraf had 5 military interrogators question him non-stop for 34 hours in preparation for his first appearance on Newshour.

If Arnab Goswami had been in Jail with Kasab... the hanging won't happen because Arnab won't let him complete his sentence!!

To commemorate Arnab Goswami's 1000th "Debate", a new all-caps font is being released that seems like it is shouting at you. It will be called the TIMES NOW ROMAN.

From the moon, you can see the Great Wall of China............ and you can hear Arnab Goswami shouting 'The Nation Wants to Know' !!!

Arnab Goswami is fluent in English, but weak in Grammar... he has not mastered the full stop and comma!

Interview with Chris Gayle's son

Beta, which standard are you in?
-SIX

And how far is your school?
- At a distance of 10 SIXES from home.

Okay, tell me how much is a dozen?
- 2 SIXES

How many months are in a year?
- 2 SIXES

How many days are in a month?
- 5 SIXES

Umm... ok, I wanna talk to your father, can you give me his no?
- SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX!

Quotes

Deep doubts, deep wisdom; small doubts, little wisdom.

Trivia

Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as a medicine.

Graffiti

If the enemy is in range, so are you.