• First PITCH !!!

    President Obama and Michelle are at the White Sox baseball game, sitting in the first row with the Secret Service seated directly behind them.

    One of the Secret Service agents leans forward and says something to the President.

    Barack stares at the agent, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head.

    The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was a request from the team owner who is a big campaign contributor, and the fans will love it!"

    So, Barack shrugs and says, "Well, if it will help my poll numbers."

    He gets up, grabs Michelle by her collar and the seat of her pants, and drops her right over the wall into the field. She gets up kicking, screaming & swearing. The crowd goes wild; cheering, applauding, and high-fiving.

    Barack is bowing and smiling, and leans over to the agent and says, "You were right, I would have never believed that!"

    Noticing the agent has gone totally pale, Barack asks what was wrong.

    The agent replies, "Sir, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!!!"
  • Grand Prize!!!

    A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up.

    The RJ said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."

    "That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

    "Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question."

    "Well, I've got a Masters in maths and have been teaching for 35+ years," I proudly replied.

    "Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a Himesh Reshamiyas new movie and to meet him back stage:

    What is 2+2?"

    I replied, "7!!!"
  • Alia Bhatt Trolls...

    Interviewer: Alia, according to you, which is the best team in IPL 7 so far?
    Alia Bhatt: Sunrisers Hyderabad because all have orange caps.

    Deepika: Will you come to see my Chennai Express?
    Alia: No! IRCTC site is not working.

    Alia Bhatt is so dumb that she thought Pani Puri, Sev Puri are all relatives of Amrish Puri.
    Chetan Bhagat: What's the opposite of IIT?
    Alia: U UCoffee.

    Arnab: What's the first name of Modi?
    Alia: Abki Baar.

    Aamirv Khan: How did India get Indipendence?
    Alia: When you hit a six against England. Mahesh Bhaat: Vote dene chalein?
    Alia Bhaat: Papa aap miss call karke bhi vote de sakthe hain, maine kal DID mein dekha tha...!!!

    Einstein says: Be friends with Alia Bhatt and feel like a genius all the time!

    Scene: Alia Bhatt on KBC
    Q. Alia, which of the following is the largest?
    A. A Peanut
    B. An Elephant
    C. The Moon
    D. A Kettle

    Alia: It's B. An Elephant...

    Alia Bhatt in Arnab Goswami's studio
    Arnab Goswami: Alia, Who will win the elections?
    Alia: Aam aadmi party because its 'aam' ka season.

    Scene: Alia Bhatt on Koffee With Karan. Karan: Alia, who was the first person to climb Mount Everest?
    Alia: Simple, the person who made it.

    Scene: Boman Irani asks Alia
    Boman: Alia do you know MS office?
    Alia: If you tell me the address I ll know.

    Scene: Alia Bhatt on Koffee With Karan (rapid fire)
    Karan: Alia which food do you love the most?
    Alia: Desi.
    Karan: And which dish?
    Alia: Pasta.
  • Tiger is the Latest Bakra !!!

    Tiger Shroff is so smooth that he should replace Katrina kaif in Veet ads...

    How many of you believe that Tiger Shroff is an endangered species even before his first release?

    Don't be mean guys... Give a big round of applause to Tiger Shroff for an outstanding Oscar winning performance in Life of Pi.

    Tiger Shroff's debut movie would premier on Animal Planet.

    Once Tiger Shroff was locked in the room by Jackie Shroff. Tiger Shroff updated his Whatsapp status as: I'm Sherlocked.

    Son = Jackie Shroff, Looks = Jackie Chan, Career graph like = Jackie Bhagnani.

    Heropanti is Jackie Shroff's attempt to be a responsible citizen by contributing to Tiger conservation project.

    All the movies of Tiger Shroff will carry the message 'No animals were harmed in this film'.

    Reporter: What's your favorite movie? Tiger Shroff : Ek Tha Tiger

    Why is Jackie Shroff's Son Religious? A) Because he Preys regularly.

    Why does Tiger Shroff look like Shekhar Suman's son rather than Jackie Shroff's. Coz they have the same shade of lipsticks.

    Every time I think I have seen everything, Universe shocks me with a new revelation. Just saw a Tiger Shroff Fan Club twitter handle.

    According to government only 1411 left in India.. but is it excluding or including tiger shroff ??

    Wondering who is the prettier star kid, Alia, Sonam or Tiger Shroff?

    If Tiger Shroff becomes famous, his wax statue will be kept in Jim Corbett Park instead of Madam Tussaud's.

    Tiger Shroff is trending because Tiger is our National animal.

    'Save the tigers'. Only 1411 left. Tiger Shroff: Make it 1412.

    'Tiger se darr nahi lagta sahab,Tiger shroff se lagta hai.' - Indians

    Tiger Shroff's favorite market is Karol Bagh.

    Tiger Shroff will never ever beaten in any movie coz it will be against animal rights.