• Grand Prize!!!

    A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up.

    The RJ said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."

    "That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

    "Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question."

    "Well, I've got a Masters in maths and have been teaching for 35+ years," I proudly replied.

    "Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a Himesh Reshamiyas new movie and to meet him back stage:

    What is 2+2?"

    I replied, "7!!!"
  • Alia Bhatt Trolls...

    Interviewer: Alia, according to you, which is the best team in IPL 7 so far?
    Alia Bhatt: Sunrisers Hyderabad because all have orange caps.

    Deepika: Will you come to see my Chennai Express?
    Alia: No! IRCTC site is not working.

    Alia Bhatt is so dumb that she thought Pani Puri, Sev Puri are all relatives of Amrish Puri.
    Chetan Bhagat: What's the opposite of IIT?
    Alia: U UCoffee.

    Arnab: What's the first name of Modi?
    Alia: Abki Baar.

    Aamirv Khan: How did India get Indipendence?
    Alia: When you hit a six against England. Mahesh Bhaat: Vote dene chalein?
    Alia Bhaat: Papa aap miss call karke bhi vote de sakthe hain, maine kal DID mein dekha tha...!!!

    Einstein says: Be friends with Alia Bhatt and feel like a genius all the time!

    Scene: Alia Bhatt on KBC
    Q. Alia, which of the following is the largest?
    A. A Peanut
    B. An Elephant
    C. The Moon
    D. A Kettle

    Alia: It's B. An Elephant...

    Alia Bhatt in Arnab Goswami's studio
    Arnab Goswami: Alia, Who will win the elections?
    Alia: Aam aadmi party because its 'aam' ka season.

    Scene: Alia Bhatt on Koffee With Karan. Karan: Alia, who was the first person to climb Mount Everest?
    Alia: Simple, the person who made it.

    Scene: Boman Irani asks Alia
    Boman: Alia do you know MS office?
    Alia: If you tell me the address I ll know.

    Scene: Alia Bhatt on Koffee With Karan (rapid fire)
    Karan: Alia which food do you love the most?
    Alia: Desi.
    Karan: And which dish?
    Alia: Pasta.
  • Tiger is the Latest Bakra !!!

    Tiger Shroff is so smooth that he should replace Katrina kaif in Veet ads...

    How many of you believe that Tiger Shroff is an endangered species even before his first release?

    Don't be mean guys... Give a big round of applause to Tiger Shroff for an outstanding Oscar winning performance in Life of Pi.

    Tiger Shroff's debut movie would premier on Animal Planet.

    Once Tiger Shroff was locked in the room by Jackie Shroff. Tiger Shroff updated his Whatsapp status as: I'm Sherlocked.

    Son = Jackie Shroff, Looks = Jackie Chan, Career graph like = Jackie Bhagnani.

    Heropanti is Jackie Shroff's attempt to be a responsible citizen by contributing to Tiger conservation project.

    All the movies of Tiger Shroff will carry the message 'No animals were harmed in this film'.

    Reporter: What's your favorite movie? Tiger Shroff : Ek Tha Tiger

    Why is Jackie Shroff's Son Religious? A) Because he Preys regularly.

    Why does Tiger Shroff look like Shekhar Suman's son rather than Jackie Shroff's. Coz they have the same shade of lipsticks.

    Every time I think I have seen everything, Universe shocks me with a new revelation. Just saw a Tiger Shroff Fan Club twitter handle.

    According to government only 1411 left in India.. but is it excluding or including tiger shroff ??

    Wondering who is the prettier star kid, Alia, Sonam or Tiger Shroff?

    If Tiger Shroff becomes famous, his wax statue will be kept in Jim Corbett Park instead of Madam Tussaud's.

    Tiger Shroff is trending because Tiger is our National animal.

    'Save the tigers'. Only 1411 left. Tiger Shroff: Make it 1412.

    'Tiger se darr nahi lagta sahab,Tiger shroff se lagta hai.' - Indians

    Tiger Shroff's favorite market is Karol Bagh.

    Tiger Shroff will never ever beaten in any movie coz it will be against animal rights.
  • Gandhi and Professor Peters

    When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their "arguments" were very common.

    One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.

    The professor, in his arrogance, said, "Mr Gandhi: you do not understand... a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."

    Gandhi replies, "You do not worry professor, I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.

    Mr. Peters, green of rage, decides to take revenge on the next test, but Gandhi responds brilliantly to all questions.

    Then, Mr. Peters asked him the following question, "Mr Gandhi, if you are walking down the street and find a package, and within it there is a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money; which one will you take?" Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "The one with the money, of course."

    Mr. Peters, smiling, said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?"

    "Each one take what one doesn't have", responded Gandhi indifferently.

    Mr. Peters, already hysteric, writes on the exam sheet the word "idiot" and gives it to Gandhi. Gandhi takes the exam sheet and sits down.

    A few minutes later, Gandhi goes to the professor and says, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."
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