• A Little Pain

    The new priest was hosting a meeting in the church of the young candidates for First Communion, with their parents.

    Now, this church had some magnificent stained glass windows, so his message centered on how each of us is called to help make up the whole picture of life, i.e. the life of the community of the faithful. Like the pictures in the windows, it takes many little panels of glass to make the whole picture.

    And then he said, "You see, each one of you is a little pane," and pointing to each child, he said, "You're a little pane. And you're a little pane. And you're a little pane. And...."

    It took a few moments before he realized why all the parents were laughing so hard.
  • Bought vs. Homemade

    Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school.

    Her mother, very interested, asks, "Oh... How did it go?"

    "I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

    Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."

    "No... but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"
  • Pushing The Wrong Way...

    Two boys were struggling with a huge table in a doorway. They pushed and pulled and upped it and downed it until both were exhausted.

    Between gasps for air, one managed to say, "We better give up... because we'll never get this table into the house."

    "Into the house?" screamed the other. "I thought we were moving it out of the house!"
  • Monopoly Money

    Ricky was at the mall and went into a toy shop, picked up a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper Monopoly money and started to leave.

    The shopkeeper told him, "Excuse me little boy, this isn't real money."

    Ricky continued walking out of the shop and didn't reply.

    The shopkeeper repeated himself, and Ricky kept walking.

    The third time the shopkeeper called him, Ricky said "What?"

    The shopkeeper said, "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money."

    Ricky looked at the plane in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, "And this isn't a real plane."