• Drum Problem

    There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child.

    One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.

    A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked.

    Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what's inside the drum?"
  • What Kids Say About Beer

    Handful of 7 year Old Children were asked: What they thought of beer?
    Some interesting responses:

    "I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my Mom gets."
    --Tim, 7 years old

    "Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice."
    --Mellanie, 7 years old

    "My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties and gallops around, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny."
    --Grady, 7 years old

    ''My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing."
    --Toby, 7 years old

    "My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much."
    --Sarah, 7 years old

    "My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool"
    --Lilly, 7 years old

    "I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting."
    --Ethan, 7 years old

    "I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep."
    --Shirley, 7 years old

    "My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense."
    --Jack, 7 years old
  • Cuss Words

    A preacher was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine. As he was pounding away, he noticed that a little boy was watching him.

    The youngster did not say a word, so the preacher kept working. He was sure the lad would soon leave but he didn't.

    Pleased at the thought that his work was being admired, the preacher finally said, "Well, son, trying to pick up some pointers on carpentry work?"

    "Nope. I'm just waiting to hear what a preacher says when he hits his thumb with a hammer."
  • Explaining Poo

    A little boy asks his dad "Where does poo come from?" His father is taken aback by the question but decides to give his son the facts straight up.

    "Well son," he says, "food passes down the esophagus by peristalsis. It enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This contracts the protein before waste enters the colon. Water is absorbed, whereupon it enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo."

    "Wow," says the boy. "So where does Tigger come from?"