• Nose Picking

    Nose Picking
    As Joe was trying to pack for vacation, his 3-year-old daughter was having a great time playing on the bed.

    At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

    Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her fingers in his mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before he rushed out of the room again.

    When Joe returned, his daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears streaming down her face...

    Joe said, "What's wrong honey?"

    Dejected, sad and broken, she looked up at him and said, "Daddy, where's my booger?
  • A Proud Indian

    A Proud Indian
    A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

    There is, however, one exception.

    A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.

    The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." replied Gita.

    "Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

    "I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.

    The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita why she is an Indian.

    "Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."

    The teacher is now angry.

    "That's no reason", she says loudly, "if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?"

    A pause, and a smile.

    "Then," says Gita, "I'd be an American."
  • Financial Advice

    Financial Advice
    A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father.

    "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"

    "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

    "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

    "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "There must be some mistake."

    "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
  • Pregnant Lady

    A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.

    He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

    She replied, "I'm having a baby."

    With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

    She answered, "He sure is."

    Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

    She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

    With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"