• Kids Answers

    As answered by elementary school students:

    Q: How Do You Decide Who To Marry?
    You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
    Alan, age 10

    No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
    Kirsten, age 10

    Q: What is the Right Age To Get Married?
    Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
    Camille, age 10

    No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
    Freddie, age 6

    Q: How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?
    You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
    Derrick, age 8

    Q: What Do Your Think Your Mom and Dad Have In Common?
    Both don't want any more kids.
    Lori, age 8

    Q: What Do Most People Do On A Date?
    Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
    Lynnette, age 8

    On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
    Martin, age 10

    Q: What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?
    I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
    Craig, age 9

    Q: When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
    When they're rich.
    Pam, age 7

    The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
    Curt, age 7

    The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them & have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
    Howard, age 8

    Q: Is It Better To Be Single or Married?
    It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

    Anita, age 9

    Q: How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married?
    There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
    Kelvin, age 8

    Q: How Would You Make a Marriage Work?
    Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

    Ricky, age 10
  • Drum Problem

    There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child.

    One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.

    A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked.

    Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what's inside the drum?"
  • What Kids Say About Beer

    Handful of 7 year Old Children were asked: What they thought of beer?
    Some interesting responses:

    "I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my Mom gets."
    --Tim, 7 years old

    "Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice."
    --Mellanie, 7 years old

    "My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties and gallops around, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny."
    --Grady, 7 years old

    ''My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing."
    --Toby, 7 years old

    "My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much."
    --Sarah, 7 years old

    "My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool"
    --Lilly, 7 years old

    "I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting."
    --Ethan, 7 years old

    "I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep."
    --Shirley, 7 years old

    "My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense."
    --Jack, 7 years old
  • Cuss Words

    A preacher was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine. As he was pounding away, he noticed that a little boy was watching him.

    The youngster did not say a word, so the preacher kept working. He was sure the lad would soon leave but he didn't.

    Pleased at the thought that his work was being admired, the preacher finally said, "Well, son, trying to pick up some pointers on carpentry work?"

    "Nope. I'm just waiting to hear what a preacher says when he hits his thumb with a hammer."