• Help Suzy

    A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher's pet.

    He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become amen, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."

    The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room.

    She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can."

    The next on the list was Little Johnny, sitting in the back of the room.

    He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a damn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think I can!"
  • Shocking letter

    A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed.With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But it is not only that mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may want. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren.


    Love
    Your daughter, Judith

    PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the school's report card that's in my desk drawer...I love you!
  • Who's the father?

    A young boy comes running down the street looking for a cop.

    He finds one and then begs, "Please, officer, come back to the bar with me, my father's in a fight."

    Well, they get back to the bar and there's three guys fighting like you wouldn't believe.

    After a while the cop turns to the kid and says, "Okay, which one's your father."

    The kid looks up at the cop and says, "I don't know, officer, that's what they're fighting about."
  • What's Sex?

    A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mum, what's sex?"

    His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.

    When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?