• Reward

    One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
    Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
    After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."
    The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"
    "I'll personally hand it to you," said Bush. "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.
    "I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said Bush. "And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.
    "I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!"
    "No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning."
  • Stupidest kid!

    A businessman was talking with his barber, when they both noticed a goofy-looking kid bouncing down the sidewalk.
    The barber whispered, "That's Johnnie, one of the stupidest kids you'll ever meet. Here, I'll show you."
    "Hey Johnnie! Come here!" yelled the barber.
    Johnnie came bouncing over "Hello Sir!"
    The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Johnnie he could keep the one of his choice.
    Johnnie looked long and hard at the dime and quarter and then quickly snapped the dime from the barber's hand.
    The barber looked at the businessman and said, "See, I told you."
    After his haircut, the businessman caught up with Johnnie and asked him why he chose the dime.
    Johnnie looked at him in the eye and said, "If I take the quarter, the game is over."
  • Better job

    Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God made you, Grandpa?"
    "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.
    A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
    "Yes, He did," the older man answered.
    For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up.
    "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
  • Meanest Dad

    One day three young boys were playing, and talking about their home life with their parents. One little boy said, "It's about time I be getting home, because if I'm late for supper, my Dad will get mad and whip up on me. He's a real mean father."
    The second little boy said, "Your father ain't mean, I got the meanest Dad in the world."
    The first little boy said, "How come you say that?"
    The second little boy said, "Every time I go home, he slaps me if I say something, and if I don't say something he slaps me. Man I just don't know what to do anymore."
    The third little boy said, "Not me, I got the best Dad in the world. He plays with me, and do things with me. He's a real good Dad."
    The first two boys looked at him kind of funny and said, "Do he teach you how to do things too?"
    The third boy said, "He sho' do, he's teaching me how to swim! Every morning he takes me out to the middle of the lake, and let's me swim back to the shore."
    The first two said, almost in unison, "Ain't it kind of hard to swim from the middle of the lake back to the shore?"
    "Nah, that's the easy part, the hard part is getting out of that sack!"