|A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.|
"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"
After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
"You didn`t just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.
"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."
"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service."
The boy thanked him profusely.
"But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."
"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."
|A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real.
He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"|
Steven raised his hand and said, "He`s in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He`s in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He`s in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"
|An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.|
"If you get in the car," the driver says, "I`ll give you five hundred rupees and a piece of candy."
The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again.
"How about thousand rupees and five pieces of candy?"
The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking.
Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.
"OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I`ll give you five thousand rupees and all the candy you can eat."
The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in.
"Look," he says to the driver. "You bought the Ford, Dad. You`ll have to live with it!"
|One day Johnny was at church and ask the priest may I go to the bathroom, the priest said.|
"Yes you may."
Johnny left and headed for the woods. He found a big tree and crouched down to take a dump. Meanwhile, the priest went looking for him in the woods.
Johnny heard the priest coming, wiped his butt with a leaf and pulled his pants up. Johnny then took his hat off and put it on top of the poop.
The priest saw him and said, "What do you got underneath there?"
Johnny hesitated and said, " The fastest bird in the world."
The priest said, "Oh yeah, let`s see."
"Ok" Johnny said, "On the count of 3, when I take the hat off, I want you to grab the bird."
"1 - 2 - 3." Johnny pulled the hat away and the priest grabbed the poop.
"WOW, that bird is so fast it left the poop behind" said Johnny.