• Proverbs by kids

    A Third grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:
    Love all, trust ... me.
    No news is ... impossible.
    Strike while the ... bug is close.
    A miss is as good as a ... Mrs.
    A penny saved is ... not much.
    Don`t bite the hand that ... looks dirty.
    You can`t teach an old dog ... math.
    None are so blind as ... Helen Keller.
    The pen is mightier than ... the pigs.
    An idle mind is ... the best way to relax.
    Where there is smoke, there`s ... pollution.
    Better to be safe than .... punch a 5th grader
    Happy is the bride who ... gets all the presents.
    Never underestimate the power of ... termites.
    When the blind lead the blind ... get out of the way.
    If at first you don`t succeed ... get new batteries.
    If you lie down with dogs, you ... will stink in the morning.
    Children should be seen and not ... spanked or grounded.
    You get out of something what you ... see pictured on the box.
    Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and ... you have to blow your nose.
  • Johnnie`s request

    Johnnie wanted $100 to buy a remote control car, so he prayed like crazy for two weeks ... but nothing happened.
    Johnnie decided to write God an urgent letter, requesting $100. When the post office received the letter addressed to God, USA, they forwarded the letter to the president.
    The president was so amused by the letter that he told his secretary to send Johnnie a $5 bill, figuring this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
    When Johnnie received the cash, he was so delighted that he wrote a thank you note which read:
    Dear God:
    Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through Washington, D.C. Next time, don`t do that because, as usual, those jerks took 95%.
  • Johnny and the Pastor

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning son."
    "Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.
    "Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service", replied the pastor.
    Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny`s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"
  • Perfect archer

    A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
    "Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"
    After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
    "You didn`t just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.
    "No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."
    "That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service."
    The boy thanked him profusely.
    "But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."
    "Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."