• Johnny and the Pastor

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning son."
    "Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.
    "Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service", replied the pastor.
    Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny`s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"
  • Perfect archer

    A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
    "Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"
    After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
    "You didn`t just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.
    "No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."
    "That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service."
    The boy thanked him profusely.
    "But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."
    "Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."
  • Where is Jesus?

    A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
    Steven raised his hand and said, "He`s in heaven."
    Mary was called on and answered, "He`s in my heart."
    Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He`s in our bathroom!!!"
    The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
    Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
    Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"
  • The bribe!

    An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.
    "If you get in the car," the driver says, "I`ll give you five hundred rupees and a piece of candy."
    The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
    A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again.
    "How about thousand rupees and five pieces of candy?"
    The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking.
    Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.
    "OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I`ll give you five thousand rupees and all the candy you can eat."
    The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in.
    "Look," he says to the driver. "You bought the Ford, Dad. You`ll have to live with it!"