• True Lies!

    A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
    The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
    One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we`ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
    Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn`t be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don`t you boys know it`s a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
    There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he`d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
  • Do You See....

    One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in the classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
    The teacher asked a little boy: Sonu do you see the tree outside?
    Sonu: Yes.
    Teacher: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
    Sonu: Yes.
    Teacher: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
    Sonu: OK. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
    Teacher: Did you see God?
    Sonu: No.
    Teacher: That`s my point. We can`t see God because he isn`t there. He doesn`t exist.
    A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
    The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: Do you see the tree outside?
    Sonu: Yes.
    Little girl: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
    Sonu: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time)
    Little girl: Did you see the sky?
    Sonu: Yessssss
    Little Girl: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
    Sonu: Yes
    Little Girl: Do you see her brain?
    Sonu: No
    Little Girl: Does that mean she doesn`t have one?
  • Sharp memory

    Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, "Hello Class, I`m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class, remember it has an "r" after the first letter."
    A few days later the regular teacher is still sick. When Little Johnny gets to his desk, the teacher asks him what her name is. Johnny thinks hard and then says, "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter."
    "That`s right." she coaxed.
    Then after a few second, Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"
  • Unusual event!

    Unusual event!
    The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay.
    It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..."
    "My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"
    "He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
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